Jewel
Healer
Loyalty comes in many forms. Some are more obvious than others. -Thorn
Posts: 2,195
Pack Status: New Dawn, Nighstar, Rogue, Other
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Post by Jewel on Dec 28, 2016 11:22:06 GMT -5
VentiaIt's been more than 24 hours since she's slept; between the execution of the Plan, the lack of warmth in her bed that she's dealt with for months, the sight of her Penny killing someone, and the adrenaline, she didn't feel like it. Even right now, as she lied in bed on her husband's side as all three of her children (and yes, in a way she considered X as her child too) crawled in and slept with arm and legs entangled. Vaguely, Avery wondered how Penny could sleep sandwiched between two six-footers whose arms were wrapped protectively around her. Well, Avery backtracked, as Penny squished her eyebrows in her sleep, maybe she couldn't. And who could blame her? Penny never had a violent Aone in her body growing up, unlike Avery's brother Leo. Yet just hours before-hand, Penny saved her mate from a "ceremonial blade" intended for "the imposter who dared to lay his hands on their beloved goddess". Avery shuddered heavily, hearing the phrase over and over again. Then the blade flashed grotesquely in the firelight held by the sconces as it headed straight for the heart of its target before the tawny lioness that was her younger daughter leapt from her throne to not only knock away the priest, but to end his life. I didn't mean to! I just saw that he was about to kill X and... Avery winced, remembering Penny sob and Andy's reassurances that she did what any pack member - any loving mate - would do. Which seemed to only make Penny cry harder. All that crying, Avery guessed, knocked all three out. That was fine with her. Now, it was a few hours past dawn. Avery had drawn the curtains closed so that the sun could do its job without waking the trio. Back in the bed, she was just beginning to nod off when the bedroom door creaked open, timid-like as a dark shadow covered the beam of artificial light peaking in. Without even looking at him, she knew it was her husband; on top of his scent that she once found so comforting - now associated with an impending fight - she knew that it was him because he was the only other person that came in the house nowadays. Once, her house was full and vibrant with her family and Andy. With the exception of the day of the Plan, where pack mates she didn't know from Adam on top of Maddox and Darren, her house had been bare and empty, whose only inhabitants were Eva and Avery. Timothy seemed so out of place, despite the fact that his clothes and things sat comfotably right next to her own. Even without her glasses on, she met Timothy's gaze with her own, her expression that could be seen unreadable to most, yet to him was an open book. Being married for so long, she didn't try to hide everything she felt. Relief. Resignation. Defense. Anger. And yes, she was angry. She slipped silently out of bed, her socks letting her shuffle on the bare floor toward the door. And when she got ther, she shut it behind her before turning toward Timothy. "Let's take it outside; I don't want to wake them."
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Post by Ventia on Dec 30, 2016 8:11:54 GMT -5
Timothy didnt know how to cope with lost. He lost his brother after getting kidnapped and sold into ownership of the Arena, and it was either be killed or kill. Timothy wasnt allowed time to greieve over his lost or to be able to do anything with it, he just learnt how to fight and be ruthless and well...hide his emotions until he got what needed to be done-done.
Losing his daughter was worst than losing a brother. Even though at that time, his brother was his world-it was different. A hell of a lot different and yes, Timothy lost his mind. He couldnt really do anything about it either-nothing. He did everything he could. Hunted down old enemies to see if he was the reason for his daughter's disapearace. Looked high and low for clues. Even hurt people just to see if maybe-maybe they knew something. He could barely draw so much as stand to be in the house.
It wasnt that he knew that his mate and daughter needed him to fill in that hole-Timothy just...didnt know how. He loved them. Loved them so much he wanted to lock them up in the house while he stood guard and made sure that nothing could hurt them. Most nights thats what he did. Guard the house. Unable to do anything during the long hours of the night besides watch. Wait. See if there was a shadow coming back to take another one of his angels.
He pushed both his daughter and his mate away. After a while, when he snapped a few times-Timothy had a reason to stay away. He had snapped. Said so many hurtful things and still couldnt save his little Penny. Timothy...Timothy didnt know what to do. Until Maddox came around and gave them the one clue that they needed and then the path to Penny became clear.
They saved her. His little girl was back in the house. All of his girls were safe and sound. Home. Safe. And yet Timothy didnt know how to fix the damage he had done. He knew all along what he was doing. He just...didnt know how. Avery...Evanna...Even Penny. Timothy didnt know how to reach for them and repair what was lost.
Even now. He stared at the closed door and placed his head on it, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose. Smelling the scent of his missing daughter, his missing son-in-law, his little trouble maker and...his mate. It smelt like home and yet-Timothy felt like he didnt belong in that anymore. Like he had no right to add his own scent into the mix of theirs.
