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Post by Ventia on Aug 21, 2022 1:30:52 GMT -5
( Decoii ) It had been a week since she's known and in that week this would be her third time in coming, Ventia hadn't meant to come this morning she swore she had been on her way to her office in the Pack House, but then she had kept driving instead of turning into the gated community, kept on going out of Pack Territory and headed straight for the breakfast restaurant that hugged the outskirts of the Neutral Town. It was pouring outside, her old mustang's engine still purred like the well loved car she was, the ac starting to fog out the windows. She didn't have a umbrella with her and though the entrance was only a few feet away, Ventia used the rain as a excuse to wait a minute to mentally prepare herself as she usually did even without the rain. Still today she felt more invisible, allowing herself to take longer to dwell within her emotions. Her eyes caught sight of herself in the rearview mirror, her silver eyes were bright and not dark calm pools of grey, she felt tensed but happy all the same. She had gotten better in the little time that Ivan had ventured back into her life, this was only the beginning of week three and already Ventia could see the old her back in place. The only indication of her almost losing her mind and life even if it kept going on, was the few strands of silver hair that weaved between the black and acted as part of her bangs now. Not minding the look, Ventia tucked said bangs behind one ear and turned back to face the storm. She would be quick, she always was, a coffee and a plate to eat, then some coffee to go before she left the establishment leaving behind a generous tip for her favorite waitress. She cut the engine, grabbed her black purse, and opened the door. Locking it with a press of her keys and a quick jog to one of the doors Ventia shook off the rain as best she could not wanting to get the floors wet before pushing open the door. There was no one to greet her at that moment but she knew the place to be a relaxed environment. Patting her face dry with the sleeve of her grey long-sleeved, Ventia walked slowly to where she had sat last two days ago, it was open and Ventia liked that it sat in the corner. She liked having her back to a wall. Feeling for something different than the pancake special she had the other day, Ventia reached for one of the menus in the middle of the table and began skimming through the contents looking for something that would fit her mood for today. After all, breakfast was essential to starting one's day out right or so she was told.
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Post by Decoii on Aug 24, 2022 20:58:17 GMT -5
Rose hadn't been feeling her very best this week. At first she thought that she was feeling under the weather because it'd been so shitty and humid lately. But despite which way she tried to drug herself up at night, or how hard she partied, she'd been having issues falling asleep.
That wasn't like her.
So her brain worked overtime to figure out what exactly was making her feel so conscious. It started a week ago, and as she rushed around the small restaurant, she felt the heaviness of lack of sleep seeping into her bones. She was slow today, but it was just a Tuesday so she wasn't going to make a big deal out of it.
It was slow too, the heavy rain probably stopping most of the foot traffic.
The bell on top of the door rang with the entrance of a new customer and Rose did her best to mask her loud yawn as she looked up at the door-
-and her stomach dropped.
She couldn't quite remember catching the lady's name. But she got the vague feeling that she knew her. She even had a feeling that her sudden issues sleeping and waking up in cold sweats had a lot to do with the silver eyed beauty who sat herself down in a corner table and was currently looking over the menu with vague interest.
At least she tipped good.
Getting up, Rose tied her apron around the waist of her dark jeans. Taking the time to adjust her notebook and pens before tucking in her while button up shirt. She slid her hands through her hair, swirling her curls in one finger and bringing it up into a messy bun that she held back with a clip.
Once she felt more presentable, although she didn't understand her need to do so, she grabbed a fresh glass of ice water and headed towards the lady in the corner.
She placed the cup down, along with a set of wrapped up utensils she kept in her apron. "It's nice to see you again, I'm your waitress, Rose. Can I start you off with something to drink?" She held her pen over her pad and waited, using that as an excuse to stare at her so she could try and figure out what exactly about the costumer had her feeling so... Uncomfortable.
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Post by Ventia on Aug 25, 2022 0:02:24 GMT -5
Rose.
