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Post by Ventia on Jan 13, 2015 0:38:35 GMT -5
Katie walked through the snow, covering distance between the Pack and herself. She did this a lot, walking around. At first it was just because her mom made her. it was training, seeing how far she could go after a long and tiresome day. Then it became patrolling, mostly alone but sometimes with her brother. She would think that she could protect her pack, her people just by running around the border lines. She thought that her efforts, though small, could play a big difference. She really did. Now? She didn’t know.
Lately she’s been using the excuse of ‘patrolling’ just to get out of the house and so that her mom wouldn’t worry. Sure she still walked around the pack’s borders and did the things she normally did, like carry her knifes and her gun and all that crap but she was more in her head than patrolling. She was slower too, taking slow measured steps rather than the fast paced ones she usual took.
Katie ran a hand through her loose hair, it was long and straight and dark brown. She stared down at a lock of it and then tugged. She didn’t know what she was doing at the moment, only that the cold was making her feel heavier than she was.
Katie was a small thing, never being able to tower over people like her mother and brother did. She didn’t have anything to look at, besides from her pretty face. She was short, small breasts, small legs, small thighs, small everything. The only thing she had going for her was that she was toned and that she had muscles. Not that that was attractive.
Katie thought about herself in that way, as someone attractive. She didn’t find herself as such; no she didn’t have any insecurities issues. She knew that she was what people called pretty even with her small lithe body but she just didn’t find people as attractive or ugly. She never felt a difference between what someone would call attractive and what someone would call ugly.
Then again, she never felt herself think of anyone in such a manner either. She never saw someone and wanted to kiss them. She never saw someone and thought about touching herself. She never thought about any of those things. She asked her brother once if he felt like that towards some people and he had just pushed her out of the room. She asked her mother and her mother said yes, of course. Katie didn’t feel as though she was different, she didn’t feel as though she was a freak for not being like the rest. She didn’t.
It just bugged her.
Maybe that was why she was now in front of a club. Well in front of a forest opening that was near a club. She knew that she wasn’t even dressed, wearing old sweats that had bullet holes in them and a big sweater that smelled like it hasn’t seen a bath in a week…not to mention the fact that the shoes she was wearing were wet from the snow melting in them and now her socks were equally as wet. Well yes. She wasn’t club material.
It didn’t bother her though, she didn’t care about how she looked. Not today anyway. She was too focused on the people who walked around. They were laughing and having a good time, some girls were with friends, others were around the guys. Some were kissing, some were hugging, some were just holding each other. Katie leaned back against a tree with a sigh. She crossed her arms and found herself pinching the skin.
She felt the pain. Why didn’t she feel those things that made those people want to touch each other in such a way?
She wanted to know, she was curious and decided to do a little test. So she moved deeper into the forest, stashed her items away besides from her little purse and then walked out of the forest, moving into the Neutral Lands. She didn’t go straight to the club, not with the way she was dressed at least. She wanted to do a experiment and sadly she didn’t have enough time for trails. So all would have to be done in one try.
Katie moved towards a store, thank the fact that it was crazy and it stayed open twenty four hours. She entered it, walked around the clothing department for about thirty minutes before being content and buying what she needed. She then moved to the bathroom, went to the biggest stall and once the door was locked, she started to undress.
She was done in about half an hour, makeup and clothes needing to be perfect and all. All the while she had her shoes under the hand dryer, it was annoying pressing the button all the time but by the time she was done, there was no more water in her boots. Katie stared at her reflection, her clear blue eyes were darken with eyeliner and mascara, her eyelids covered with smoky eye shadow, her lip covered in red. Her cheeks a hint of blush, her hair was up in a silky pony tail, her bangs covering her forehead.
Sure it wasn’t her best but she didn’t feel like spending a good hour dolling herself up. She wanted to go on with her experiment already. She was out the door soon, her old clothes thrown away because her purse wasn’t big enough. She didn’t mind though, the clothes weren’t even considered clothes-more like rags. She walked along the pathway to the club, not her mother’s-no. If her mother knew what she had done, her look on Katie would change. Katie didn’t want that. She wasn’t lying to her mother…she just didn’t want her mother knowing certain things in her life. This being one of them.
Instead she picked one of the lesser clubs. The human ones. Ones her mother wouldn’t be so knowing about. It was still popular though, Katie wouldn’t pick a small club where it would be quite easy to recognize her-no no no. that would be dumb of her. She waited in line, not wanting to cause anything that would cause someone to look twice at her. She was surrounded by other beautiful ladies which meant that she was hidden in plain sight.
It took a while, Katie wasn’t really paying much attention but soon the bouncer was making her give him her ID. Mom had made both Jareth and Katie have one, legal purposes and all of that. So Katie just raised her eyebrow at the man until he let her in. She took her card back and moved slowly in the club, not minding the loud obnoxious beating of the songs. She missed her own club’s music, it was better than this one but beggars can’t be choosers.
Katie moved to the bar, needing a drink before conducting her hypothesis.
After paying for a shot of Vodka, Katie quickly shot it back and drank it before ordering another and then moving around the humans. As she walked around she sipped at the shot glass, enjoying the way it burned in her throat. Doug had gotten her into drinking, he was her partner at Suck Them Dry and after the first couple nights when her mother wasn’t breathing down her back, Katie admitted to Doug that she never drank and he had made her drink on the spot. As she served customers that night, she had found her drink.
Once she finished with the glass, she placed it on a small table. She knew how annoying it was to leave it there-at her job she always had to go with a dust pan and broom to get the cups that had broken but this wasn’t her job so she didn’t care if her cup dropped because someone too drunk had bumped into it.
Slowly Katie moved to the dance floor. She wasn’t in the dance mood but she couldn’t just walk around the corners with a gloomy face if she wanted to accomplish what she set out to do. Well she could, but it would take a while for some guy to find the courage to go to her. Katie had gone a few times to Jareth’s band performances, always there for him whenever he had a jig. Or most of the time anyways and she would be dressed up, wanting to embarrass her big brother by him having to explain that no, she wasn’t his girlfriend and that she was his little annoying sister. She also liked it when a guy came up to her and claimed that it took him a hour to get the courage to and then Jareth came over all protective and shit and made the guy go away. It was funny and amusing.
So yes, someone would soon come to her but she didn’t have the time for soon. So? She would go to them herself.
Katie flashed some boys and girls her best smile, allowing that dimple that she inherited from her mother to show as she twirled a piece of her hair and walked deeper into the dancefloor. Briefly rubbing against people who were in her way and once she got into a spot where she was squished by males and females, she started to dance.
