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Post by Ventia on May 7, 2021 7:23:56 GMT -5
It took a minute for Armin to notice Annie’s scent through his own anger spiked one. But as she made the car silent, to which he raised a eyebrow at, staring at her face as Annie turned to face him, her scent in the enclosed setting now burrowed into him. Making Armin straighten in his seat, his fingers gripping the wheel a bit tighter even as that sweet and fiery aroma filled Armin’s lungs, going straight down to his cock.
Armin held back a groan, Annie’s scent was close to driving him insane. Images of their times together, of this fucking scent spiking right before Annie dragged his ass out of that restaurant and pushed him into the trunk, having her way with him. When she was straddling him in the pool, long legs wrapped all over his and sliding up and down his body, this scent drifting around him in the wind. Or on the bed while she rode him. While she sucked him.
Armin was breathing greedily, sucking that scent in because there was no way they’d do such things after what happened in the mountain right? Even though he was pulsing with anger, his need for Annie was stronger, it danced around the anger, fueling it with the fact that Armin couldn’t touch her. He clenched his teeth. Why couldn’t he? Why did Armin have to be so damn nice all the time. Why couldn’t he just take her back there like he had wanted. Why had he let his worries stop him.
Armin glared at her, she was still watching him. Her scent still needy. Mouth opening then closing. Armin’s groan did escape that time, wanting those lips. Wanting all of Annie. She was his. Armin realized then that Annie had always been the one who initiated their lovemaking. Because Armin had been too scared to push her into anything she wasn’t ready for, but accepting everything once she showed him it was okay. That she wanted it. This scent...dammit this scent was feeling like all the permission Armin needed.
Then Annie spoke. For a split second, Armin did nothing, his eyes focusing on the road and the busy traffic of the afternoon and then his face deepened with bright red, flushing against his cheeks and nose, and the tips of his ears. His cock? Armin groaned, feeling it straining against his shorts at her words. It seemed that Armin loved the sound of being called Daddy and her long yes. Yes to Armin saying she was his? To knowing that he’d hunt her down if she ever left him? Then make her his all over again. Armin snapped his eyes at her, his still brilliantly blue, and smiled at her. Baring his teeth a little, giving her the look she oh so loved.
At the upcoming red light, Armin turned and gave her his full attention. “That’s right Kitten.” Armin reached over, brushed his fingers against her face until he cupped her nape. Armin brought Annie’s face closer to his, making her bend forward and roughly took her lips. Armin didn’t want for her permission but took what was his. Armin greedily kissed her, tasting her with his tongue, he bit on her lower lip, making her gasp with pain or desire Armin didn’t know at that moment and took her mouth. Moving his head sideways and raging war with her tongue until Annie was kissing him back, until the car behind him beeped two times to get him moving.
Armin pulled back, wiped his thumb against her now swollen lips, and smiled contently. “Mine.” Armin growled, his hand moving down to cup her knee, and then turning back to the road. Driving the rest of the way home without comment, his fingers greedily rubbing at her bare skin.
Armin parked at the garage area and before Annie could escape, he tightened his grip on her knee. “Where do you think you’re going?” Armin asked, his voice still angry, his scent still needy, his eyes still all blue.
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Paradis
May 7, 2021 13:24:15 GMT -5
Post by Decoii on May 7, 2021 13:24:15 GMT -5
Annie gaped at him, brows furrowing. His reaction to her words was unexpected, so was the depth of the red that consumed his cheeks and pretty little nose. She had meant her words sarcastically, meant to have mocked his bossiness through them. Not meant to make him groan and blush. She was still staring, trying to figure out what it was about her words that could make him react that way. She replayed it in her head, realizing that they hadn't even made it out of her lips the way she intended, it sounded breathless, airy, flirtatious even.
Then he looked at her, eyes still as blue as the sky, and gave her that look in return. It was Annie's turn to groan now and with a huff, she sat back in her seat and crossed her arms. She was twitching a lot and it wasn't until she took a deep breath that she got a whiff of her own arousal, Armin's own scent building and intensifying around hers. She had been so busy with him to realize that she wasn't just slightly turned on by his aggression and the purity of his eyes, she was practically dripping in need.
Biting her nails, she bit down a groan, and as the car came to a red light, she snuck him another look, letting out a sound of surprise because his eyes had already been glued on her. She rolled her eyes at his pet name, bit her bottom lip when he gently stroked her face, and hissed at the tight grip he took of her nape. Hands shooting up to cover his, this was her weak spot and she felt the need to protect it, but she wasn't blind to the way her nipples ached in her bra, enjoying it.
Annie stared at him with wide eyes, his actions unpredictable at this point, and she yelped again, when he suddenly pulled her closer to him and started assaulting her lips. She struggled to keep herself from responding to his affection, but it took no time for her own tongue to respond to him, to curl and aggressively rub against his lips, his own tongue. she was practically purring now, hands sliding from his grip to rub up his arm and wrap around his neck, giving a light squeeze before she gasped and pulled away, the honking making her come to an abrupt halt as she realized what she was doing.
She was uncomfortably wet now, she wasn't even going to try to deny to herself just how much he was affecting her. She pressed her body against her seat roughly, pressing her fingers into her thighs tightly as she forced herself to stay put. As she told herself that this couldn't happen, that this wasn't happening. As much as she loved Armin, as much as she wanted him, and as much as she wanted to never look away from those sea blue eyes- she wasn't stupid. This was a very dangerous game she was playing. Inside of him lived those two Titan's, beasts she couldn't face at the moment, and doing this was taunting. If she gave into this and she looked into his eyes to see any shade of gold and black she knew she'd be crushed.
She was being stupid and he was being once again, unreasonable.
But she liked the way he called her his. She liked the way his hands felt hot and heavy against her knees and how her back arched, wanting more. She was practically drenched at this point and she wondered if her wetness could be seen or felt through the two layers of fabric between her legs. The longer he drove, the lesser of a resolve she had to end this. The harder it was for her to pretend she wasn't affected and eventually, she sunk into her seat, breathing hard and unevenly. Eyes hooded and skin flushed. She was a throbbing hot mess but she managed to snap out of it when she started reaching for his hand, wanting to redirect his grip to her core.
Instead, she stood up straighter and started rolling down the window to air out the car. Which made Armin frown at her and roll them back up, taking away her window rights and making her hiss with annoyance. Her annoyance dying down when they parked and she quickly reached for the door handle. "I'm-" She started, turning to glare at him but her eyes soften when they saw his. How long could he keep this up? "I should probably get my own room..." She said weakly, staring at him for a bit longer until she bit her lower lip and pryed herself from his grip. Annie stumbled out the car, her legs feeling weak as she walked across the lot towards the back entrance of the lobby.
She hesitated, stopping about ten feet from the car and turning around at him. She had no intentions of actually getting her own room. She promised to stay nights ago when she was at the beach and it was only fair that she kept at least one of her promises. Annie wanted him, she wanted Armin with his pure eyes and his anger. She wanted to explore this protective side of him because it was so attractive -so new- that she couldn't pass up the offer. But she knew this wasn't right, not with how they couldn't accept things, not with how she was rejecting a part of him that he couldn't let go. This wasn't fair to either of them.