So he opened the door with hesitation rather than with confidence like he should have. Because he had no right. He wasnt surprised to see Avery awake-after all, she was usually awake all night waiting for him to return when he couldnt stop searching. And the emotions...Timothy deserved that too.
He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it. His eyes soaking up the sight of his mate. It had been too long. She was too skinny. Too pale. Too...too empty. It was all his fault. He could see it. See the emotional abuse that he had unwilling caused but caused nonetheless. The hate he had for himself only festered more. This was what he had done. Because he didnt know how to handle the fact that someone else had been taken from his life.
He backtracked out of the room, knowing he should look away from her but...now that he finally allowed himself to stare-he couldnt. His heart ached for her. His arms were dying to hold her. And yet? Timothy knew he wasnt allowed. He had failed. As both a protector of the house-and worst-as her husband and mate.
His throat closed and he wondered briefly if their mate bond still worked...he hadnt spoken to her through their link since...since Penny had been taken. The thought only killed him more inside. He didnt dare to test if the bond did work-if it didnt...Timothy wasnt going to think about it. Instead, he nodded at his mate and turned on his heel, walking away.
He realized that he was walking fast. As if to get away from her. Like he had been this entire time. Trying to get away from his family so they didnt see the disappointment that he was. He slowed his pace and then opened the front door, holding it open for her and waiting for her to pass.
His mate. But he knew right now that they were strangers. His beast craved her scent and when she walked past him, it screeched with the enjoyment of how near she was...even for a breath. He closed the door then and then walked down the porch before turning back to her.
Timothy parted his lips, knowing he had to say something. Anything. But he couldnt. He could barely look at her in the eye. That was how much of a failure he was.
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Jewel
Healer
Loyalty comes in many forms. Some are more obvious than others. -Thorn
Posts: 2,195
Pack Status: New Dawn, Nighstar, Rogue, Other
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Post by Jewel on Dec 31, 2016 20:44:16 GMT -5
"Am I ... supposed to start crying now, or wait for you to yell?" Avery said, after twenty-two seconds of silence on both parts (and yes, she counted, as tense as Madame Rinaldi at a gymnastics show). And as those twenty-two seconds wore on, her anger was steadily rising.
All these months of his absence, his yelling and cursing ... tonight, she was ready for it. Avery deserved to be angry. Her husband - her mate - her rock - wasn't there when she needed him more than ever; wasn't it in the vows that they spoke to each other? "For better or worse"? But it seemed that that day didn't mean a single thing to him. Now, he was looking like she was the one to abandon him when the crap hit the fan. God, how she hated it. Leo looked like that soon after she woke from the coma he put her in. Her first boyfriend did when she broke up with him for cheating on her with Gina Yeargood, the varsity cheerleading captain.
Usually, Avery wasn't the type to get upset over things. After all, she was the peace-loving hippie that felt that everyone had their flaws. "It's okay," she said to Leo. "I'm over him," she assured Brook. With Timothy? She was feeling extremely out of character. "Well, I'm going to go ahead and say right now that I am so done with crying. I'm surprised Eva could sleep on a pillow so saturated!" She threw her hands up in the air, scoffing. "I'm sorry," she continued, yet she didn't really sound like it. "Did I not give you ample enough time to raise your voice?"
Something broke inside her. A lump formed at the base of her throat. It took another half-minute of swallowing it because she wasn't going to cry. She was tired of crying and having everyone think that she was a doormat. Because she wasn't that. She wasn't sure what she was to Timothy anymore. But she knew that she was tired of being sad.
She wasn't entirely sure about what happened next until her hand stung and Timothy's eyes went wide.
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Post by Ventia on Jan 6, 2017 8:38:28 GMT -5
"I-" Timothy's throat tightened, unsure how to talk to the woman that he swore to love and protect. Unsure how to even utter a few words to her. He was a stranger. She felt like a stranger. Timothy knew that it was all his fault, knew that however way she acted now was because of him. Knew that he accepted everything. He truly did. How could he hurt someone he loved so much?
Timothy felt his fists clenching all on their own at her words, not because what she was saying was pissing him off (it didn't) but because of the fact that he was the one to have pushed her to this point. He had been the one to have made her emotions this intense. Timothy dug his fingernails into his skin, watching her cheeks go slightly red as the anger of being next to him exploded. Watched as the edges of her beautiful eyes started to fill with up with the foreshadowing of tears. Watched as frown lines grew over her eyebrows as she spoke. Watched that slight tremor take hold of her small body.