It hadn’t taken long before someone reached out and wrapped an arm around her. The person was tall-no surprise there, mostly everyone was taller than her-and they smelled nice, they were so close that she could feel their breath on her bare neck. Katie tried figuring where the scent was from, roses? No. Vanilla? Katie turned around, not surprised to see that it was the blonde girl that she had smiled at before. Like she had thought before, boys were really too slow. Katie laid her hands on the taller girl’s hips and swayed to the song, staring at the smiling green eyes that the girl had. Katie smiled back but without the euphuism.
Katie and Sarah danced for a few songs, during those songs Sarah became more touchy and Katie didn’t mind. Then again, she didn’t notice anything if it weren’t for her ass being squeezed. The girl just wasn’t making her feel anything. It frustrated her a bit so she stood on her toes and kissed the girl, letting her mouth rub against the soft lips of the girls before letting her tongue dart out and lick the cherry lip gloss that covered Sarah’s lips.
Slowly and still dancing, Katie deepened the kiss, letting her mouth explore and tasting the girl. Besides from detecting that the girl probably ate a taco before coming here, Katie didn’t feel anything. Which was why she pulled away, smiled softly at the girl and walked away. Going back to the bar and getting herself another drink.
Okay, so she wasn’t attracted to girls. Most girls weren’t. Maybe she was the heterosexual type. Katie leaned against the counter, noticing that Sarah was looking a bit more than pissed off but not caring so much as she scanned the people for a pretty male face.
She spotted one, he had long black hair which was braided down his spine, deep brown orbs and had a native looking skin type going for him. He was everything that she thought a man to be attractive, someone who would have no problem at getting a reaction out of her. So, she drank her Vodka and made her way over. She wasn’t going to wait it out seeing as how he was currently dancing with another chick, no, Katie just moved so that she was behind him and she started trailing her nails down his back and soon tugged on his long hair.
That had gotten his attention and he turned towards her with a glare only to pause. They danced, much like Sarah and she had, and Katie just found herself…nothing. Katie stared up at Dean, he was attractive-all the other girls thought so and he was currently bending down and kissing her neck. Sucking. And biting. Katie just stood there, allowing it to occur and thinking hey, I might feel something.
She didn’t. Not even disgust. So she grabbed his cheeks, which were scruffy with his five o’clock shadow and she kissed him. Much like Sarah, she pressed her lips to his and tasted his mouth, explored it more thoroughly than Sarah’s and trying to determine if he was making her feel anything. He wasn’t. Katie tried pulling away but unlike Sarah, he didn’t allow her to.
That at least got a reaction out of her and with a sigh, she kneed him in the groin and then made her way out of the club. In a few minutes she was walking back to the forest, moving to where she stashed her weapons and dully strapped them on her body. Thirty minutes later she crossed into New Dawn Territory and made her way deeper.
She saw a few Outsiders, some tried stopping her but once they got a better look or scent at her, they just let her passed. She patrolled for a few hours then, not minding that her revealing clothes did nothing to hide her body nor did nothing to help with the cold. No, she had boots on and so she wanted to run.
By the time she was home, she came to the conclusion that she was asexual. She sat on her porch and laid down, allowing the soft snow to melt against her clothes as she stared at the moon. She didn’t feel guilty for the way she behaved tonight. She wanted an answer and she had gotten it. She wasn’t into people, males or females. She just didn’t feel that way about them.
In a way, she was happy. She never wanted a mate to begin with. She never wanted someone to come into her life and have them touch her and then have the realization that this was the person she belonged with. She didn’t believe that shit. So she was happy she was asexual. She was proud of herself for finding that out tonight.
She was fine with being alone. She didn’t need that many people, just her family, her pack and Reaver. She didn’t need nor want a mate. Now? She didn’t need to have one. Now? If one came along, Katie would know that she wouldn’t feel anything for them because she was asexual and she didn’t feel those types of things. With a smile, Katie got up and then walked back to her room.
She tossed and turned until she fell asleep. When she woke up, she was crying. Katie didn’t ask herself why and just swiped at the tears and got dressed for another day.
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Post by Ventia on Jan 19, 2015 6:12:37 GMT -5
Katie stared at herself in the mirror of her bathroom. She had just taken her injection for the night and was now staring at the wound that the syringe made before it quickly healed. The syringe was still in her hand, the phone was against the counter by her toothbrush and she knew all she had to do was unlock it and call Reaver. She didn’t.
Katie forced herself to put the used syringe down, forced herself to extend her arm and drop it. Her body didn’t want to listen and instead she found herself bringing the syringe closer to her body, against her bare stomach and she stared at her reflection.
Katie stared at the person who held a syringe to her stomach and then slowly lifted the syringe so that only the needle was against her skin. Slowly, Katie watched as syringe slowly moved sideways, trailing a burning thin path to the left until it met the air.
Katie stared hard at the stomach and soon, small specks of blood leaked off of the thin long wound before it healed. Katie watched as the person reached down and ran her finger across the healed cut, bringing the specks of blood to her lips and tasting it.
An image of herself, lying on a snowy ground filled Katie’s eyes and she watched as she gnawed on her arm. She watched as the skin ripped and as blood poured and squirted out from her until her snowy white bones peaked at her.
Pain made the image go away and Katie found herself looking at the reflection of a woman again. Her eyes casted downwards and she saw that the syringe was needle deep into the girl’s stomach. Katie frowned and leaned towards the reflection, wanting to touch the syringe. Her finger met the cool surface of the mirror while the syringe pushed deeper inside of her from Katie pressing up against the counter of the sink.
With a wince, Katie pulled back and glanced down. She stared dully at the sight of the syringe embedded into her and then felt her skin healing over the syringe and stopping the blood. Katie flicked at the syringe with her fingers and found herself wincing again at the dull pain. Again. Again. Again. Katie watched the blood go down her flat stomach and reach her white panties.
Katie pulled at the syringe, gasped at how she tore her skin off and clutched at the counter as the blood rolled down her stomach and started staining the top of her panties. The syringe fell inside of the sink and for a minute, Katie ignored it as she watched her skin repair itself.
She moaned out and leaned up, straighten her back and thanking the fact that the shower was going and the only thing coming out of her bathroom was the loud sounds of her music and the scent of lavender from her bubble bath. Thankfully that scent overpowered her blood so she wasn't worried of her mother or brother barging into her room and bathroom and seeing her in this way.
Quickly, Katie reached out to take away and dispose of the syringe when she caught sight of it. Skin clung to the top and she didn't know but the sight of her own skin made her knees buckle and soon she was throwing up into her toilet, the syringe still held tightly in her hand.
After a few minutes, she flushed the toilet and moved back to the sink, washed out her mouth and then stared at her reflection again. On the left side of her body, from her lower stomach to the middle of her thigh it was all covered in blood. Including her panties. It…made her smile.
Katie sighed and then threw the syringe away, knowing she’d have to dispose of it in a different manner tonight. She got in her bath, washed the blood off of her and then cleaned up the little mess she made before wrapping a towel around her and leaving the bathroom.
