Deleted
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Rants
Dec 11, 2013 15:05:27 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 15:05:27 GMT -5
My step mother left for work, all ticked because she broke one of those sliding doors. She tried to fix it, but she didn't have the patience. So she left me to do it.
I don'thave patience either, so I didn't feel nor act Christian-like asI lost my temper.
An hour later, my sister and I fixed the door to the best of our abilities. It STILL looks jacked up. So my stepmom isgoing to have a cow because it looks the way it is now.
To be honest? I'm not talented with fixing things. Neither is my sister. When we got the door into the similar postion as it was before it was broken, we left it alone, because we don't want to do it again.
If you want something fixed? Don't come to us. We'll more than likely demolish it.
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Rants
Dec 12, 2013 19:06:49 GMT -5
Post by Quinn on Dec 12, 2013 19:06:49 GMT -5
@jewel
Demolishing it sounds rather fun.
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Deleted
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Dec 12, 2013 20:38:37 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2013 20:38:37 GMT -5
Changing my profile pic is a friggen' pain! All I see is a question mark! Technology is a ...
Fill in the blanks for me, somebody.
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Deleted
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Dec 18, 2013 18:23:22 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2013 18:23:22 GMT -5
Never hane I ever wanted to a) punch somebody in the face and b) cuss somebody out/flip them off so badly.
Second hour, some girl told me to shut up, I dared her to say it again, thinking she wasn't gonna do it, she did it again. I'm not known for fighting, so all I could do was give her a glare. Five minutes later, a boy retold it, calling my glare a "Got to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks glare."
((I realized that censoring words stink. They don't get the point across.))
Then, just not two minutes ago, my stepmother was in a yelling sorta mood. ((Who am I kidding?! There is no "sorta"!)) Taking her anger and frustrations on me and the siblings when she was ticked because she was going to be late for her appointment.
-_- Thay can go shove it, for all I care. Yes, I'm not in a good mood. No, I don't think it will be gone anytime soon.
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Rants
Dec 18, 2013 20:55:30 GMT -5
Post by Quinn on Dec 18, 2013 20:55:30 GMT -5
Bah. Parents are arguing again.
Apparently, I'm not more valuable than dirt to my stepfather, but if anyone says anything about his biological son, and he's fu- freaking God. Same goes for my stepbrother's girlfriend.
Ha, it's funny. He yells at me and tells me if I have sex, then he'll break my parts. But what's his son doing in that room with his girlfriend? It definitely is not wrestling.
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Rants
Dec 19, 2013 7:36:06 GMT -5
Post by Quinn on Dec 19, 2013 7:36:06 GMT -5
If I wanted Christmas music, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, I would have asked for it. Thankfully you quickly got rid of those pitchy children, otherwise you would have been skipped.
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Rants
Dec 19, 2013 7:36:54 GMT -5
Post by Quinn on Dec 19, 2013 7:36:54 GMT -5
Oh dear God! They're back! My ears! They bleed!
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Deleted
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Rants
Dec 22, 2013 19:11:40 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2013 19:11:40 GMT -5
Let me just say that people can get over me being myself.
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Dec 22, 2013 22:02:03 GMT -5
Post by Quinn on Dec 22, 2013 22:02:03 GMT -5
I'm hungry.