Ventia thought the name suited her long lost daughter perfectly and the gentle smile she sent up at her probably showed more adoration than Ventia should have exposed. She had begged Ivan to not approach Rose abruptly as he had done with Katie, he told her he could and would kidnap Rose and lock her in one of their rooms if he needed to but Ventia didn't want that, it was one thing with Katie who had been too scared to come back on her own because of misguided guilt and another thing entirely to bring Rose against her consent.
Ventia felt if they went down that road, she would never be able to have any kind of relationship with the young adult standing next to her. She cleared her throat, "A coffee with milk please," there was sugar packets on the table and despite what it looked like, Ventia liked her coffee extra sweet. She usually tried to be ready when Rose came up to her but she really hadn't been paying attention to the menu once she felt the girl coming.
So she glanced down and read the first thing that her eyes landed on. "French Toast sounds good for today, with the cream and fruits. Thank you." She closed the menu and couldn't resist bringing her eyes back to watch the girl, trying to memorize every little detail of her daughter's face and also comparing it to the last two times she had saw her. Rose looked tired and despite not being able to decipher anything else about her, tiredness was something Ventia knew all too well. There was also another thing Ve was almost sure of as the days passed, and it was that she made Rose uncomfortable.
Ventia swallowed hard, she knew her eyes hadn't calm down that they still shone silver, it was her wolf unable to contain it's emotions with having Rose so near. Ventia couldn't blame Scar, unable to cease the way her pulse fluttered nervously both wanting to make a good impression and feeling like she was making a fool of herself as well.
"It's nice to see you again too. I must be lucky to have you as my waitress three times in a row now." Of course it had nothing to do with luck, with Ivan sending her Rose's work schedule, Ventia didn't ask how he had done it and found no shame in the way she excitedly ran her eyes over the various names until she found Rose's slot. In the next heartbeat Ventia had memorized the set of days Rose worked which was why she was yet again here today.
Still none of it showed in Ventia's otherwise open silver eyes, she was about to say something else when her phone buzzed silently in her front pocket. She didn't care to look at it but for the sake of not making Rose anymore uncomfortable than she was, Ventia made a show of getting it from her pocket and holding it in her hands, as if she were waiting for the girl to leave so she could check her phone instead of wishing she could continue to stall Rose and keep her by Ve's side.
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Post by Decoii on Aug 26, 2022 21:35:01 GMT -5
Rose started writing down the order as soon as it slipped past the older woman's lips. She was horrible at memorizing things, especially when she felt so bothered by the guest's presence to begin with. "Right," She said with a small sigh, plastering a smile on her face. "Coffee with milk and the french toast special with cream and milk."
As soon as it was confirmed, she rushed towards the back to type the order into her tablet for the cook to start making. She turned towards the coffee maker, frowning at the burnt smell, and took the time to make a new pot.
Waiting gave her time to get her thoughts together.
Maybe she was in trouble? Whatever was wrong, Rose didn't think it should be affecting her as much as it was. Sighing, she brought up a new fresh cup of coffee and a serving glass with milk. She placed them on the table, making sure the sugar was filled before turning to stare out the window.
She stood at the side of the table for an awkward amount of time, her manicured matte black nails tapping at an absentminded beat against the false wooden surface. The rain poured even harder than before. The cook had both of his headphones in and the music was probably blasting.
Leaving them alone, at least for the time being.
"Listen, are you in some sort of trouble?" She asked, turning back towards the seated woman. "I mean like... Your eyes are really. Listen, if you're in trouble maybe I can help. My- uh- my mom she was part of all these groups to help all sorts of people." She was ranting, she knew this, and it brought a deep blush to her face, "I'm sorry."
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Post by Ventia on Aug 27, 2022 1:10:12 GMT -5
"Yes, thank you." Ventia watched her go, her gaze lightening to their full wolf's glow since there was no one to notice in that moment with the kitchen staff out of view and Rose's back turned. Being able to be so close to her was a gift that Ventia had long since given up on. She still had so many emotions built up within her, fifteen years had been a long time, felt like a lifetime, she had become so little in those years as if finally the little string keeping everything in place after her whole entire shitty life had finally met its end on that dreadful night.