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Post by Ventia on Jan 19, 2015 7:06:07 GMT -5
Katie was on the other side of the mountain, where it wasn’t covered in snow and the lakes weren’t frozen. She was bored, Reaver was preparing for graduation and college so she didn’t want to bother him and honestly, she was getting sick of the winter season. So she went on a journey that consisted of mountain climbing and getting hurt as she impatiently made her way down the other side of the mountain.
She got a few scrapes but she was alive and walking through the small forest over here. She felt giggly at watching the trees which weren’t frozen! It improved her mood and yeah, she ran around like a little kid and climb a few trees and sang a few songs but hey, that was natural after freaking months of seeing only cold ass snow.
Now, she was just grinning ear to ear as she skipped through the hot forest. She didn’t even mind the heat and instead had just taken off some of her layers. She left her home wearing a thick coat, two pants, two socks and her boots and even a beanie and some muffins. Now? She had stripped off the coat, the shirt and was only in her sweat bra, she had stripped off the two jeans and was only now in her tights and she had taken off a pair of socks and only put back her shoes on because she hadn’t wanted to walk on any sharp rocks. Been there, done that. Wasn’t fun.
Her hair was up too and she was now just drinking some water as she enjoyed the day out. After a bit, she encountered a little stream so she decided to follow it. She slipped a few times on the wet rocks but soon she was by a large body of water and with a grin, she kicked off her shoes and threw her bag to the floor before going over into the water.
She squealed, it was cold but not like the ones over the mountain, a refreshing cold that made her want to swim inside of it. With another grin, Katie moved back to the dirt and took off her tights and socks. She didn’t mind if she wet everything else.
With a excited laugh she moved into the water, going deeper until her feet couldn’t touch the bottom and then she dove under, getting her hair wet and then after being under water for as long as possible, she swam to the surface and gasped for air, before giggling. She swam for a bit until she got tired and then floated on her back, watching the sky and lazily moving through the now warm water.
“Isn’t this just great?” She turned towards Reaver but then realization hit.
He wasn’t here. He was preparing to leave. He wouldn’t be here every time she found another spot that they’d enjoy. She wouldn’t be able to turn sideways and watch his expression at the places they found. Never. At least not for another few years.
Realization hit home and she lost balanced, going under and instead of pushing away and getting to the surface, she took comfort at how she choked under the water and how she drifted down.
She clutched at a rock and the night had come. She realized then that she had passed out; she didn’t even want to think about how she survived and just thanked the gods that she did. Once she got control of her body, she swam to the edge and then walked on the rocks going to her bag. She was cold and wet. She hadn’t expected staying long and now she was soaked and had no sun to dry her.
Quickly she tore off the wet underwear and bra and grabbed at her shirt, dried herself with that and then reached for the thick sweater and put that on before putting on her two pairs of jeans plus the tights. Sitting, she put the socks and shoes and then stared at the mountain a few miles away. She’d never make the climb tonight and wondered briefly if she should ask her mom to find a way to get her. But no, with a sigh, Katie grabbed her phone and texted her mom, telling her she decided to patrol tonight as well and to not wait up for her. Then, she grabbed her bag and moved around, trying to find shelter.
She felt tired, her stomach growled and she wanted food. After an hour of finding no shelter and finding that she was getting really cold, Katie decided to shift. With the bag in her mouth, Katie padded to a dry place. It had rained while she was unconscious after all. Once she found her spot, she dropped the bag and moved through the forest for dinner. She hunted and came back, shifted and then made a fire before shifting again and gnawing at the animal. Once she was done and only one bone remained-she ate the other ones, Katie just got comfortable and stared at the flames. A few times she had to go and get some more wood but it was a steady strong flame and the cracklings ushered her to sleep.
When she awoke, she was surprised to find something sleeping tucked under her arm. A fox. Katie frowned at it and started to growl when realization hit. She had eaten a fox. This fox was a babe. Oh god. She ate its mother… Katie wanted to throw up but didn’t and instead watched the fiery red fox. It was a babe still and probably sought her out for warmth. Katie felt horrible for what she had done and regretted it, especially when she saw the bone. Looking away, Katie concentrated only on the fox and slowly nudged its red fur with her nose. The fox opened its blue eyes and Katie fell in love. She rubbed the fox with her nose and then got up. The fox ran a few feet but watched interestingly as Katie threw soil on the fire and ended it. Katie leaned down and pushed her head through the straps of her bag and then ran after the fox.
It ran and Katie hunted it. Soon, she had it in her mouth and she made her way back to the mountain. It was a bit harder to get over the mountain in her wolf form because she never done it before but she had gotten through it and was soon moving through the cold ass snow again.
She kept going at a steady pace until she was in front of her home. Once there, she wasn’t surprised to find the door open and she entered it. Jareth was sitting in the front and when he saw her, he frowned.
“Is that a rat?”
Katie grunted and moved towards the fireplace after slamming the door closed with her tail. Once she was sitting there, she let the fox go and watched as it scurried away to hide under the couch.
“Mom! Katie brought a rat home!”
“What!” Ventia said as Katie growled at her brother before standing on her four paws and moving towards him.
Jareth rolled his eyes and stood up. The fact that even in her wolf form he was still taller made her growl harder.
“Oh shut up,”
Katie raised an eyebrow and then tackled him down to the ground, he might be taller but she was faster and stronger in this form. A few crashes, shatters, yowls, shouts, painful yells, and spattered blood later, Jareth was sitting on the table while Katie was near the couch that the red fox had hidden and Ventia was in the middle in between them, shouting at them and reprimanding them.
Another few hours later, Katie was in her room, curled in her bed with the fox close to her heart. She smiled at the baby and then with the fox in her arms, fell into a sleep that for once wasn’t interrupted with nightmares.
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Post by Ventia on Feb 19, 2015 18:01:29 GMT -5
The first night home after five days of being held in Voss' command Katie was taken to the Infirmary. There her wounds were treated and she was washed down, blood and urine samples were taken and she had to go through a series of tests. After describing her fight with Voss and telling her mother that she was injected once with silver, was exposed to silver gas and had a silver brand mark on her neck, Katie was then going under critical care as they made sure to stabilize her silver levels and made sure that all her bones healed correctly.
She stayed in the Infirmary for almost a day and then afterwards she was forced to make a official report of everything that had happened. That was what bothered her the most but her mother was relentless and two hours later, Katie gave a semi detailed explanation of her five days at the caves. When she was taken back to her house, she was placed in her room and wasnt allowed to leave until her mother told her she could.