But was she really willing to let this moment go? She wasn't sure. "I-I um... I-I forgot my money?" She said weakly.
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Paradis
May 7, 2021 16:26:35 GMT -5
Post by Ventia on May 7, 2021 16:26:35 GMT -5
Armin narrowed his eyes at her, at even the mentioning of a new room. He knew he had mentioned it as well but now that they were back here at the resort and the possibility of Annie not staying in the same place as him, well that was a resounding no. Armin groaned when Annie escaped from the car, grabbing his things and going after her and pausing when Annie stopped. He smiled at her words, the mild desperation easing a bit and Armin strolled forward, grabbing Annie’s hand and forcibly entwining their fingers together.
“Good. We wouldn’t want to be making a scene now would we?” Armin smiled sweetly at her, Annie’s scent still driving him insane. It had intensified after his kiss and Armin just knew Annie was wet for him. He could smell it. It was why he had locked the windows back up, wanting to savor such a scent, Annie’s.
“Oh what kind of scene you ask?” Armin mused out loud, “throwing you over my shoulder and ignoring all your screams as I bring you back to where you belong, yes that’s right, by my side.” Armin brought their entwined hands to his lips, kissing teasingly against her bare wrist. Feeling her heartbeat against his lips. “We can still do it, if you want. Me throwing you over my shoulder that is.”
But Armin didn’t and pulled her along, into that little cafe she had forced him to go in a few hours and this time Armin was the one ordering, ignoring the glances of the female workers and glancing at Annie. Seeing if she’d still be jealous over such a thing. His hand still stubbornly holding hers. With his free hand he got out his wallet and paid. Then ordered them to put it in bags so he could hold it. Gave Annie her sweet tea, which she tried to take with their joined hands. Armin didn’t let her and finally she took it with her free one. Armin grabbed the bags and moved Annie out of the cafe, pulling her along down the deck, down the ramp until they were back at their cabin.
Armin let her go then, opening the door for her and waiting till she entered. He had ordered a few burgers and fries, took his boots off by the door and made his way into the living room. Putting the food down and searching the house for those bottles he had bought the first night. Armin found them on the kitchen counter and made himself a glass, feeling the need to drink after everything that had happen.
He was still angry, still needy for Annie, still hurt for her previous rejection, still everything. Armin didn’t know how to make it better. Didn’t know if he could or if Annie would let him. It was obvious that Annie couldn’t deal with his Titans. Too much had happened to her because of them. Armin couldn’t blame her, he understood it. They had fucked with her whole life. Asking her to put that all aside? She couldn’t. Especially not so soon.
Armin would have to give her some time. Time to get her thoughts in order. Time to get to know them all over again. Armin hoped with time, prayed even, that Annie would find a way to accept them. Even if it was a little bit. Armin would accept it. The Beast was still raging, still felt betrayed. The Wolf still being silent. Armin still cutting them off, needing them out of his eyes and away from Annie. For her. In a way, Armin felt like he was betraying them. But Armin pushed that care away, they could handle it. Handle a little alone time.
While Armin had his alone time with Annie. She needed him. Not them. Armin would show her that he could be there for her.
Armin bought the drink to his lips finally, taking a mouthful and swallowing quickly, enjoying the burn. He turned around, bringing the bottle with him to the couch, grabbing the bags of food along the way. Armin sat, put the food next to him, a barrier between him and Annie if she joined him on the couch, and started to dig into it for the food. Putting his glass on the table next to him and unwrapping the burger.
“You’re not going to eat?” Armin asked, trying his best to keep his needs in check. Armin reached for the remote and turned the TV on, looking for a movie or series that was interesting enough.
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Paradis
May 7, 2021 17:26:06 GMT -5
Post by Decoii on May 7, 2021 17:26:06 GMT -5
"You wouldn't." She said dryly, giving Armin a look. She would cause a scene if she wanted too, kick his ass for even having suggested such a thing. But instead, she allowed him to kiss her wrist, whimpering at what that did to her. She was trying to stay strong against her needy lust, trying to keep her mind clear, to do the right thing. But he was so infuriatingly himself. She could already feel the need to want to beg for him to stop being such an asshole. The need to either touch herself or take a very cold shower.
She let out a soft noise of complaint, but followed after him regardless. Entering the café she did feel uncomfortable. Because Annie was still so fucking wet and his cock was still making a small tent in the front of his pants. Luckily the counter kept it from showing too much, unluckily, one of the waitresses had her eyes glued on him a bit too much for Annie's liking, making her frown, and when the female's eyes slipped down Annie swore she was going to turn into a Titan and eat her. She almost did, if it wasn't for Armin grabbing her attention with her drink.
She was mad now, so she tried grabbing it with their intertwined hands but frowned when he wouldn't let her. Eventually, not to cause a scene, she grabbed her damn drink. Turning with Armin to leave the café. The women had the audacity to pause and wish Armin a good day, tray full of food and drinks in her hand. She waited for him to pass, eyes dipping to look at his shoulders and ass and Annie decided then, she would really like to cause a scene.
Stepping behind Armin, as if to make room for him to go through the door, she leaned back and kicked her leg roughly backwards. Connecting with the back of the girls knee, causing her and the platter to go flying towards the floor. She rushed out the door behind Armin, glancing at him and grinning when he didn't seem to notice what she did. But she was walking a bit faster now, and didn't hesitate to get into their room.
Once inside, it was a whole different scenario.
She was once again painfully aware of how wet she was, how tight her pants felt and in turn, how swollen and tender both her nipples and core felt. With a groan, she moved towards the opposite end of the couch, sinking in and bringing her knees up. She looked at the bottle with a frown, picking it up before bringing it to her lips, taking big needy gulps that went straight to her head. She hadn't drank anything or eaten in hours and the sun was going down. Days had past since they slept.
She let out a hiss, putting the bottle down and groaning at the sudden swooshiness (I really don't care that that's not a word) in her head. She leaned forward to glance at Armin as he looked at the television, sighing. "I don't know what you're doing... But thank you... for being able to be just you right now, for being here for me... I know it's still unfair.. But thank you."