When Rose vanished from her view Ventia reluctantly shifted her gaze, instead glancing down at the phone in her hands, when her finger passed the touchscreen she saw who had messaged her. A bitter sting shot through her and Ventia turned her face away, looking out the wide glass mirror that painted the stormy weather and parking lot that laid empty with the exception of a few cars plus her own, rained poured down violently washing the world in its blue light the clouds dark, she felt drawn to the scenery and was thankful of the moment alone she would have with her daughter because of it.
No sane person could be caught in this kind of weather if they could help it...Ventia wasn't very sane these days. She enjoyed the view, putting the phone back into her pocket and was sipping on some of the iced water when she heard the distinctive sound of glass touching wood. Ventia turned instantly, a little surprise that she had been lost looking outside to not notice Rose's presence when now she couldn't do anything but notice her presence. Well she was their daughter, Ventia thought not for the first time feeling how Ivan would be so proud.
She said her thanks again and started ripping and pouring packets of sugar by the three's, thinking she'd escape again as Rose usually did, Ventia watched with curious side eyes as Rose stayed put, her eyes jumping down to her pretty nails making a comfortable tempo on the wooden surface. Ventia couldn't help but smile, Jareth would be thrilled to know that at least one of his sister's could create a nice tempo.
It was a double edged sword that she didn't even see coming, and she flinched at the exact moment Rose broke the silence. Finger's stalling, Ventia didn't try to hide her peeking and turned fully to look up at her daughter. Opening her lips to say something, to reassure her she was fine and explain at least her eyes, until Rose finished speaking.
She found herself saying softly, "No no, don't be sorry-I'm sorry for..." Ventia's words faltered, she was sorry for everything, sorry for not stopping that day from happening, from not being able to find her as Ivan could in less than two weeks when she couldn't for fifteen years, sorry for the rush of feelings she felt at hearing Rose call someone else mom both good and bad...everything, everything.
Ventia smiled and hid her face with her open hand and said instead, "Sorry for not being able to control this." She closed her eyes, wishing she could cut the silver glow but knew it would only lessen when she was away from here. Moving her hand to tuck back from wayward strands Ventia let her gaze go back to Rose. Her smile growing genuine at the cute blush on her face.
"Thank you for thinking of me, maybe if there were more people like you this world would be a better place, but I'm not in any trouble. At least none I don't think I can't handle. Although," Ventia sighed, leaning back to rest comfortably against the chair.
"I could probably use some girl advice, I don't have too many girlfriends and I guess I'm having relationship issues?" Ventia's voice sounded as surprised as she felt with a bit of humor mixed in it, as if she couldn't believe what she was saying right now besides from anything that could buy her some more time with Rose.
"That's if you're not busy and don't mind listening to some old croon talk about their love life." Ventia chuckled and leaned forward to pour in some of the milk into her coffee, she had put in enough sugar by now she hoped and using her spoon, Ventia mixed it a little before tasting it, the sugary sweetness and fresh brew sent a lazy warmth down her throat, coffee had been the biggest thing keeping her going during the years but Ventia couldn't remember when was the last time she had enjoyed a cup.
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Post by Decoii on Aug 30, 2022 10:03:54 GMT -5
Rose smiled a bit to herself as she grabbed the sugar packet container of the table nearby and placed it on the woman's table. She wasn't sure if she was just nervously adding sugar now, or if she needed that much sugar. Whatever it was, it made her less scary and more... Human, in a way.
"It happens to a lot of shifters." Rose rambled on, tucking her hands into the pockets of her apron for some warmth. "The eye color thing. I personally think the silver is pretty badass, but you won't be the best poker player in the room, you know what I mean?"
Rose was really surprised that the stranger opened herself up like this to her. She didn't find it weird or anything. But she did feel weird about being called a good person. "I'm not really... Like a good person or anything. Just a fly on the wall, who knows about everything- pretty much." She gave a small shrug and nodded at the girl talk.
She didn't think she was personally the best person to speak too. But she was much better than the cook. Rose still... Well she liked fucking around more than she liked anything solid. She drank too much and did too many drugs to have any solid relationship or job, to be honest. She was far from a good person, or any sort of person that did anything for the world.
It almost would have been funny.