Katie didnt care. At least, not at that moment. She was still in shock, too many things occurring at once that she didnt know what to do. She stared down at the bed...it was soft...Katie fought back a cry and started undressing, she still had the same clothes on that her mother had put on her on Voss' medical table. Even though she had been scrubbed down by her own mother, Katie could still feel him around her, could still smell around her, could still taste him on her lips...Katie closed her eyes and tugged down on the pants after she had kicked off her shoes. Then came her shirt and then the rest. She walked to the door, locked it and then moved back inside the room, closing the curtains of her windows and moving to the bathroom. She hesitated for a second and then entered, flipping the light on and getting a good look of herself for the first time in what seemed like forever.
Her face was paler than usual, dark circles under her eyes which were clouded with uncertainty. She stared lower, concentrating on her neck...dark hickies covered her throat and she gently stroked one. Memories of Voss sucking hard on her skin was instantly brought to her mind and she gulped, cupping her throat with her hand and squeezing, remembering how he had done that too...Katie shook herself out of it and pulled her hair to the side and stared at the bite mark that he had gave her.
She traced it and felt his fingers which made her turn and glance at the brand mark at the back of her neck. When Ventia had saw it, she was about to turn back in the car and drive back to the caves but she had Katie still and decided that later, later she would kill the man who hurt Katie the same way Keith hurt her. But Katie...Katie didnt know. She just stared at the brand mark, knowing that there was no chance of it healing due to her condition. Her fingers shifted from his bite mark to the brand mark and she trembled, feeling him caress her neck again as he pulled her close to him.
Katie bit her lip, tasting blood and using that as a pillar so that she didnt get lost in the memories. She turned back, staring down at her chest. Another bite mark covered her left breast and hickies covered her skin there. Bruises covered her hips and her thighs, he had held her tightly and she was surprised that there was no burn marks on her. He had been so hot against her to the point that steam was rising off of him. Katie let out a shaky laugh, maybe she was on drugs. There was no way that someone could have steam rising from their shoulders. Katie brushed the thoughts away, running her palms down her body, trying to find all the marks that told that she's been touched.
There were plenty more but those were the major ones. Katie stared at herself, not recognizing the person staring back and then she sighed, went in her tub and put the hot water on. She stayed motionless from underneath the spray of the water for more than a hour and in the last five minutes, washed and conditioned her hair and scrubbed her body. She dried herself and then walked back into her room, pulling a fresh long shirt from her drawer and picking up the pile of dirty clothes, moving it to the hamper before dropping it with a small cry.
There.
She cupped her mouth, fresh tears covering her face and hand at the sight of the red silk handkerchief. It was his and the realization hit her so hard that she fell to the floor and drew her knees up, muffling her sobs into her hands even as the scent of him seemed to rise from that small cloth and curl around her. She didnt know how long she stayed there in nothing but a long white shirt and sobbing her eyes out but she found herself getting up and crawling under her bed, leaving the lights on because she couldnt stand the dark...it bought too much memories to mind...and she waited there until sleep took over.
She must have fallen asleep because she woke up to something warm pressing against her stomach. She sighed, dreams mixing in with reality, as that warmth increased into something hot and cover her entire body. She shifted on the bed, feeling that hotness follow her and pull her in closer. Katie shuddered from the memory and cried out in her sleep, remembering how that hotness had consumed her whole being. Memories played out, causing Katie's chest to rise and fall faster and her legs to widen, the burning increased. She started to mumble, her fists clenched in the sheets, her body sleek with sweat. That burning in her stomach increasing and traveling south of her body.
Katie screamed and came awake with a start, finding Whiskey curled on her bare stomach and opening her caramel eyes to stare questioningly at her. Katie then started to laugh and then started to cry, catching sight of the red handkerchief on the floor before grabbing the covers and wrapping them around her, shaking herself and wishing that someone could just make all of this end before she drove herself crazy.
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Post by Ventia on Feb 25, 2015 19:37:37 GMT -5
Ventia crossed her arms under her chest, her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail and she wore light makeup. She wore heels, a white blouse and dark jeans and she was sitting down in one of the doctor’s rooms. Ventia never enjoyed hospitals since she was young but she's come to appreciate the Infirmary at least and to deal with being inside the building and not showing her disgust towards the white walls and the damn bleach smell. It was because of the Infirmary that her children were alive and for that, Ventia would stomach her hatred.
However, that hatred built-not because of the Infirmary itself but because her daughter once again landed in it. Honestly, Ventia didn’t know what was going through her child’s mind. She could deal with having her daughter sneak out at night to go clubbing and to even take ridiculous long walks but she couldn’t handle her daughter being kidnapped, having a brand on her neck like she did-it was quite ironic-, being marked by some crazy man, then allowing that same man to go inside the pack, not call her, and then land up in the infirmary unconscious and bloodied after making sure that the man who hurt her was safe outside the border?
It was outrageous. She didn’t know what was going through that child’s mind. She should have stayed in that cave and waited for the bastard and killed him when she had the chance. Ventia bristled, angry at her son as well. How dare he leave his sister unattended? Oh he was going to have an earful once she had her hands on him. Maybe a beating as well. Let him land in the hospital and see how it felt. Not that she would actually do that to Jareth; Jareth was delicate compared to Katie. She had to be careful of his inability to heal correctly and the blood clots. She wasn’t easy on him, oh no, she made him go through the same hell Katie went through she just didn’t mortally harm him as she did Katie.
She pursed her lips; of course she knew Katie was going to be healed. It wasn't the first time she had to fend off a wolf and got her arms shredded. Nor was it the first time a bone broke. It was a first time her lips got ripped though. That was an interesting bit of information that she received but it still didn’t mean anything. Kaitlyn would heal. She’ll hate having to be confined to the bed but that was her punishment for allowing a man to walk over her and her pack.
Well it ran in the family she supposed. Ventia leaned against the chair, closing her eyes and sighing. Her mother, Kaitlyn, had allowed her father to take her away from the pack. Sure, her mother loved her father but still. Then Ventia herself had allowed a man to run over her and her pack. Now, it seemed her daughter was going to make the same mistake. To hell with that, Ventia would make sure that Katie didn’t follow in her mother’s and grandmother’s footsteps.
She didn’t understand why she was still here in this room. She had been given the information about Katie’s current situation. She didn’t understand what else needed to be talked about. The doctor sure was taking her dear sweet time too. It was getting Ventia aggravated so she opened her eyes and leaned forward, tapping her nails into the wood desk.
Another few minutes passed before the same doctor came in, holding a file of papers and moving around the desk to stare at Ventia. She straightened and rolled her neck, silently ordering him to get this over with. He didn’t and instead started rolling his thumbs together. It caused Ventia to get even more aggravated but she forced the anger down, knowing that it would be misplaced if she vented it out on him.
“You said you had something important to tell me?” Ventia scooted the chair closer, folding her arms on the desk and smiling at the man, wanting him to relax so that she could leave already and check on Katie herself.