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Rants
Dec 23, 2013 4:52:31 GMT -5
Post by Ventia on Dec 23, 2013 4:52:31 GMT -5
I'm tired. Really tired. Not just the sleepy kind of tired even though it's already past 4:00 am, but more of the emotionally one too. Rants are about letting go of things so that you can feel better, right? Well, that's what I'm doing. I always find it a little ironic, you know? Me opening up? I mean, over here in real life I can't. I can't open up to anyone. Anyone. My mother hates it. My sister feels betrayed. My father doesn't even care and my brother doesn't even noticed. But that's okay. I'm the type of person who bottles everything in. Who makes believe that nothing's wrong and that I'm a happy gal. That what someone does doesn't effect me or that I'm over it. Well, key words make believe! I pretend lol. I'm NOT that girl. I hear, see, and feel everything that someone does to me and it builds and builds and builds and fucking builds inside of me. But I don't show anything! I can't. That's why I find it ironic. I can open up to you guys. Well sometimes, it's only on days like these when I'm up all night and can feel depression suffocating me that makes me write this. But, I'm opening up to you guys nonetheless. I have a sister you know. And she's the complete opposite of me. She's beautiful, lively and just plain right outstanding. She's also a drama queen and she never holds anything in, she lets it out that instant. She has a boyfriend, fiancé really, and whenever they get into a heated argument, they battle it out (they do this daily lol) but in the end result, she's not suffocating with everything inside of her. I envy her of that. I always envied her though. She's short, skinny, beautiful beyond compare, has a awesome personality and can get any guy she ever wants. She was in the center of attention, still is. I envied that. Because I could never be like that. I couldn't. It was impossible for me. The whole point is, is that she doesn't hold anything in. But I do. I hold in everything. Everything. I'm not talking about some petty stupid shit like not getting what I wanted for Christmas or something, no that's fucking stupid. No, I'm talking about ten years of emotional pain. I'm talking about rape, incest, suicidal thoughts, bullying, emotional abuse, a shitty household and the fact that my parents are gonna get a fucking divorce. I'm talking about how school drains me to the point that I don't believe I'll go into college and that I have to deal with the fucking drama that never fails to be in my family. I fucking hold everything in. And it hurts. It fucking hurts and I can't let go. I can't. Even now, I'm shaking as I'm writing this because my body doesn't want me to let go. I don't want me to let go. I can't let go. I won't let go. I'm fucked up. I'm really fucked up. This past year, I've had to deal with so much that's I'm just drained. I can't stand anymore bullshit. I can't stand my father anymore. Doesn't he know that whenever he rolls his eyes at my mother that it annoys me? Or that when he talks back to her that it gets on my nerves? Or that I fucking miss him? He's never here anymore. He's never here. He's always at work, or playing racking ball with his friends, or doing another "job" or getting movies. Doesn't he know that in my mind? In my mind he's already gone? Doesn't he know that whenever he gets a text message I know that it's a slut that he's cheating on with? Doesn't he fucking know?!!! Doesn't he know that when he gets into fights with my mom that I cry myself to sleep? That I want to clap my hands on my ears and just scream? Or when he says that he's 'done' and that he's leaving? Doesn't he know that that kills me? That it fucking kills me? Doesn't he hear my heart twisting and breaking into tiny shards? My hearts already damaged! Why must he damaged it more? Doesn't he know that I'm just trying to make him approve of me? That I want him as my dad? I want my dad back. Why is that so hard? Why? I just want my dad. I want my daddy back and he's never coming back. Why? Why? Why is it so fucking hard for him to get that in his mind? Why must he always run away from the house? If he hates us so much then why doesn't he fucking leave already? He talks to much about it? Why doesn't he fucking do it. Save me the heartache and just fucking leave. LEAVE!! I hate it. I hate it. I just fucking hate it. I can't stand being here anymore. I can't stand the drama. Can't stand the pity looks or anything. I'm drowning in my misery over here and he just runs away like a fucking child. Man up Dad. Man the fuck up. I just want my dad back. Why is that so hard? Why? It's not that hard dad, just come back. I'm tired. Of everything. I'm tired of the people in this neighborhood. I'm tired of the looks that my ex gives me. I'm tired of having to deal with three children and act as their mother while my sister is outside running after her boyfriend having another fight. I'm tired of the days passing by in a daze. I'm tired of my brother's attitude. Why can't my mother stand up for herself? Why can't she just confront my dad? I'm tired. You know? I'm tired of acting. Of playing the sweet Jess. I'm tired of being emotionless. I want to scream, I'm already crying. I'm tired of myself the most though. Im such a pushover. Lol. I just want to smoke and get away from everything. To drown myself in liquor so that I can stop thinking. I'm my worst enemy you know? Lol. Someone who meant a lot to me said that before. And it's so fucking true. You guys make everything disappear for a little while. You know? I'm grateful. I'm so fucking grateful that I can block everything while I'm with you. I can pretend that Everything okay. That I'm not killing myself. But it's not enough lol. Lol. I'm so tired. Lol. I'm such a worthless sod. I'm so stupid sometimes. Depression sucks you know. At least when you're high, you're happy. I wanna be happy. I really do. But alas, I can't. I can't be happy because no one would accept this. No one. My own family can't even accept me. I can't even accept me. I'm tired of myself. I'm tired of life and I'm tired of people. I just want to drift away. Escape. Run away like my dad. Like a coward. I guess we have that in common. I'm so tired. So bloody tired. Well it is late. It's almost five now. Haha. I'm going to sleep. This is my rant: tiredness in so many levels. Even now I can't even open up that much. God, I'm fucked up. Whatever. Goodnight everyone!!!!