"I'll be right back." She said, rushing towards the kitchen to grab her latte, and her breakfast sandwich. She wasn't supposed to be so casual with customers but Rose wasn't one to care much about the rules.
She came back and sat on the table next to the customers. Taking a sip of her drink. "What's your name? I think it's wierd for you to open up to me if I don't even know a name. But yeah, what's up?"
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Post by Ventia on Aug 30, 2022 22:54:02 GMT -5
Ventia had been about to offer to buy her breakfast when Rose hurried off to get her own meal. She wanted to say a lot of things but knew she shouldn't push her too much. Baby steps, Ventia reminded herself knowing full well the disaster that always came if Ventia tried to force things.
Pouting under the coffee mug as she was taking another sip, when Rose decided to sit on the nearest table to her left, Ventia put the cup down. "It's Ventia, though you can call me by my nickname Ve. If you want." Ventia paused, she had shifted in her seat facing Rose now, her fingers still cupping the warm mug. Was she waiting for some kind of familiarity in Rose's gaze at hearing her name? Maybe. But there hadn't been any, it both reassured her and made her stomach drop.
"I'll just say this before I start," Ventia chuckled lightly, looking away and down at the coffee for a moment, brushing her thumb over the rim. "You're a nice girl, Rose. Not many people will go out their way to ask if a stranger needs help much less sit down and talk with them. You never know when someone needs that. You were raised well, I'm glad."
Ventia glanced up and gave her a smile, "Anyway, I won't bore you too much, or at least I'll try not to so here it is. I haven't been in many good relationships in my lifetime, there's a lot of fucked up people out there that's for sure, and I'm not a saint either so, anything that was good I pushed away and looked for any excuse to not be with them. Add that to a already chaotic relationship with this guy where I constantly wondered if he really loved me or not, we broke up and went our separate ways."
"Add a couple more moments of insanity together," Ventia chuckled, "until I lost him for good. He was as good as dead in my eyes. A couple years down the road and well I went to someone for comfort. She's a whole other page of craziness but she's been good to me. Probably the healthiest relationship I've been in to date and yet I was still hung up about my ex."
"Boring you yet?" Ventia teased, giving Rose a smile. Despite everything, at least on Ventia's side she felt it to be quite natural to talk to her daughter. Of course not about her relationship issues but beggars couldn't be choosers.
"Anyway long story short, my ex comes back and I want to see if we can make it work. Of course I have my doubts but there's some people you're just drawn to no matter what, he's always been like to me. Now the question is, I don't know what to do with the girl. Part of me doesn't want to let her go and the other wants to be fully committed to him. So I've been dodging her calls and texts and I don't know what to do."
"I'll damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. I don't see neither of them wanting to share-and I don't blame them since usually I don't like to share either-so technically I should let her go but instead I'm just avoiding it all entirely. I'm sorry I rambled didn't I?"
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Post by Decoii on Sept 7, 2022 13:42:06 GMT -5
As Rose listened to the woman talk about her story, at least, her relationship story. She felt a pang of sadness for her. Rose didn't have a lot of experience in the relationship world, but she assumed that the older you got the deeper some roots got and the harder it was to get rid of them.
Rose liked to fuck around too much to create anything steady. But just with that, she understands how complicated things could get. Even when you really didn't want that to happen.
"If you have to wonder if they love you, do they really? I mean you'd have to be really stupid or shitty to fuck up showing or telling someone that you love them. Don't you think?"
Rose ate about half of her sandwich before continuing. "Of course it's hard to tell just from your side of the story. I think only listening to one side doesn't give you enough information and you'd only be telling me from your opinion and well... That's biased already."
She felt like she was rambling and offering very little, So with one final gulp of her drink, she shrugs. "I say fuck him. It doesn't have to be complicated. But he just seems like some asshole. Pick the lesser evil, i think. She seems like the lesser evil."
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Post by Ventia on Sept 8, 2022 15:31:18 GMT -5
"That's the sane thing to do isn't it?" Ventia chuckled, satisfied that her daughter was smart as well as kind. She thought of Ivan, of all of their mistakes together, and knew that there was some sense in not picking him. But then she thought of the good times, the love she still felt for him even to this day, and these last three weeks of him being back in her life.