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Post by Ventia on May 8, 2021 0:02:09 GMT -5
((Swooshiness should def be a word ) “Wouldn’t I?” Armin returned her look, almost challenging Annie to do just that. Just so that Armin could throw her over his shoulder and have his hands all over her ass and thighs. Had Armin known what Annie had done in the little cafe, he would have laughed and felt a bit more centered, feeling better that Annie would act out and show the others that Armin was hers to ogle at. Instead he had just seen her grinning mischievously at him which brought up a few questions and made him smile back in return. Armin liked seeing Annie happy despite the reasonings. He gave her a look when she stoled his bottle but didn’t comment. Taking a bite of his burger and then another before glancing back at Annie, seeing her still chugging the damn liquids down. He swallowed. “Easy there sweetie.” Armin worried, reaching over to pluck the bottle from her fingers and putting it with a bit of resistance out of reach on the table next to him. He took his cup and took another mouthful, pausing at Annie’s words. Armin licked his lips, placing the cup back down and lowering his burger, bringing his gaze back to Annie’s. “You don’t have to thank me Annie, I’m doing this for my own selfish wishes. I just want to spend some time with you, without all the drama, without them, just us. We don’t have to do anything, we can just sit here and munch on food and watch shows all night. Fall asleep on the couch or whatever. I’m not asking for anything besides your company.” Armin gave Annie a gentle smile and pulled out a peace offering of fries. “You should really eat Annie. Are you in the mood for anything? To watch,” Armin clarified, trying to ignore her still needy scent and his for that matter. He’s been trying to stop it but Armin couldn’t, his need for her still strong, the need to prove to her how great they were together, the need to prove to her that she was all his and how she loved being his. Armin cleared his throat, took another sip of his drink and gave her a look. “Food first, then the liquor.” Armin finished his burger and passed her the remote, giving up on picking a channel. Armin couldn’t even focus on the damn guide list, his thoughts all on Annie. Once she took it, Armin grabbed another platter of fries and put mayo on the side, dipping it in and munching on the thick fry. His mother liked eating it like this and it took to Armin. Armin closed his eyes, thinking of his mother, of how she had liked little Annie back then. How she would apologize to him for hours as he laid strapped in his father’s basement unmoving, shallow breathing, dried tears against his face, eyes distant and empty... Armin snapped his eyes open, pushing the ugly memory away, having forgotten it until now. Armin put the fries down, his appetite suddenly leaving him. He moved the food closer to Annie and reached for his drink. Finishing it and pouring himself another, this time leaving the bottle in the middle of the couch with the food. Armin swallowed the liquid, trying to get rid of the bad taste that had came with the new memory. Still hearing the echos of his mother’s silent sobs. “Annie.” Armin said abruptly, as if her name was a spell that could wash away all his problems. Armin turned to her, taking in her profile, her beautiful eyes...Armin sighed, relaxing into the comfy couch and feeling the memory sliding back to the dark corners of his mind. “Hi.” He said after a second, when she was giving him a look.
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Paradis
May 8, 2021 1:31:20 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Decoii on May 8, 2021 1:31:20 GMT -5
Annie smiled brightly, feeling at ease when he told her he just wanted to spend time with her. It made her heart feel lighter, there was less expectation this way. Even if her body craved something it shouldn't -especially with what they had just gone through- things would be fine like this. Armin only expected her to be herself, after all, and even if she wasn't the most pleasant of people, for him, she'd try to be. For him, she always wanted to be.
Annie let her legs fall down, reaching for the fries and bringing them to her mouth. She chewed thoughtfully before looking at him, rolling her eyes when he kept drinking despite telling her to eat first. She huffed, grabbing the controller and changing the television to some animated show, the television exploding with colors as the two dimensional characters screamed and fought in a blaze of glory. She turned down the volume, eyes glued to the scene for a minute as she decided if she wanted to stay on that station or find something else to watch. Shrugging, she placed the remote down.
"That's so counterproductive, you know? I mean, eating before drinking. If the goal is to feel the effect of the alcohol, you should drink first, not eat. That's why people drink anyway, right? To feel it? After a long stressful day of-" She paused when he called her name, turning to look at him with a curious glance before her face hardened, brows furrowing. Something had definitely just happened to him, she didn't know what, but it was written across his face and in the subtle way his smell changed.
"Hi?" She repeated after him as the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown. His eyes still vividly blue, but they held a sadness to them that almost turned them grey, tired.
On instinct, she reached for the food, moving the items and drink out of the way and onto the table before she slipped out of her spot on the couch and slid into his lap. She cupped his cheeks gently, as if not to hurt him, eyes studying his face, a hand moving up to pick at the strands that fell on his soft skin. She brought that hand down, cupping his cheeks and rubbing her thumb lightly against his skin. "Hey, something just happened. What was it?" She asked gently, not wanting to spook him.
The change in his demeanor was visible to her, but still subtle.
"Look..." She started, moving her hands down to cup his chin, bringing his attention to her, before sliding her hands to his shoulders, rubbing them lightly. She hesitated to continue, but did so anyway. "If this is about today... I'm sorry, okay? I know this has to be exhausting for you. Do you want to rest? I'll sleep on the couch and you can take the bed... I promise I won't just run away in the middle of the night..." But he wasn't saying anything, or reaching for her like he normally would and that worried her a lot.
"A-Armin?"
Was this because he was hiding the Titan's? He had mentioned that his Gorilla was raging but Armin had also acted rather normally, despite his dominant demeanor earlier... Are his Titan's fighting that hard to come out? Annie didn't know but she was worried. She didn't think his change could be from something else, so she chose to look at him in his brilliantly blue eyes, determined to end their alone time if it meant that Armin would be more at ease. It sucked, it made her heart hurt, and it didn't feel fair. But she knew it had to come to an end sometime. So she supposed that the quicker it happened, the less she would have to cry about having to let go later.
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Post by Ventia on May 9, 2021 9:29:18 GMT -5
((Hmmmmm I wonder what animated show screaming and fighting for glory hmmmmmm lol))
Armin gave Annie a weak smile, not being able to make a smart remark about the importance of eating before drinking. The last throbs of his mother’s memory still fresh in his mind. Armin had been a total mama’s boy, doing anything and everything for the woman who brought him into this world. It was because of her that Armin didn’t struggle to go back and find Annie after their fall. Well that and his inability to move but mostly because his mother begged him not to. To be silent and as he did so, the pain of all his injuries started to catch up with him. Teaching the six year old the brute definition of pain.
It was his mother that Armin screamed for, at the beginning of his father’s experiments. Asking her to save him, that he’d be a better son, that if she loved him she wouldn’t let Dad do this to him. It was his mother’s sobs coming from above that eventually made Armin go silent, her gut wrenching sounds hurting him more than the needles and drugs ever could. Armin became mute for a time, not saying a word as he lost himself in his fathers basement. Seeing everything but being detached from it all, his eyes becoming distant and empty as the weeks went on by. Months. Then years. His mother sobbing by his side every night, petting his hair and face, telling Armin how sorry she was, how brave he was, and so on. Some words Armin never even reached him from his isolated mind.
They had good times too, it’ll take Armin a couple hours after he was taken from the basement for him to rejoin life again. For his eyes to uncloud and become bright again, his mind already fracturing trying to protect him from the horrors of the basement, letting Armin enjoy bits of his childhood again. His mother tried her best to make it up for him, though at these moments, Armin had no clue as to why she was being overly nice and protective, but because he loved her and all the attention, Armin just took it in full and enjoyed everything. It was these moments that Armin remembered most, big meals with happy parents, walks with his mother, laying in her lap, having her read or sing to him, until he fell asleep in her embrace and woke up strapped back in the basement, confused and crying for her until he remembered it all again and his whines and pleas turned off.