Timothy shook his head, tried to tell her that she shouldn't be the one saying she was sorry, but that he should be the one apologizing over and over again. Tried to tell her that he didn't want to yell ever and that was why he put so much distance between them. Because he honestly didn't want to have yelled at them but they kept pushing him to come closer and...and it was all he and his beast could do. Screech out their sorrow. But the words died in his throat, leaving a bitterness behind that was too familiar. Lost. He had lost them in a way and it had been all his fault.
He was so lost in the look in her eyes and the fact that even though he had his family back-he could never go back, that he didnt even see the slap coming. It stung. A small gasp finally escaped from his throat and then it broke the spell that had him chained up so well. "Avery?" He asked, his blue eyes wide and his fists suddenly unclenched. Almost relaxed.
It registered him little by little that she had slapped him. He could see the begining redness against her hand, could feel the sting making his left eye fidget and want to tear up, and...he could feel the warmness that covered his cheek. Could feel the slight hint of Avery's essence on him again. Could smell the fast-leaving aroma of his mate on his skin.
The chains broke, freeing both his ability to speak and his emotions. His hand touched his cheek, absorbing the slight pain and mostly the warmth from his Avery. While he held on to that piece of her, he opened his mouth and the words came tumbling out. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to yell. Never wanted to say those things to you or Evanna. I didnt want to add on to the pain we were all feeling with the lost of Penny but I just couldnt handle it. I didnt know how Avery. I tried to cope the best way I could, which was by myself. I never had anyone when I actually lost something. I didnt know how to Avery. I didnt. I tried keeping my distance but I couldnt go to far because I couldnt lose anyone else. I couldnt. I had to seperate myself from my family because I didnt want you to see that side of me. I didnt want to scream or yell or say things that werent true. But you kept trying to pull me close and I snapped. I'm sorry. Its no excuse, I know that. Family should stick together when the going gets tough but I didnt know how to."
"I never wanted to make you cry. I swore to myself that I would be the one to stop your tears and...I'm so sorry Avery. I've done so much to hurt you and Evanna and even Thea and my brother and Jewel and my nephews and nieces. I'm so sorry. I dont know what to do Aves. I dont. I tried so hard to make you guys safe from myself and it turned on me. I just made it worst. I'm sorry." The hand that held his cheek twisted and curled into his hair, clenching his hair as he spoke.
"You girls are everything to me. I couldnt...I didnt know how to handle it. With my parents-at least I had Nate. When Nate was lost to me, I lost it at that Arena. But thats the only way I knew how to cope. I never lost anything during my time with you and I felt that side coming out and all I knew that I had to do was run away. Run from you until it was solved or else you would see the person I am and you would hate me. But I couldnt run away all the way and now you did see. I understand if you hate me. I've hurt you and even Evanna so much that I dont see a spot here for me anymore but...I'm sorry Aves."
"Dont ever apologize to me please. I cant stand it. Please stop crying. I cant stand it. I cant see you crying anymore knowing its because of me. I'm sorry Avery. I'm sorry. For everything. I'm so sorry."
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Jewel
Healer
Loyalty comes in many forms. Some are more obvious than others. -Thorn
Posts: 2,195
Pack Status: New Dawn, Nighstar, Rogue, Other
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Post by Jewel on Jan 8, 2017 15:03:54 GMT -5
Timothy was tall. She was not. When she slapped him, Avery had to stand on her toes. Only when she rocked back on her heels did she fully understand what she did.
Was she afraid that he would hit her back? Despite his time in the Arena, he was never violent toward her. So no, she wasn't afraid.
Did she feel regret for doing it? Again, no. At least, not at first. Timothy had given her permission to slap him any time that he made her cry. At the time, she balked at the mere thought. Timothy was her everything. He'd never make her cry. But he had. So many times, in fact, that she deserved to slap him silly. But she won't. Because even though she was so angry she could spit, she loved him so much that (after feeling her brief sense of justice) the pain from slapping him wasn't just physical.
She could believe she just did that.
With her red palm cradled in her other hand, her ears picked up not just his voice, but the pounding of her own heart. It … sounded like a tribal drum, Avery would look back on this memory and think. Right now, she was too focused on her other half, who felt so detached from her. It was like a phantom limb.
"In sorry," she said, voice strangled with unshod tears. She shook her head, both at his insistence on her apologies and her internal fight on whether to cry or not. Avery was definitely tired of crying. "But that's what families are supposed to do. When the going gets tough, they lean on each other. Th-though now I know you-you need to be away. I get it n-now. I needed you to h-hold me. I ne-eeded my rock to assure me, n-not stand freaking vigil over the d*mn house! Even now, you won't touch me!"
Her breathing stuttered when she suppressed a sob. Instead of it, a rather unattractive snort sounded. Again, she shook her head before she wiped her hand across her face. She didn't have her glasses on, yet she saw Timothy perfectly. Again, she would look back on this memory and wonder why. When she was human it was a wonder how she can function without her glasses.