She didn't want to lose that. She didn't want to lose him. Not again.
"I'm sure he would say that I never put him first, that I was always looking back at my past, my responsibilities, I'm sure I'm as much at fault as he was, never giving him a real chance or accepting him as he was, always wanting him to change and fit into my little box...only to lose him. You never know what you have until you lose it, that's pretty much how it went. I realize after that I didn't need to change anything, that I didn't need to push him to be with me the way I wanted, that all I needed was for him to be around."
Ventia sighed, old emotions coming to the surface, those first years of Ivan being dead and Rose being gone, had been the hardest years Ventia had to date. All her years of abuse, either by her father or Keith, hadn't seemed to compare to the suffering she had felt at losing her mate and child. Even at the news of her Alpha dying, her best friend in the Pack and someone she also loved, hasn't seemed to compare to the heartache she had felt. Of course it added to her pain, sent her spiraling into a dark state where she could only think of taking the easy way out, yet her pups still needed her at that time, and she had held on for them.
She used Lue to cope with her loss, shielding her heart from any real emotions, and the years passed with a lighter shroud over her shoulders. The darkest thoughts only came out to play on the quietest and longest nights, but Ventia the only thing holding The New Dawn as their Beta never had the nerve to end it, knowing what she would be leaving behind and knowing she couldn't do that to them.
"Everything feels complicated-I didn't exactly love her or if I did, I didn't allow myself to accept it...anyway thank you for listening to me talk, I think I have a better idea of what to do. I owe you. If you're ever in danger or need someone to talk to or listen, I would be more than happy to return the favor." Ventia smiled at her, bitter sweetness filled her heart, there was so much she wanted to ask, about her life her hardships if she had everything she needed while growing up, if she was happy, if she ever felt like she was missing something in her life, it went on and on, but Ventia knew she couldn't ask those questions, that it wasn't her place, not yet at least.
She turned and rummaged through her purse, grabbing a small notebook and pen, and wrote down her personal number and name, she ripped out the page and leaned over to place it on Rose's table. "My number, you don't have to accept it you could throw it away if you want, but I do feel indebted to you for listening to my story, like I said before if you ever need anything, you can give me a call."
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Post by Decoii on Sept 11, 2022 12:09:52 GMT -5
Rose sat back on her chair, eating her sandwich while occasionally taking sips of her drink. Even as she stared at Ventia, the woman seemed to be lost in her head somewhere. Making up scenarios and trying to piece together a puzzle that couldn't be put together with half of its pieces missing.
She could only find the other half with the people on her mind.
"See what you're doing there? No, ma. You're literally making up excuses for them! Did he give you a chance? Did he accept you? He acts like a self centered child, im sorry."
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Post by Ventia on Sept 12, 2022 17:32:39 GMT -5
The moment Rose said the word 'ma' Ventia froze, all thoughts fled from her mind, she barely even registered what else her daughter said, only that single word reverberated through her head. Rose-no Elena as a child-flashed through her mind's eye, always a curious girl her eyes bright and full of life, always getting herself into trouble, and then giving Ventia a innocent sly smile while making grabby hands and calling out ma. Mama. Mom.
The familiar bite of tears threatened to break loose, her eyes sharpening with the silver glow, her wolf so close to the surface, the pain feeling like it was going to burst free, Ventia bit the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood, the metallic taste made her center herself and Ventia forced her throat to swallow the sudden lump inside of it. This wasn't good for her heart but Ventia would die just to hear Rose call her anything relating to a mother once more.
"He.." Ventia forced herself to remember what Rose had said and sucked a little more on the wound in her mouth, using her blood like a clutch, and finally found the words. "I suppose he didn't. He also wanted me to fit in his box. I guess that's why we butted heads so much, neither of us wanted to give in and change our current lifestyles at that point. I'm hoping the second time is the charm."
"Have you ever fallen in love before? Or come close to that kind of feeling? I'm just curious you don't have to answer if you're not comfortable with the question. You're a very beautiful girl and I think you have a good personality to match, I'm sure there's at least one person who popped into your brain that stands out from the rest."