Armin blinked, seeing Annie on his lap, her warm hands cupping his face, the feel of them felt just like his mother’s and Armin had to hold back a whine of desperation coming from his throat. He looked away from Annie’s prying eyes as he had looked away from his mother, not being able to look into such wonderful eyes that cared so much for him and yet all Armin could do was bring pain. “I’m okay.” The lie left his lips on auto, and Armin remembered those same words trying to reassure his mother only for her to sob harder. Blame herself more.
Armin swallowed hard, feeling the memories of his mother’s bursting forward, overwhelming him, seeing similarities between Annie and her so clear now. Both such strong women reduced to tears because of Armin. Blaming themselves when it was his fault. Always trying to protect him, to smooth him, to love him, even when Armin was undeserving of such efforts.
His name on Annie’s lips made Armin come back to look at her, her hands making quick work on his body as if to coax him to relax and to smooth him all in one. Armin’s own hands still laid limp by his sides, as if they were strapped down by invisible chains. Armin opened his mouth, his eyes catching in Annie’s endless skies and shook his head. His throat closing. “It’s not you. I’m sorry.” Armin flexed his arms, forcing them to move and they did enough to land against Annie’s thighs.
Armin bowed his head, staring down at his long fingers against her creamy flesh. He touched her gently, fingers barely whispering against her skin, suddenly feeling like he had no right to be touching her. If he did? Armin would just be condemning Annie to the same fate as his mother’s. Hunted alone with no one to protect her, being killed and screaming for her life as Marley took their time. While Armin was no where in sight. As if burned, Armin pulled his hands away from her, clenching them into fists and digging them into the couch.
“No.” Armin didn’t want to go rest. Knowing if he did leave her right now, the nightmarish memories would plague his mind, keeping him awake. And when Armin finally did fall asleep, he would fall into those nightmares, forced to relive them over and over again, until he woke either screaming or with his voice lost.
Armin worked his throat, trying to get it in working order and tried again. “I want to stay right here for a bit please.” Armin brought his face back up, bringing his eyes hesitantly to Annie’s and tried giving her another smile. “You should eat before you drink because you don’t want it to hurt the next day. Everyone knows that Annie.” The weight of Annie’s body, the warmth of her, her gentle touches all soothe Armin’s soul but her eyes...those worried, pain filled eyes, just kept the memories close.
“Memories Annie, it was memories. I wasn’t expecting it, came from the stupid mayo on fries, about my mother. I’m fine though, thank you for worrying about me. You don’t have to...do this.” Armin sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and even through everything that was happening, his lower body still managed to be happy in such a predicament with Annie pressed hard against him.
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Paradis
May 9, 2021 12:41:27 GMT -5
Post by Decoii on May 9, 2021 12:41:27 GMT -5
Annie was dead worried about Armin. The way his eyes clouded over, reminded her of cloudy days at the sea. She's never seen his eyes so dull, so full of pain, and despite her advances she worried that she was at fault. How could she not be? With everything that had happened these last couple of days. Even when he told her he was okay, even when he reassured her that his pains had nothing to do with her. Annie didn't stop trying to coax the worry from his tense shoulders and she didn't believe him all at the same time.
Especially when he pulled away as if she had burnt him. Despite that though, he insisted on staying, and Annie was conflicted on what she should be doing or not doing in her attempt to help him through what was going on. It wasn't until he spoke of his mother that she understood and backed off a little bit. "but I want to do this, Armin." She said with a worried frown. She did want to help him, but she didn't want to overwhelm him.
She could feel his excitement though, pressing hard against her thigh, and with one last look into his eyes she slipped off of his lap. Instead of moving far, she curled up next to him on the couch, pressing her side against his and laying her head against the side of his shoulder. she waited a couple of seconds before grabbing his hand, intertwining his fingers with her while placing them on her lap, running a soothing thumb against his knuckles as her eyes glanced down at the mayo.
Annie hadn't thought about his parents, she guessed she never had a reason too. She knew the wolf came from his father having learned that much during his stay in Marley. Magath hadn't been shy of who he was talking about in his excitement. The more she put the pieces together, the more she understood and learned. Knowing that Armin must have consumed the wolf Titan from his father. He seemed okay with the canine and so she never questioned how he felt about it.
The reminder of his time in Marley made her wonder if her father had been behind everything he had done, the wolf just a partner... Or if his wolf controlled his father, as she's seen happen over time with Titan's. Sometimes the host's just simply lost their fight of will when it came to the Titan's, she's seen it before- Titan's controlling their host's body and disregarding the fact that these people had a life before them. She really wondered where Armin's father fell in the equation with all of it.
Annie never had a mother, so she supposed it was easier for her to dismiss a women's role in the family. He had left Marley with both his parents and never talked about them. Annie had assumed he was fine, that at least his mother was fine. But the sadness that laid on his shoulders and in his eyes made her feel stupid for just assuming, now understanding that there was more to this, more to Armin, than she even knew.
She let out a small guilty sigh, working her thumb over the skin of his hand absentmindedly. Annie was suddenly feeling guilty with the way she was acting now that she knew about her father's death with more clarity of mind. He had gone through a lot, losing two parents was worst than one, right? But she was the one selfishly acting out. Selfishly hurting the two of them. Selfishly making everything about her and dismissing the thought that he had lost his father. No wonder he was so mad with her, the wolf was a constant reminder of his own sins but also a reminder of his father and she had so openly judged him and pointed her stupid fingers.
Despite her guilt, she did want to be there for him. The sun had long since settled down, the night was growing cool and long again. The girl looked down at their fingers, guilt heavy on her heart. Maybe they had just jumped into things too soon. Armin and Annie had similar experiences in life, similar pains, and maybe they just let these things force them together. Finding nostalgia from their childhood and trying to go back to those days. The easy days. Without taking into account that they've both changed and grown. Without bothering to learn more or find out about each other.
She didn't know. But the girl was suddenly doubting their relationship. The mate bond must be an obvious influencer to keep them craving more. Their wish to forget the past a drive that kept them moving forward. Kissing, touching, hurting each other with the promise of love. Was it love though? Or a bond, nostalgia, and the need to just be free from Marley's dark memories. A need to survive that made them feel as if they where the only ones in the world that would understand each other. That part was probably true, no one outside of Marley could possibly ever understand it, even if they tried.
These thoughts made her close her eyes. She felt exhausted. Her heart was hurting once again. Did Armin or Annie really even understood what it was to love someone? Not like family, not like the love of a parent, did they even understand what it all was supposed to really mean or where they just driven by their similarities and some stupid childhood promise? Annie vaguely realized she hadn't said anything, despite still trying to soothe him with her actions. She didn't realize that these new thoughts where weakening the bond between them even further.
She was the first to fall asleep.
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Paradis
May 10, 2021 1:00:21 GMT -5
Post by Ventia on May 10, 2021 1:00:21 GMT -5
Armin bit back his negative comment, his questioning pushing as Annie would say and just accepted Annie’s words. Even if Armin could feel the doubt behind them. Wondered if Annie really meant what she said.