“Yes yes yes…it concerns your daughter-”
“If this is about Katie’s injuries then I’m already aware doctor. I've been debriefed by a nurse and an Outsider. Now if there’s nothing else that’s of importance, I would like to leave and see my daughter with my own eyes and make sure she's fine.” Ventia started to stand until she saw the man hold up a hand. Ventia sat back down and clenched her jaw to stop from demanding the man just tell her already.
“It’s not about her current situation. Matter of fact it’s not a problem anymore but you should still be informed. I would inform Miss Black herself but she's still unconscious and I gather she’d take the news better if it’s coming from a loved one.”
“Alright then, please continue.” Ventia’s tone was light, now that the doctor said that it wasn’t a problem any longer, there was no reason to worry about it. She was barely listening to what he had to say after that and in reality, the only reason why she was still here was to amuse him and get this over with. “Your daughter was a month and a half pregnant until she shifted. During the shift, Miss Black lost the fetus and we removed it from her body. No harm had come to your daughter but I felt-”
“She…she was pregnant?” Ventia trembled in shock, anger and pain. Her baby girl had been touched by a foul man and got pregnant from him. Then she lost her baby. This was just too cruel. Were they playing a joke on her? Making her daughter go through what she had. Was this some cruel joke? Didn’t Ventia do everything just to make sure that her children would be safe and not have to go through the same pain that she had?
“Yes, five to six weeks we suspect. Maybe less depending on the date of the intercourse. But she was pregnant but like I said Ms. Black, your daughter is fine-”
“My daughter is not fine. You will tell no one of this. No one is to know of her past situation. Understood? Now then, thank you for telling me in detail the extent to my daughters current injuries. You have my contact information, if there is anything else please do not hesitate to give me a call. Goodbye doctor and thank you for taking care of my daughter.” Then Ventia stood and walked out, her heels clicking sharply against the floor was the only indication of how angry she was. There were more emotions other than anger but she pushed those aside.
She wouldn’t allow herself to think of the unborn child or worse children; she wouldn’t allow herself to think of those innocent babes dying because of ignorance and wouldn’t allow herself to think of holding her grandchildren. She definitely wouldn’t allow herself to think of Katie’s reaction because there would be no reaction. She would keep this bit of information to her grave. She didn’t know if Katie inherited her love and weakness for children, she didn’t know Katie’s beliefs on this subject or if she could look past her kidnapper and love the children despite anything. No. It was better to pretend that Katie had never been pregnant to begin with.
Katie obviously didn’t know or else she would have never shifted. Why burden her child even more? The poor stupid girl was confused about her kidnapper much more than Ventia liked. There was no use to give Katie have an excuse to feel something for the bastard. She knew all too well the power of children. No reason at all.
Ventia moved into Katie’s room, having sent Cinder and her pups away to be guarded by Darian for the night. Katie was still unconscious so Ventia moved to the chair that sat by her bed and waited. She waited three hours before Katie fidgeted, unable to sleep due to the news, and instead taking note of her daughter’s wounds. Half an hour later, Katie started to mumble, her eyes moving under her eyelids. Five minutes later, those eyes fluttered open and ten closed. It took Katie a while to fully awaken but when she did, she wished she hadn’t because the look on her mother’s face was livid.
“Hi Mom…”
“What happened today Kaitlyn?”
“Oh you know the usual. Defending the pack and beating up some bad boys.” Katie tried to sit up, groaned and closed her eyes again but not because of the pain but because she didn’t want to meet her mother’s silver gaze. Silver wasn’t good. Katie learned that as she grew up. When Mom’s eyes were silver…well it was best to stay out of her way and say amen to anything the woman wanted.
“Are you being smart with me young lady?”
“No.”
“Then answer me. Now.”
“Didn’t Uncle D tell you? I'm tired Mom, can I rest and then when I wake up, I’ll give you the report?”
“No. You're awake right now and I'm waiting. Do not make me repeat myself Kaitlyn V. Black-Trevor.”
Katie held back another groan of frustration, thankful her Mom couldn’t see her rolling her eyes at her full name. “Fine. Voss showed up at the house, smashed my lamp and put fire to my desk. I sent him on his way thinking he’ll be smart and leave. He didn’t, he attacked Cinder who happens to be his ex-prisoner and the mother of his children. I got a call from Cinder and went to help. I attacked, he attacked, and we got hurt. I called for Uncle Darian and he escorted Voss out. Then Darian took me here. Happy?”
Ventia was glad her daughter had her eyes closed because at least then, she didn’t see how Ventia flinched to the mentioning of children. Instead when Katie finally opened her eyes, Ventia had her arms crossed over her chest, was leaning back on the chair and staring at her daughter with an expression that made Katie wish she had kept her eyes closed. Sometimes her mom unnerved the living shit out of Katie.
“No. I'm not happy. Why didn’t you call me when you first knew of Voss’ presence in our home? Do you feel something for this man? Are you allowing your emotions to-”
“No! No Mom. Please just stop.”
“Stop? Stop?! Have you seen yourself Kaitlyn? Have you’ve looked into the mirror lately? Have you seen the way you look right now? Arms shredded. Lips ripped. A broken bone. Yet you want me to stop? From trying to understand why you allow such a man to hurt you? Are you submissive towards him? Do you like that sort of thing? Please talk to me Kaitlyn. Let me understand because no matter what, I can’t wrap my mind around why you would let some bastard-”
“Mom! Mom please…you don’t understand-”
“Exactly Kaitlyn. I don’t understand so fucking tell me already what it is that you would let a rogue go through your home-your pack-would let a rogue hurt your friend and yet still let him go? Alive? There’s something going on here and I want to know now.”
“What do you want me to say Mom? Because I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know. Please…just stop. I'm tired Mom. I'm tired and you’re making all of this worse.” Katie closed her eyes again, feeling her eyes burning and knowing that if her mother kept pushing she would break apart.
“You need to stop. Stop thinking about anything that revolves around Voss. If you ever see him again, run in the other direction. You find out that he’s on pack territory, you call the higher ups. You do not approach him. Okay? It’s okay not to know baby. You don’t have to know. Just forget it. Forget about him and don’t try to find ways to understand what’s going on. You don’t have to. It’s over.”
Katie pushed a smile onto her face and nodded and when Ventia bent over to place a kiss on Katie’s forehead, Katie allowed the fake smile to drop and closed her eyes again, swallowing the words that wanted to come out. She was tired. She wasn’t going to get into it with her mother. But…it wasn’t that easy. That much Katie knew. What she would do if she ever saw Voss again? Katie didn’t know. For some reason, she wished Reaver was here. Everything had been much simpler when she had her best friend next to her.