For a while, there was silence on her part as she tried to gather her composure. Then she shrugged indifferently afterward. "So what now?"
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Post by Ventia on Jan 15, 2017 23:13:23 GMT -5
"I couldnt let you see that side of me...I was afraid Aves. I was afraid because I didnt know what was going to happen. I'm sorry." God, he wanted to hold her. He wanted to curl her into his arms and just repeat over and over again how sorry he was that he hadnt been there for her, that he wasnt the man she thought him to be, that he was weak when she needed him to be strong. He wanted to just apologize over and over again but at the same time, saying sorry never helped.
God, Timothy had fucked up so much. He always fucked up when it mattered most. He wanted to touch her but she was right. He wasnt going to. He didnt deserve her. Didnt deserve that privilege. He wished she hit him again, so that he could feel her skin once more. The warmness on his cheek already left him and even that hurt more than the actual hit.
He stared at her when she shrugged and..."I dont want to lose you Avery."
He spat it out really, his voice slightly high and the fear was evident in those few words. God, he didnt want to lose her. Didnt want to lose any of them. Evanna. Penny. X. Avery. His brother, his nieces and nephews, Jewel, Killian and Ruby, and everyone that he considered a family now. He didnt want to lose them but right now, in this moment, he couldnt bear the thought of losing his wife.
He touched his ring, twirled it around his finger and stared down at it. "I messed up already on our vows by not being there for you...but I cant stand the thought of you not being in my life. I know I fucked up Aves, but please, let me make it up to you." He dropped his hands and turned his gaze towards his wife's.
"I know its not going to be resolved in one day but please forgive me. Let me earn my right to touch you again-to be the man you want again. Please. Or..is it too late?"
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Jewel
Healer
Loyalty comes in many forms. Some are more obvious than others. -Thorn
Posts: 2,195
Pack Status: New Dawn, Nighstar, Rogue, Other
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Post by Jewel on Jan 17, 2017 22:12:17 GMT -5
Avery never took off her ring. Why? She still loved Timothy. It was difficult not to, being soul mates and all. Not to mention just how much they had gone through before Penny and X being kidnapped. Yes, she was angry. So furious at him that she knew he deserved some sort of punishment. At the same time, though, he was punishing himself, thinking that she wpould give up on him and not even giving her a simple hug. He didn't need anything added on top of that. Heck, if she could convince him he wouldn't be punished at all!
That was the difference between the two. She rewarded good behavior, but ignored the bad. To keep their kids from being completely spoiled Timothy disciplined them. The urge to scream out in frustration was there; it was all she had not to follow through with it.
She reached out slowly, like her father did with birds in the aviary that hurt themselves or weren't used to human interaction yet. Avery used the hand that didn't slap him to hold his hand - or at least try to. If he pulled away, she'd drop her hand and step away. "No. It's not too late." She took a deep breath before forging on. "But I want you to fix your relationship with Evanna, and actually share the bed with me. I don't want for Penny to know how torn apart we were when she and X were ... missing." After a few moments, she nodded and moved past him to get to the house.
"No more standing vigil!"
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Post by Ventia on Jan 29, 2017 3:39:01 GMT -5
He noticed her hand moving towards him and he watched until he felt her fingers against his. His whole body sighed, as if it had been waiting for this moment for too long to count, and now that it had finally come, he could finally let go of the breath that he had been holding. His fingers curled around hers until they were locked in a firm embrace. Not tight-but firm. As if Timothy was making sure that he wouldnt be letting go of this hand any time soon.
"Thank you Aves," He couldnt stop his body from reacting. His thumb seemed to have a mind of its own as it sweep past her skin in a loving caress. It felt...right. Dammit. Timothy wished he could go back in time and fix what he had wronged, but he couldnt. He would fix it now though. "Of course, I've been planning on speaking with Evanna tomorrow...and if you would want me next to you-I want to be."
Timothy moved with her, his fingers still locked with hers. He didnt want to let go. It would probably make Avery frown at him-as if he were a child not letting go of the elder's hand-but he just couldnt. Her next words then made a chuckle escape from his chest.
"Of course," He opened the door for her with his free hand and entered with her, closing the door silently behind him and locking it. It felt...it was silly he knew, but it felt like now, since he was making the first steps of fixing the wrong that he had done with his loved ones, that now, it felt like he too had a place here.
He stopped then, just a few feet from the door, her hand still in his-until she stopped too and looked at him. Once she did, he met her eyes and brought their paired hands slowly close to his lips, to where he softly kissed her ring finger and breathed the words he believed in with all of his soul.
"I love you Avery."
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