Instead Armin found himself staring into her eyes, taking in her not so delicate facial features and the delicate ones. Armin often found himself wondering how Annie Leonhart could look both soft and hard at the same time. Most people would say it was her nose, it being a little bigger than most and curved, but in Armin eyes, a nose was a nose and hers was as cute as the rest of them. No Armin found it had everything to do with Annie’s eyes. They were so expressive. They could be as cold as ice, sharp with a murderous intent, or soft with warmth blooming within, like blue skies or when a snowflake would fall and melt in your hand. Her expressions and emotions behind them changed Annie’s whole face, and Armin already knew that he would never grow tired of watching Annie’s lovely face. If he had the chance.
The worry in her eyes right now made Annie look soft, she wasn’t clenching her jaw either which only added to the tender look she was giving him. There was a unspoken pain still lingering behind those eyes and it hurt Armin, knowing that most of that pain had to do with him. With the Titans battling in his body. With the fact that Armin had abandon Annie all those years ago.
Armin didn’t say anything, letting Annie move away from him, pleasantly surprised at how she decided to curl up by his side. Her warmth still pressing comforting into his cold body. Armin let out the breath he was holding, sighing when Annie took his hand and held it, her soft caresses pulling his heart like strings on a violin. Armin wished he could stay here forever, having Annie by his side and everything that came with her. Annie was a hell of a woman and despite the package she came with, it would be all worth it if it led to someone having her.
But Armin could feel her going away, even as Annie still stayed cuddled against his side, still stroking his hand, Armin could feel Annie distancing herself. Could feel the bond growing weaker, giving only tidbits of information on what Annie was currently thinking of. Tidbits or not, Armin could feel the intent. Could feel her doubting if they even loved each other.
Armin stared hard at the cabin before him, the tv still playing that animation and being the only light in the room. The flashing white lights creating darker shadows that felt like they were closing in on the pair. Armin glanced down at Annie, she was so silent but still awake, still thinking those heart wrenching thoughts. Still doubting him. Herself. Them. Everything.
Armin squeezed her hand gently, rubbing his fingers against hers and feeling like his whole world was crashing down on him. Using his free hand, he brought the drink to his lips and Armin drank. He had to refill it and did so, not needing to move so much since everything was still close. Armin didn’t want to move and have Annie leave him. Didn’t want her going even though it might just do her good.
Have a normal boyfriend. Armin gritted his teeth, thinking of that Hoover guy, it probably hadn’t worked out because Annie was still deep in Marley but now she could very well do better this time. She could find that boy and take his hand without worrying about any monsters hiding within his eyes. Annie wouldn’t have to keep seeing her past every time she looked at his face. She could start anew, fresh with a clean break, no demons or devils in her midst. Just Annie and a boy. No other souls. Just them. Armin could see it working. Could even see Annie being happy, happy all the time and crying? Rarely. When she was happy possibly.
Armin stared at Annie who by now had fallen asleep, she didn’t look peaceful she looked troubled. Her brow was frown, her lips pulled back into a thin line, her eyes moving behind her eyes, and shaking very slightly. Was it because of Armin? Maybe. Her body couldn’t even relax being next to him, knowing that the Titans that ruined her life were touching her skin, entering her mind and giving life to the nightmares that plagued her.
She would be peaceful in the arms of another, her body finally relaxing into a warm embrace. Armin tighteed his hold on the cup and bent forward, gently and hesitantly brushing his lips against her temple, wishing that he could take every nightmare, every hurtful moment, every bad memory, into himself and away from his Annie. Armin wished he could let her go. Wasn’t that what love was?
To want the one you loved to be happy even if it wasn’t with you? Armin wanted that so much, wanted her to be happy, wanted to be part of that happiness but that was selfish and was love selfish? It wasn’t. It shouldn’t be. Armin had claimed he would hunt her down and make her his, and in a lot of ways Armin still felt that urge. But that wasn’t right. That would never fix this situation. That would never make her his. Never make Annie love him.
But she couldn’t love him. Armin pulled back his lips, the frown was still there and it tore into him, showing Armin that his touch couldn’t smooth her demons. Her pain. She couldn’t love the beings inside of him and therefore Annie couldn’t love Armin. It was so plain what Armin had to do. He had to let Annie go. Maybe she’d come back to him. Didn’t true love always come back? He had to give her time. Time to decide. Without him always hovering around her. Maybe even without the bond.
Armin would have to cut himself completely from her, so that Annie could make her decisions without him fucking it up. And yet? Armin still hurt and hated the thought of cutting all ties with Annie. Of the bond breaking completely, each little snap felt like a piece of Armin was dying. Despite his earlier claim of making another and another in its place, Armin felt like he had no right. Maybe Annie would finally be free, from Marley, from Armin, maybe it would be for the best if they just went their separate ways.
These kind of thoughts raced in his mind, the night dragging on, Armin occasionally drinking from his glass, staring at Annie’s face in the flickering tv lights, digging himself deeper and deeper into his grave, into a life without her, into a world where Annie Leonhart wouldn’t be by Armin Alert’s side but by a normal man’s, a safer man, a better man. A man who wouldn’t remind her all the time of the hard life Annie had to live. A man that could soothe her to sleep, chase away her nightmares and give her a life where the past was just a bad memory. Armin with his Titans could never be such a man even if he craved to be.
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Paradis
May 10, 2021 1:01:30 GMT -5
Post by Decoii on May 10, 2021 1:01:30 GMT -5
The five stages of grief, as the infomercial had so plainly put it, could explain what Annie was going through. She had settled down on the sofa once the spell between Armin and her seemed to break, making them both retreat to their own corners of the hotel room to deal with their own issues. Issues that had been clear they couldn't deal with together. Mainly because of her inability to accept the spirits that lived inside of him. The beings that had been at the center of her most recent heartbreak, the ones responsible for a lot of the horrible things that she went through. Things that she simply couldn't forgive and forget.
The death of her father, how the beast had been the one to watch over her. Sure, it had been instructed by Magath, a man they simply couldn't disobey, but she remembered how he dragged her father to her lap. How he'd joked, listened as she cried for help and did nothing. How he laughed. She had forgiven him before, even knowing that he'd killed so many innocent women because of his lust for her, even after he had tried killing her. But something about the way he had dragged her father had shattered her heart. When it came to her father, she was never able to forgive those that had caused him harm. Not even herself.
The wolf on the other hand was an issue all on itself. She hated that he was at the center of the drug and cannibalism development within Marley. He was at the core of the reason why she had become what she had become, what all the Titan's had become, including his host- Armin Arlert. She hated that she'd dismissed the wolf's wrongdoing in the past, but knowing what Armin had to go through to find her in Marley just became unforgivable to her. The wolf knew about everything! Marley, the Titan's, Armin's father. Yet he had sat silently, observing through the eyes of the young boy he could have defended with that knowledge. Saying nothing as Armin went through countless struggles- struggles he hadn't even gotten over because how could he? He was Armin. Sweet, innocent Armin. Who was forced to kill selfishly because of his own ignorance. Sins that the wolf could have easily -oh so easily- made him not commit.