“Go to sleep then and we’ll talk more when you’re fully rested. I expect a report from you and Cinder. Now sleep.” Ventia switched most of the lights off, knowing of her daughter’s new-found dislike for darkness and then made sure her wounds weren’t bleeding through the bandages. She tucked Katie in, not surprised to see her fast asleep and then pushed Katie’s hair away from her neck. Ventia touched the side of her daughters brand and reached up to her own neck, running her fingers down her own brand, following the curve of the ‘K’.
It was an ironic cruel joke and Ventia wasn’t laughing.
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Post by Ventia on Mar 7, 2015 22:49:06 GMT -5
“What is that?” Ventia asked once Katie was removed from the room. They had done another deep checkup for Katie, determining if the fetus was completely taken out of the girl’s body and to make sure her arm was fine. Both were but something had caught Ventia’s sight while looking at the scans and waited until Katie was gone to ask about it. She didn’t want to worry Katie more than she already was. Plus, her daughter was already getting aggravated that she was staying in this Infirmary for longer than was needed for her arms.
The doctor scratched at his head but grabbed the plastic bag and handed it over to Ventia. She took it and fingered the chip through the plastic. She didn’t need to be told what this was. She knew. God she knew. “A tracking device. In my daughter and you didn’t think that I would want to know about this?” Ventia stood, clenching the device in her fist and glaring at the doctor.
The doctor stammered and backed up a few places as though Ventia would have hurt him. It sounded like a very good idea at this moment, first the man telling her about Katie being pregnant and now that Katie had a tracking device in her body. It angered Ventia and hell, she wanted to smash this doctor’s face in-a mixture of her pent up rage for the way her daughter was treated and because she fucking hated hospitals but…Ventia breathed and threw the bag down.
“Did you end the connection?” She asked through gritted teeth, sitting down and crossing her legs again to stop from pacing the room.
“Yes.”
Ventia nodded, knowing she couldn’t destroy the evidence because it would be needed later. Still, she hated this. She wondered who did this-it wasn’t Voss, he wasn’t that smart for this. The bitch then. Ventia thought of the doctor that she used as a hostage only because Katie wouldn’t let her kill the bitch. She regretted it now, knowing that she was the one who injected Katie with the tracking device. It made sense, the bitch was about to inject Katie with a syringe full of silver. Which was given to the healers here so that they could counter the effects that the bitch’s silver was doing to her daughter.
Ventia clenched her fist around the arms of the chair and arched her neck upwards, her teeth clenched and her body tensed…then she breathed out roughly and opened her eyes, swirls of silver interacting with the dark grey color of her eyes. “Alright then. When can she leave?”
“At the soonest, in two days.”
“Then I’ll see you around doctor.” Ventia got up and escaped quickly, needing to get out of that room before she attacked the good man. She went back to Katie’s room, ran her finger across her sleeping daughter’s forehead and kissed her brow before turning and leaving the room. She was about to close the door when there was a buzzing sound that caught her attention. She turned, went towards the closet and pulled it open, showing a bag with all of Katie’s belongings.
She squatted down and dug around the bag until she found her daughter’s phone. She quickly unlocked it, knowing her daughters password and then moved towards the bathroom where she wouldn’t disrupt Katie’s sleep. She sat down on the toilet and opened the message and waited. It was dark but after a few moments, Ventia saw. Her daughter was tied to a table and was talking to the doctor. Ventia watched for several minutes until she saw Voss come inside the room.
Was it a shock to see her daughter being raped? Being raped and then begging for it? Yes. It was a shock. The video was hours long, even recording after that dreadful activity had stopped and she watched as they were curled together on the bed. She fast-forward it and watched as Voss left the bed, she stared at him as he glanced down at Katie and when he bent down, kissing her goodbye, Ventia almost threw the phone against the wall. Instead she closed it and left the bathroom.
Her daughter was still asleep and for the first time in Ventia’s life, she stared at Katie as though she were a stranger. Disappointment filled Ventia at that moment and she didn’t know what to do. She had failed her daughter. She failed Ivan. Her daughter grew up to be as corrupted as she was. It was all Ventia’s fault. By God, Ventia hated this feeling. She needed some way to fix this. Needed to release the pent up emotions.
Ventia left and went straight home. She transferred the video from Katie’s phone to her computer and the phone number of the person. Then she went to the Town and changed Katie’s number and blocked that number from ever sending a message or calling Katie’s new phone number.
Before long she was back in that hospital room, watching as her daughter slept peacefully on the bed but only seeing her and Voss on another bed. Ventia slowly got up, sitting on the bed and taking Katie’s hand in hers. For a long moment, Ventia just held her daughters hand and rubbing her thumb against the skin, tears forming at the back of her eyes.
Would things be different if she had stayed with Ivan? That was the question that always harassed her mind. Would Ventia be happy? Would her kids be safe and happy? This would never have happened. That much was true. Ivan would never have permitted it. He would have locked Katie in a room for months-years even just so that she didn’t get involved in some crazy man. He would never have to see his daughter ripped to pieces because he wouldn’t allow it. Yet Ventia had. She let Katie have her space; she gave her that freedom and now look at her.
Ventia felt the tears build and she clenched her jaw, her fingers still gentle on Katie’s hand. Slowly, to give her something to do, Ventia started to unroll the bandages that were covering her daughter’s arms. She trailed her fingers against the faint white scar lines that covered Katie’s arms and bought her arm to Ventia’s lips. “Please…please stop making me worry about you. Stop chasing after a man who is only going to hurt you. Stop trying to figure yourself out. It’s only going to hurt you more.” Ventia closed her eyes hard, forcing the tears back and brushing her lips against her daughter’s tender skin again.
“Stop becoming like me.” Ventia whispered, her voice small and shaky and for once, she wished that Ivan was here to hold her again. She wished anyone was here to hold her. To let her not be the strong one even if it was just for a few seconds. “Don’t be me Katie baby.” Ventia hid her face in Katie’s arm and shook, feeling weak and defeated because she couldn’t do anything to stop this. She couldn’t do anything to stop Katie from following in her footsteps.
“Just…be smarter than me. Be stronger. Don’t become like this old woman Katie.” Ventia whispered before straightening, her face set in hard planes and the tears now gone. In silence she finished unwrapping the bandages and then bandaged her daughter with fresh ones. After checking her levels and tucking Katie back in, Ventia left.
It was only hours later that Katie woke up but not alone. She stared at the profile sitting in the chair close to her bed and smiled, thinking it was her mother. It wasn’t, the moon illuminated the room and suddenly there he was. Voss.
Katie’s breath caught in her throat but she didn’t scream. He looked so sad, staring at her as though he regretted ever hurting her. He looked so sincere and…Katie closed her eyes and whimpered, soon she felt his warm hand cup her cheek, caressing her lips and the thin white lines at the corner of her lips where he had ripped it.