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Post by Decoii on Sept 12, 2022 21:23:34 GMT -5
Rose almost choked on the last bite of her sandwich at the growing hostile air in the small restaurant. She wasn't sure what she had said to silently rile up the woman so much. But she met a lot of shifters with less control over their anger. IT was slightly nerve-wrecking and while Rose enjoyed her peace, there was a small part of her that got excited for the rising danger.
But Ventia remained calm and composed. Moved on after a while as if nothing had happened. It drew a chuckle out of Rose. But she was thankful that things didn't turn out more chaotic.
She stood from her seat, grabbed her plate and Ventia's almost empty cup. Rose then took her time to rinse her dishes and pour more coffee into a new cup. Then after checking up on the cook, who was too busy snorting up a line of coke and rapping some Eminem lyric or another to himself to worry about her, she headed back to the floor and took her previous seat.
"Fallen in love? No. No one even pops to mind either. Growing up, people came and went. Things got fun then it was time to move on. My god, that sounds bad but I promise it isn't. Things kept me busy. I was always interested in something or another. I love the drama in short lived romances and even the feeling of heartbreak when it's over. But it's never heartbreak, you know?"
She sighed. "Besides, I think it's good if it avoids going through what you're going through right now. No offense or anything." She added while waving her hands in the air. "Why don't you just drop them both? Start again and all that. You're young but probably too old to be dealing with immature people. Dude sounds immature. The girl sounds like you're using her to satisfy something or another."
She didn't know a lot of the story but she knew that some people clung to history without thinking or looking towards the future. Maybe Ventia was the type of person to worry too much about others and little about herself? Maybe she just wanted to be loved and hated to be left alone. Rose has seen plenty of that in her own short life.
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Post by Ventia on Sept 15, 2022 17:47:44 GMT -5
"No offense taken and it just comes down to me not wanting to." Ventia told her honestly, sure everything was crappy at the best and there was still a lot of shit she had to sort through but after years of being understanding and being alone, of being the good guy, the mature one, now she stubbornly found both her hands full and feeling greedy wanting them both. She wanted to work everything out with Ivan, get their relationship somewhere healthy and steady, wanting him in her life again. And she wanted Lue too.
She wasn't about to repeat her past mistakes, Ventia felt like the day Ivan took her from New Dawn was the last day she ever got to see Decoil again, the woman at that time she had loved and admired, respected and would have done anything to aid her as her Beta. She lost that in a blink. Would she lose Lucrezia's friendship like that again? Would Ivan blow up demanding her to cut all ties? Ventia didn't think she would go through with that, no she knew she wouldn't. But it wasn't like she wanted to lose Ivan either.
Ventia barely had that many friends, these days it was only Jewel and Lue, even Darian had retreated into himself and only did what his rank required of him. Orfeo? She hadn't heard from him in years. Her children didn't exactly count either. She sighed again, life could get pretty crappy over the years. But she didn't regret a thing. She still cherished each and every one of her experiences with those in her lifetime.
"Love isn't easy, but that isn't a excuse to shy away from it. Not if it's real. Not to sound too sappy but I've always wanted to find true love, I mean if we exist than it should as well. It might not be what we thought it would be, we might not even be able to recognize it when it's staring right at our faces, we might fail and make a mess of things, but if its real with time everything will work out. Might take a long time but everyone has their season. I hope you can find someone for yourself, someone unlike the rest and who knows you-who connects with you in a way no one else can, short romances are fine and dandy but I think one day you'll meet your match."
"Gosh I'm rambling so much now that I'm afraid I'm not even making sense. I guess I would hate to see someone like you making the same mistakes as I have. Pushing people away...not letting anyone get too close in...letting yourself feel only a piece of your true emotions..it seems like a waste. I have a daughter your age and well any mother would want the best for their kids." Her voice and eyes went soft as she watched Rose, her precious daughter, wanting only the best for her in all areas of her life.
"I think I've taken too much of your time, thank you for talking with me today Rose."
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