But at the core to all of her feelings, was the death of her father. The only person she had growing up in her isolation. The man who had been there through countless hours as she tried recovering from a fall that had left her immobile. the same man who had turned his love into something harsh, demanding hours upon hours of rough training. Yelling at her to get stronger, to try harder, telling her of all her faults. Beating and beating into her a senseless rage that had made Annie turn against him- blinded by emotions she still couldn't identify to this day.
The pride and happiness he had come back home with when he found out he would never be able to properly walk again became a sort of pillar for Annie. She had wanted nothing more than to make him as happy as he had been before her accident. Nothing more than to do everything he asked of her, including becoming a Titan.
"Even if the entire world ends up hating you... Just know that your dad is always on your side... So promise me... That you'll come back..."
Those had been his last words to her. When she was taken to become a Titan, like he had asked, she thought he would finally be happy with her. Instead he hugged her and begged for her to one day forgive him, then he told her those words, words she hadn't understood at the time. She hadn't understood him for many years. Just thinking that he must have drank too much. Even then, while she was in New Dawn as a spy, she craved to come back to him, because that's what he wanted from her. She didn't care if the world hated her, even in New Dawn she was rather aloof, so none of it really mattered to her and she had dismissed him.
Until she had killed Marco and Jean.
That was the first time she had cared about something other than her mission from Marley. She was guilty and Armin had taken her in to rest at a hotel and she discovered that she had in fact cared about something else this whole time- she cared about him. About Armin Arlert. Annie only had to figure it out after she killed his best friends. Then, all of a sudden, she did understand the weight of the world on her shoulders because her world was small. It consisted of the two boy's death, Armin's pain, and her fathers hatred. She knew Armin would end up hating her the moment he found out, and she ran back to her father. But she was too late by then. She hadn't made it back in time, hadn't seen him, until the beast brought him already dead to the door steps of her prison cell.
So when the Infomercial talked about the stages of grief, she realized, she had never denied it... But all the same way, she did as well. She knew her father had died, accepted it without a tear, because this was Marley and she would be so stupid to think otherwise. She felt stupid and shamed at the fact that she had honestly thought she could make it back to him. She felt weak for not making it back in time, for not having her plans in motion at the right time. She hated that she hadn't even been given the chance to see him or even cry about him, when he was dragged to her and everything became painfully obvious that his death hadn't even been her punishment. What came after was.
Annie had accepted his death too easily, but had broken her mind to bits so she could forget about it all at the same time.
Her stages of grief didn't add up to what was standard, because Annie just wasn't that simple. The second stage, anger, even came to her differently. She could never hold anger towards her father, not with what she had already done to him. So instead, she just became angry with everything and everyone. Granted, she hadn't understood why she had a reason to be angry but she was just... Mindlessly angry. She had taken it out countless times at the things nearest to her and unfortunately, that had been Armin. As the gentlemen on the television spoke, her mind drifted to all the times she had hurt him; Physically, emotionally, and even mentally.
Even the third stage, bargaining, hadn't been a clear part of her. Only that she had devoted herself to Marley and Magath if he promised not to hurt her father. Alas, he had to. To punish her. To make her pay for her sins and shortcoming. But this stage came before her father had been murdered and now, she was left to dwell in the most obvious of stages: Depression. Annie was depressed and it took some strangers in some fancy television show trying to sell her some pills for her to realize what she even felt.
Her body hurt as she shifted on the small couch but she kept herself from groaning, not wanting to wake up Armin in the other room. She reached for the controller and muted the television, no longer interested in what the people spoke about despite the fact that her eyes were glued to the closed captions, reading them. She was happy that Armin had let her settle on the small loveseat, knowing he would fare worse than her if he was the one on it. So she was content with this, even if her body ached.
It had been three days since she remembered what happened to her, three days since Armin and her had rejected each other.. Basically. She couldn't find it in herself to eat or move. Only walking to shut the curtain tight against the sunlight, allowing herself to be swallowed by darkness as she stared mindlessly at the television. Watching the same infomercials over and over again until her mind was too numb and she was able to fall asleep. Annie would order food every once in a while, only to feed Armin and make a show of having food by her side. They didn't talk, he was giving her space, but she could still feel his worry.
She often woke from one nightmare or another, drenched in sweat. Still, she couldn't find it in herself to get up from her spot on the couch. She only showered once in those three days, when she was starting to smell. But she skipped out on brushing her hair and traded her dirtied clothes for some sweats and a hoodie she kept over her head. Three more days passed and nothing changed much, she was still rotting away on that couch, not wanting to do anything else, or even eat or drink.
One night, while Armin was in his room, she made it outside to look at the sea. She often thought that his eyes looked like the sea, her own like the crystal clear sky. She liked those thoughts because Armin's eyes did hold such a power. To look as calm as the gentle waves, or as raging as the sea in a storm. She didn't understand why she couldn't go to him, why she wouldn't allow herself to go. She couldn't understand her reasoning to push him away when she had promised that they could work through this. But it felt too late to go back to him now, too late to ask for help and forgiveness. She knew that was stupid too, but she just couldn't bring herself to face him.
So she faced the sea.
Seeing him through the depth of it's blue. Feeling sadness when she saw the shadowy black and remembered the beast, feeling remorse when she saw the moon shining down on the water and remembered the wolf. Everyone was so guilty. even herself, but at the same time... Any sins committed while under the thumb of Marley felt like they didn't count. Marley did things to people... It wasn't fair to judge them by this. She knew this... Even so, she continued to judge herself for it all. With a step, she fell off the terrace and down at least 50 feet before she hit the water.
Annie didn't know why she did it, but as soon as she had done it, she regretted it. The fall made her lose her breath, the coldness of the water, and how she frantically searched for the water line hurt her muscles and they cramped on her. She wasn't a good swimmer and struggled to make it to shore. By then, she could barely keep herself awake but managed to make it back to the cabin, circling their home and laying out on one of the lounge chairs outside, covering herself with a towel that sat nearby.
She stayed there until the sun poked out from the clouds, then made it back to her couch, where she stayed glued to the television for the rest of the day. At night though, she was restless. Something had snapped into place in her mind when she fell into the water, she didn't know what it was, but all of a sudden she just didn't want to do this anymore to herself. She couldn't continue to do this anymore. So when she went to the bathroom, she didn't just pretend to shower, she actually put effort into it. Cleaning her hair, her nails, her ears, her body. She brushed her teeth and passed lotion on her dried skin. Tried to comb out her hair but decided to cut the knots out instead, when she couldn't pry them down her locks any further.
Annie must have chopped off at least four inches of hair by the time she was done. Hours passing by before she came out of the bathroom. She felt like she was being impulsive when she dressed in a shirt that belonged to Armin. Wearing only underwear and a pair of socks with it. She toyed with the ribbon in her hand as her mind worked up a plan. Late at night, Armin got up to leave the hut. It was then that she decided to grab his arm and push his front against the wall. "Please don't move." She said weakly, leaning up to wrap the red silk ribbon of one of her robes around his eyes, tying it in place behind his head. So he wouldn't be able to look at her, so she wouldn't be able to see his mixed colored eyes.