“I'm sorry.” His hard voice now sounded defeated, it made Katie open her eyes because she found that she didn’t enjoy this new tone in his voice.
“Why?” She croaked it out, licking her lips because her mouth was dry. “Why are you sorry? Because you didn’t get to finish the job? Because you didn’t get to hurt and burn Cinder’s face off? Because you didn’t get to kidnap me again? Is that why you are sorry Voss?”
She watched as those orange red eyes lowered in guilt and her heart clenched at the sight of it. But then those eyes lifted upwards again and a cruel smirk filled Voss’ face. For some reason, the cruelty of his expression reassured her and she smiled even as his hand clenched her shoulders, digging those claws of his into her skin and spilling her blood.
“You know what Voss?” Katie said softly, lifting her hand to touch his face and realizing that she was crying. “I feel sorry for you. Because of your pride and your hate and the desire to never be unbeatable and to never allow weakness into your life…well you will never have love either. And that’s the saddest thing ever Vossy. You will never be able to find love. You will never be able to appreciate it and care for it. You'll kill it, just like you wanted to end Cinder, just like you fucked up a relationship with your children, you killed that chance of love. And now? Now you ruined what little chance that we had.”
Katie smiled through her tears and bent forward, kissing his lips before leaning back on the bed. His fingers digging deeper into her shoulders, crushing her bones underneath the pressure. “Go ahead, kill me Voss. Because that’s all you’re good at doing. Killing.” Katie watched as steam floated up from his body and didn’t flinch at his snarl and when he closed his claws around her neck, all Katie did was close her eyes, smiling even as he squeezed…
Snap.
Katie opened her eyes at the sound and was met with two pale hands, she stared back and saw her brother, Jareth who was looking expectedly at her.
“Did you…?”
“I clapped to get you up.” Jareth shrugged as he sat back on the chair, crossing his ankles and picking up his guitar again. He ran his fingers across the strings and smiled at his little sister as she tried to gather her thoughts.
“Where’s Mom?” Katie pushed herself up, pushing back her bangs and tucking it behind her ears. The dream unsettled her but made one thing clear. She was done. Voss could never be the person she wanted him to be. It was over. Katie sighed and bought her feet up, patting the bed and waiting until her brother got back up and sat next to her. Once he did, Katie snuggled against his side and closed her eyes.
“Play my song please.”
Jareth didn’t tell her that he didn’t know where their mother was at. He had no clue whatsoever. He himself was worrying after her, she had become so…unsettled after all of this but he knew that if he told Katie about all the times he found Ventia broken well, Katie would worry and blame herself.
“Whiskey Lullabies? Alright kiddo.” Jareth shifted his arm and bought the guitar close to his body in a way that allowed her to still sag against him. He stared down at his sister’s face before running his fingers along the instrument, singing softly in her ear and noting how she seemed to relax at the sound. He knew why, this used to be one of Mom’s favorite songs to sing to them when they were kids. He smiled as he sang and played.
For the rest of the day anyone who walked past this room would hear sounds of a guitar and two voices. And even when Katie had fallen asleep deep in the night, the songs still played on because Jareth knew that at least this lullaby would keep both their nightmares away.
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Post by Ventia on Mar 27, 2015 8:13:27 GMT -5
Following the days that Katie was released from the Infirmary, she worked really hard at getting back to the way that it used to. She started patrolling, she started training with her mother, she started studying different subjects-currently medicine and specifically how she could make the medicine that was needed for her body by herself, she started doing jobs that her mother assigned to her, she started dressing herself up more, she started hiking, she started interacting more with her pack-making sure that Cinder and her pups were alright, she started getting used to her wolf, she started helping around in the Infirmary…Katie did everything to make herself go back to the past.
She had on a smile every second; grinning at people, talking fast and loud, using extravagant hand motions…she made sure that she looked happy. That she seemed happy. That she was happy. It was all going well. Really it was, Katie started to lose herself in the great lie and started to truly believe she was fine until she finally convinced herself that she was fine! She was fine. She was great. Yes, she was happy-
Ha…no.
The deaths.
They were so sudden that it shook Katie’s façade and everything that she tried so hard to achieve came tumbling down. The deaths showed her that it was a lie. That Katie was not happy. That Katie was not the same. That Katie was not the person she was before all of this happened. It shook her core and she soon began slowly losing her mind.
But this was obvious because Victoria had died. And who was Victoria? Well she was Reaver’s dear sweet mother. And who was Reaver? Reaver was Katie’s best fucking friend…
...Katie avoided Reaver.
Reaver was one of the only ones who truly saw Katie for who she was. He knew of Katie’s personality, of her opinions, and her choices. He knew her! Yet…Katie didn’t even know herself. Shame. Katie was so shameful of who she had now become. She couldn’t face Reaver now that she had lost herself. She couldn’t face Reaver now that she was a broken, lost, insecure, self-loathing, bitch little girl. She just couldn’t…
And that wasn’t just all.
Before Reaver left, their little bet forced her to realize something. That bet when they pretended to be couple and the first one who couldn’t handle it anymore would lose and have to do the other bidding. Well that little innocent game had forced Katie into acknowledging the truth. She loved Reaver more than she thought. Being his girlfriend, even pretending, was something that Katie found to be so perfect and so right that there was just no question about it. She loved him.
But then she got kidnapped and well Voss happened.
He branded her. He marked her. He stole her virginity. He stole her identity. Even when she “escaped” she didn’t really because all those days that passed, Voss was still there, torturing her mind and body until she started to lose it, until she started to think that maybe she loved this man too. Maybe he was the one? It was because of foolish ideas and thoughts that caused her pack to get in pain. It was because of her! Because of her indecisive little ass that Voss managed to hurt those she cared about.
Because of her, Cinder almost had her face melted. Because of her, Lottie is now afraid. Because of her, she allowed a rogue to run and stomp on her pack and get away with just a few scratches. It was all her fault. All because she thought that maybe…just maybe Voss could change for her. Well look what happened.
How could she look at Reaver, the man she knew she loved, after knowing that there was a part of her that wanted Voss? How could she look at Reaver, the man she knew she loved, after knowing that she enjoyed having sex with Voss and that she wanted more from Voss? How could she look at Reaver, the man she knew she loved, after she knew that if Voss didn’t fuck with her pack and Cinder, that she would love him too? How?
How could she look at Reaver? Maybe she could with that. Maybe she could…but now? Now that his mother…the woman who he loved more than Katie herself…now that she was dead? How could Katie face him? How could she face Reaver with everything? She couldn’t. She couldn’t face him. She couldn’t even look at him. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t.