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Rants
Dec 23, 2013 12:43:07 GMT -5
Post by Quinn on Dec 23, 2013 12:43:07 GMT -5
I'm going to rip someone's entrails out and use them to string my violin. I swear to God.
I haven't ate since lunch yesterday, I have to clean the entire house, I've cut my finger, then turned around and smashed said finger, my dog (who's in heat) just bled all over my comforter and I don't have a replacement, so I have to deal with it, I have to get my sister from my grandma's and waste gas getting to my Dad's tonight. Everything is just grating on my nerves. Grating. On. My. Nerves.
The best part about yesterday and not eating anything?
We had a Christmas party, but I'm weird about eating food that wasn't made by me, or my family. I feel like I'm taking from them, so I don't like it. The only thing I ate was a hockey puck of a biscuit (but it was good, considering that was how it was supposed to be) and that was because the guy who made them asked me to try them. Steve's cool, so I ate one and then made the rest of the people at my table eat one, too.
We get home and Rich (my stepfather) is like "oh, let's get McDonalds". I was happy, because I thought I was going to get something to eat. Well, Cody and Lacey (stepbrother and his girlfriend) opted to get it, which I had no problem with. It gave me more time to play Pokemon (only four badges and I've sunk 11 hours into that game). They didn't ask what I wanted, so I assumed they knew. I'm a fairly typical guy. I like my Big Mac and fry. I get it every time we get McDonalds (which is a lot...). So I just assumed they knew.
They get home, and have food for my little brother, them, and my stepfather. My mom had turned food down, but they hadn't even asked me.
Gah. Why am I ranting about food? Oh right! Because that's the only thing I can think about right now! 12 hours without food isn't a good thing for someone, you know!
Bah.
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Dec 24, 2013 15:06:45 GMT -5
Post by Quinn on Dec 24, 2013 15:06:45 GMT -5
This is one of the reasons why I hate Christmas around the house:
My mom threw a big fit about how we would stay Christmas day with her. We eventually told her that we would just stay the day with her, and now she's changed plans.
She wants us to stay until Thursday.
But we also have Christmas at my Dad's. It's not for her to take Christmas away from my father, is it?
No, it's not.
So now my sister is in the room crying because my mother called her the equivalent of a female dog and that she didn't even want to see us for Christmas. It's...infuriating. My mom shouldn't be taking Christmas away from my father.
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Deleted
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Jan 8, 2014 17:46:29 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2014 17:46:29 GMT -5
This is stupid. So effing stupid!
First my friend going on and on about her freaking "HAWT" boyfriend that's in LA and LA itself.
Then the bugs (stupid freaking bugs).
And now the mothereffing door.
I want to scream!
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Jan 8, 2014 18:03:56 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2014 18:03:56 GMT -5
The mop just fuc- fudging broke!
I really hate censoring words. It freaking does NOT get the point across.
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Jan 14, 2014 18:02:20 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2014 18:02:20 GMT -5
((Be warned, this is KINDA religious.))
So, there is this English assignment that we have to do. Write an essay or something. We all had to pick a subject that we want to write about, and one of my acquaintences wanted to write it about her religion and the misunderstandings about it.
(She's Muslim, and she is offended about people calling her religion the one that accepts terrorism.)
She was reading online police reports about beatings and deaths ... In which the victims are Paakistanian decent or Muslim.
Hate-crime on Muslims, because of the 9-11 terrorist attack, in which the terrorists "do it for Allah in the name of the Qur'an".
(Her words, not mine.)
She says that the Qur'an says that not one Muslim can't say anything bad about a person. So why would Allah let his people kill them AND themselves?
It's saddening, really, when people hate on others because a group of people had to go and give the nice people bad reps, when there are school and other public shootings happening right and left.
That screams terrorism to me.
Can't we just live and let live? Yeah, I'm supposed to tell the gospel, so is my acquaintance supposed to spread word of her religion. But I sit by my Muslim acquaintance and my Pagan acquaintance at a specific spot during lunch every. Single. Day! And we don't tear each other's throats out.
So why can't others do the same?
Can't we just go on our merry little way, say, "Good day," and not hate?
I guess not.
(I'm done.)
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