It was stupid, but it was the best she had. "I just... I just need five minutes." She told him, sliding her hands under his shirt and wrapping them around him while she laid her head on his back, breathing him in hungrily. Annie felt like she was going to die of loneliness. Her stupid actions having scared her and she couldn't even begin to think of what Armin might feel if she would have died like that. He was her entire world now and her father was no longer out there waiting for her. The best she could do was not make her world hate her like he predicted it would. Even then, Annie was ready to be rejected. She felt it in her head, in the dread that formed when she touched him. He was going to reject her advances and it was going to hurt even more than she could possibly understand.
Even if he pulled away now though, this was enough for her.
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Paradis
May 10, 2021 1:41:45 GMT -5
Post by Ventia on May 10, 2021 1:41:45 GMT -5
Armin had told himself that he was going to give Annie space. It sounded so easy in his mind almost a week ago, the last time he had touched her. As he sat next to her, basically unmoving as to not wake her, only shifting his arm every now and then to drink down the whiskey as his mind race with thoughts, thoughts of how Annie would be better of without him. He had stayed there, tired and yet not tired, watching her face, still looking so troubled, until Annie woke. Moved away from him with startled eyes. Armin couldn’t even muster a smile, just got up, the bottle finished, and made his way into the bedroom, sinking face first into the bed and finally closing his eyes. Sleep taking him easily and the nightmares both of his past and of a future without Annie eating away at his soul.
It was worse when Armin woke up, seeing Annie on the couch, staring straight at the Tv, avoiding all eye contact. Armin had begun to walk towards her but stopped at the flinch, his body going cold and his heart hammering. The Titans screaming. Well the Beast was, the Wolf stayed silent. In some ways, it was worse than the angry ape. Armin left the keys to the car on the table in case Annie felt like driving off somewhere and headed out the door, giving her the space he had deemed was necessary.
Running the hour it took to get to the mountain and then staying there for hours, letting out steam and his Titan’s frustrations, laughing ironically at how Armin was the one now beating at a tree. Trees was more like it. Armin would stay there until the middle of the night, walking back, watching the ocean as he moved, drenched in sweat, his feet tired, his knuckles busted, his mood sour, his Beast still angry and hurt, his Wolf still indifferent and silent. His mind still on Annie. A little spark of hope would come as Armin made his way up the ramp, towards the very last cabin, their cabin, hoping that Annie would be ready or missing him, or even meeting his gaze again. But no. Eyes still straight on the tv, looking as if she hadn’t moved a muscle.
And yet? Armin was just glad that she was there. That she hadn’t left. And those thoughts just made Armin hate himself more, for his selfishness. For his greed. For his desires of Annie staying by his side. Even if Armin had already convinced himself that she would be better off.
The days dragged on and Armin tried to stay in the cabin with her, going out to the deck sometimes, to the pool, even sitting by the table in the living room, until the minutes started to stretch on by, the silence suffocating Armin, the sounds of the tv becoming like a horrible lullaby. After twenty or so minutes Armin had to leave. Get out of there before he blew it. Before he broke down and cried or screamed or told Annie all his thoughts of how she should just leave him and get a normal man in her life. Leaving because he was still so selfish and didn’t want those words to be spoken aloud. Didn’t want the seed to be planted in her pretty little head and definitely didn’t want Annie walking out of his life. Of his future.
Instead Armin lost himself to his pain, withdrawing into himself, into his Titans, digging for answers and paying the price for it alone in the mountains, his body trying to kill himself, dragging his body, crawling towards the waterfall or the ocean, until it subsided. Sometimes staying the night there, or two, shifting into his Wolf and curling into a ball, hidden deep in the trees and earth, hunting for food and even scaring some locals and tourists. Then rampaging against trees with his Beast, shifting forms one after the other, sometimes a mix, until Armin craved Annie so much that he’d howl and roar into the skies, day and night, and eventually make his way back towards her.
Armin had been gone for a day now, two days before that, had come in the late afternoon and had showered, then passed out on the bed. She hadn’t used it and Armin couldn’t fight with her about the issue of the bed. Making full use of it, even though all it gave him was nightmares. He woke up late, the sky dark, and glanced out in the living room, as Armin always done, seeing Annie in her spot on the couch.
Armin got up, was already dressed for the next night or so, and was walking barefoot out of the bedroom, trying to escape from her. He reached the door was about to put his shoes on when Annie’s hand on his arm stopped him. Armin’s head swirled, her touch feeling like it was burning him from how long it’s been, her scent suddenly filling his lungs, her voice sounding loud despite her soft tones. After almost a week long, this felt like too much. His throat couldn’t even work, Armin had barely spoken for this whole week, matter of fact, had he even spoken?
Yet Armin didn’t move as Annie had asked, pressing his forehead into the wall, trying to breathe nornally even as his heart began to thunder. Even as her soft fingers slipped a blindfold over his eyes, robbing Armin of his sight of her. Or maybe hiding the colors of his Titans? It hurt. Armin clenched his jaw and nodded for Annie, he’d give her all the five minutes she needed. He give her anything. Everything. Even nothing if that’s what she decided.
Armin could have swore at the feel of her palms and fingers sliding under his shirt, touching his bare skin, holding him, hearing Annie breathing his scent, squeezing him...Armin started to tremble slightly and brought his hands up, touching the sides of her arms over his shirt so that he still wouldn’t be touching her, wouldn’t be interfering with what Annie had planned, with her thoughts.
Armin licked his lips, trying to clear his throat, but couldn’t find any words to say. Her warmth surrounded him now and Armin could have fallen to his knees in grief for it being so long and relief to finally be feeling Annie again. His voice was hoarse but clear.
“I’m all yours.”
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Paradis
May 10, 2021 12:20:14 GMT -5
Post by Decoii on May 10, 2021 12:20:14 GMT -5
"Are you?" Annie said almost instantly, "All mine I mean." She added, sliding a hand up slowly so she could rest it over his heart. She could feel it pounding hard and unsteadily behind his breastbone. She was indulging herself, she really was. After her suicide failure -she didn't know what to call her actions, only knew they could have led to her death even if she hadn't intended to actually kill herself- she felt even more lonely than before. The fact that Armin hadn't been home at that time only triggered her to realize that he was just never home anymore.
What was the point of asking her to stay if he himself ran away at every chance he got? Annie was just... Depressed. She didn't know how to deal with these feelings, no surprise there, because she didn't really know how to deal with any set of feelings. Marley and her father's training had to do with that. They beat out every other feeling, everything that made them human, until there was only loyalty and discipline left. So it really was no surprise that Annie didn't know how to deal with herself. It was no surprise that she hung on to everything that was meant to help her and dragged it down with her instead.
That included Armin.
She was trembling, despite his radiating warmth. She hated herself for not giving him the space he was looking for outside the walls of the cabin. It was the only thing that made sense, that he was running away from her now. She hated that. There really was no point in her trying to keep her promise of staying if he kept running away from her. He always looked like shit when he came back, smelling of sweat and blood. Annie hated herself for everything she was putting him through. That included this hug, the blindfold.
She had thought it was a brilliant idea at first, a way for her to face her demons. But her demons lived inside of Armin and she didn't want to avoid him any longer. "I'm so sorry." She spat out after moments of silence, pulling away in the realization that this was probably hurting him. "I had no right to do that." She whispered, moving her hands up to take off his blindfold before rushing back to her couch. Putting distance between them before finding herself brave enough to ask the obvious question. "Armin, would you like me to leave?"
He was always leaving, she must make him feel uncomfortable. It was the only thing that made sense at the moment, even if her heart dropped heavily and her hands started to shake.
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Paradis
May 10, 2021 15:59:05 GMT -5
Post by Ventia on May 10, 2021 15:59:05 GMT -5
Armin nodded slightly at her question, knowing without doubt that yes he was hers. He wanted to clarify it again but felt like he shouldn’t. That his words were just influencing her, that right now the best thing for Armin was to be quiet.
He closed his eyes, clenching them as he did his fists, at the feel of Annie’s hand against his chest, her heat and the slight tingles burning a brand into his very soul. Armin missed her touch so badly, feeling like it was longer than just a week. Wondering how he’d survive if he had went longer without her.
But then it was all gone and she was apologizing again, the blindfold slipping from his eyes, Armin catching a sight of the red silk, the same one he had put over her shoulders all those nights ago. It had felt like forever ago. Armin had made the biggest mistake of his life by asking her to go on a adventure with him. He should have wrestled her into the bed, snuggled close to her and ignored all the warnings of her Titan or lack of. But no. Armin had to fuck it up just like he did everything in his life. Even now, Armin knew he was fucking up. Leaving the house all the time. Letting the days pass on by, letting the situation grow worse, the silence deepening, the bond ripping into mere shreds, everything. And yet? Armin couldn’t stop himself. Feeling like anything he did would only influence Annie’s mind. Feeling like he was forcing her to stay.
And now? She was asking that question. The one Armin dreaded to hear. To say aloud. It was like the seed had already planted itself into Annie’s mind without Armin saying a word.
Armin wanted to say no. To beg Annie to stay. To try and fix them, to actually try and not ignore their problems. Not to run away because it was getting too much too fast. But was that right of him? Hadn’t Armin convinced himself that Annie would be better off with a normal guy? A normal life. Better without seeing his face every morning and his eyes? Being reminded of what his Titans did to her. The pain and misery of her life because of them? Armin wanted her happy, loved her so much that that’s all he wanted. Even if it didn’t include himself anymore.
Armin turned, finally bringing his gaze to hers, letting his Titans show fiercely into his eyes, the gold and black burning along with the sea blue. He walked up to her, finally barging in into her space of the couch. Where he had been too scared to tread on before. But since Annie had approached him first, Armin felt it was only right. Feeling like this would be the last that he saw of her.
Armin stared down at her until Annie finally looked him in the eye. Until he saw the reaction she had, the bad reaction, to the sight of his eyes. To the colors of his Titans. To Armin. Armin gritted his teeth, digging his hand into his pockets and clenching the metals. Grasping at his resolve, at what Armin knew he had to do. Not for him. It would only kill him. But for Annie. For his sweet Annie.
“Is that your decision?” Armin got out, staring hard down at her. Needing to or else she’d see the pain lurking in his eyes, in his voice, in his entire body. “I want you happy. That’s all I’ve wanted. If leaving will do that...Then go. Live your life without looking back Leonhart because there’s nothing for you here.” Nothing that would make you happy. All I’ve done is cause you pain.
But Armin didn’t say that because why would he? They both knew it. Knew that they would always only give each other pain. Pain and sex. What kind of relationship was that? A toxic one. One that Annie didn’t deserve. She deserved everything and definitely not anymore pain.
Armin bit the inside of his cheek and stared at her, his mind etching every little detail of her face into his mind. Feeling another strip of the bond ripping, holding on now with just a lone withering strand. Armin wanted to say so much more but couldn’t, knowing if he did, he’d just ruin Annie’s life more.
((Hate hate hate this))
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Paradis
May 10, 2021 17:06:07 GMT -5
Post by Decoii on May 10, 2021 17:06:07 GMT -5
It wasn't fair.
Not when her wounds felt too fresh, not when his eyes shined with such an intensity it was honestly intimidating. How was she supposed to not look away? How was Annie supposed to not sink into the cushion of the sofa and face him like this. It wasn't fair. Annie sighed and curled up against herself, covering her face with her hands and laying her head on her knees. She wasn't trying to look at him right now, she felt so weak. But she listened, silently, until that last statement he made.
Gasping, her head shot up from her lap and she stared into his eyes, too shocked by what he had just said. "W-What?" But he was still looking down at her so harshly and it made her look away, down at the floor. "There's nothing for me here?" The words felt bitter, heavy. Annie wanted to cry. She gave him a chance to correct himself. But when he didn't, she curled up even further into herself. "Oh." She stated lightly, eyes watering.
Why wasn't he talking? Why wasn't he correcting himself? What did he even mean by that? Even though Annie didn't know it felt obvious to her, especially with the pain that was currently ripping through her heart. He didn't love her. There was nothing left for her with him, in this promise land, and he was just indirectly telling her that this was it. Her time was done and they both couldn't keep their promises.
He couldn't love her.
She was trembling again, but even though her eyes stung, she wasn't crying. Instead, she let out a small laugh. "Of course... Thank you." She said, getting up and walking towards the dryer. She started roughly getting dressed. Wearing her hoodie and one of her sweatpants. Without looking at him, she rushed to the door and put on her shoes, grabbing a small bag with her belongings (ID, money, cards) and leaving. Slamming the door behind her.
Annie started running, making it half way down the boardwalk before turning around to look at the cabin. Maybe she was being stupid, maybe he didn't mean it. "I love you Armin." She whispered into the air, eyes glued to the door. Any second he would come out, right? Tell her that she took it wrong. That he still loved her. That there was something still there for her. His love was still there for her. Annie knew that he didn't have to tell her that he didn't love her for her to understand what he was trying to say to her. But she really wished that she was wrong this one time.
Just this once.
But the longer she stood there, staring at the door without him coming out, the longer she felt like she was right. Armin Arlert didn't love her anymore. Just like that, in a matter of days, just like that her world hated her again. Except her father wasn't there waiting for her. There was no one, Annie realized. No one else. Not Armin. Not her father. There was no one out there. She was crying now as she turned away from the cabin and towards the lobby. She told the ladies that something happened back at home and she needed a ticket off the island. The whole process was pretty easy.
But Annie missed her first two flights. Waiting for Armin to come running into the small airport. Waiting for him to tell her she was wrong and that he loved her. Annie couldn't make this harder for him. She wanted to go back and beg him to give her a second chance but she knew she'd probably just fuck that up too. By the third flight, she ran out of excuses and climbed aboard. Still waiting for him to show up, even as the doors closed. But when they took off and she hadn't seen Armin...
... Well, Annie's heart completely shattered.
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