Matter of fact, how could she face anyone? How could she face Alpha Azalea knowing that she knew of a rogue inside their territory and didn’t say anything? That it was her fault that the Pack House was broken into and a pack mate was injured? How could she face Azalea when it was her fault? How? It was enough with seeing the look of disappointment on her mother’s face, Katie just couldn’t stand to see it on the woman that she admired. She just couldn’t.
It was becoming too much. Trying to place a mask on her face while going around the pack, making sure to smile at any one, Outsider or Pack Mate, so that they didn’t see the depression that was creeping into her face. Those horrible faces that her mother gave her when she believed that Katie wasn’t looking. The sight of Cinder and the still afraid Lottie…the knowledge that Reaver was somewhere, crying his eyes out or deep in depression because the mother he adored and loved was killed…the knowledge that any day her Alpha could drop by and talk with her…it was just too much to the point that Katie couldn’t breathe.
So when she went on one of her ‘hiking’ trips…well lets say it wasn’t really a hiking trip. She escaped, willingly leaving the Pack and taking everything that would help her in the future with the exception of her fox. Whiskey would draw too much attention. Next thing she knew, she was dying her hair a dark red, gotten a new identity courteously to some old friends and she had bought herself a motorcycle for transportation. She tossed her phone, broke her credit cards (she already took out all the money she had in the bank by this point) and did everything so that she was off the grid and then she moved into the Deadlands.
She made sure to be so far away from both the New Dawn and Vossy’s little cave that none of their members would be able to sense any news of her. And after three days of traveling with only a few breaks in between, Katie was far into the Deadlands that she knew that no one would know of her. At least, not with her new appearance and identity.
However, not so surprisingly because really it just seemed like Katie was a sucker for trouble, Katie was cornered by some fellow rogues. It was very simple, Katie was a attractive girl, she was driving a semi expensive bike and she had a big bookbag on…well what else was the rogues going to do? Of course, they were going to fuck her, take her shit and either kill her , leave her in a state where she wouldn’t be able to move for a while, or take her with them and sell her on a market. So Katie did the only thing she knew how to successfully do. Attack. It wasn’t a pretty fight but soon Katie was covered in blood and had dead bodies surrounding her. The blood…it triggered that same insane feeling that Katie first got in her first shift when she had been biting down on her forearm. At that time, she was obsessed with the taste of her own blood and she feel of her flesh being torn against her canines. She loved it and wanted more and more. Well…Katie felt that same rush and before she knew what she was doing she had shifted and started tearing the skin off of her attackers and chewing on it.
When she woke, she was curled around bones, some of the bones had skin still clinging on, some of the guts were sprayed on the floor and body parts not fully eaten…well it was enough for Katie to feel sick to her stomach and she vomited. She felt disgusted with herself and swore that she would never do it again.
But…it happened.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Until Katie started to realize that it wasn’t something to be disgusted about. That it was an amazing moment that she needed to cherish. That it was a delight. That it was fucking good. It came to the point that she craved for blood and flesh and waking up in a pile of bones. She craved it. God she loved it.
But it was boring being by herself. Katie craved for others who didn’t go down so fast and who could be her friends. It was why she was now friends with drug addicts and why she too soon became a drug addict. First it was simple, cigarettes and weed. Then some mollies, then some coke, then some acid drops, the some meth, then…well then Katie just stopped caring about the names and just took whatever they supplied her with.
She lived with them and in return, did some favors for them. Strange favors that Katie didn’t mind doing anymore. She also soon started working for them, her supply of money going down and this way she could earn a lot of money in such a small amount of time. It was a wonderful thing really.
Katie was high on life…at least that was what she wanted people to think.
She wanted to let people think that she was having the time of her life. That she was happy as hell. That she was just fucking great. But in reality? In reality she was just lying to herself again. She was so lonely. So disgusted. So angry at herself…she was lost.
Katie was just an empty shell that was silently screaming for someone to acknowledge and show her what life was really meant for. She was silently pleading for someone to take her away from there and to remind her of the person that she wanted to be again. She was screaming for her pack to find her. For her mother to find her. For someone. Anyone. She was screaming for help and she refused to let anyone hear her screams.
She was just so fucking lost.
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Post by Ventia on May 13, 2015 16:52:05 GMT -5
"They're weak right now bro. We can take them. They are just a bunch of puny little healers at this point. I doubt besides those Outsiders that they have roaming the place that they actually have any members who fight. Come on, this is the perfect time to do it. Then once we do, we can bring those heads in to the bounty houses and take control of the land and everyone would see us as fucking gods!" The voices shouldn't have been heard seeing as how the club's music pumped into everyone's ears and that it was ten times louder for a shifter but...Ivy heard.
"Let's go back to the house, I already got a strategy and then we and the group can go on over to the New Dawn. Come on, you know what I'm saying is true. Their foundation is shitty and they're in grief. Perfect time man. Come on."
"Come on." A different voice caught Ivy's attention and she turned to stare at the man. Tall, at a ridiculous height of six feet and eight inches with long hair that was braided straight down his back. He was of native descendant and had that almost caramel color to his skin. He had the darkest brown eyes that Ivy had seen and hard planes of his face. He was built like a monster and acted like one too when he wanted to.
Ivy bite her lip, she knew she had already accomplished her mission tonight and therefore she needed to head off back to the safe house but old memories and the loyalty towards her past self made her pause. Those men started to talk again, stupidly saying their plans out loud and it caused Ivy's new resolve to strength.
"I'm going to stay. Tell Clara I'll be home by at least tomorrow afternoon."
"But-"
Ivy laid out her hand against the wide chest, caught sight of a ridiculous small tattoo which merged with a bigger tattoo that went from her wrist all the way up to her shoulder and felt her heart squeeze. Her decision already made. "A girl can't have some fun? Go on David. I'll be fine. I'll ring you if necessary."
He hesitated, Ivy could understand, she was of course his first partner in a few years. Due to his height and others thoughts of him to be always angry, no one dared come near David. So he's been out doing solo jobs. Which weren't fun and caused him to be lonesome. So when she wanted to be his partner, he became clingy. Ivy didn't mind it, she enjoyed having a big teddy bear at her side constantly-it kept the bad memories away but on days like this, it backfired.
Still, he listened. Even if it was just to make her stay happy with him and soon he was moving out of the club and then out of the doors. Now, it was just a game of hide and seek.
It took two hours for the leader of the group to finally accepts Jim's idea. Then another hour for them to get up their lazy asses and go home. But before long, they were walking into the house and Ivy wasn't far behind. She circled the house, placing traps here and there in case some managed to sneak away from her. The traps were long and she had to make trips back to the car to get more supplies. But it seemed like Ramon, the leader, called everyone to the house before they got home since it's been already an hour and no one still came outside. Pretty sloppy.
Ten minutes later, Ivy was all set to go. She planned on killing them, all of them-even the humans because they threatened the New Dawn. It would be a easy enough task because killing was second nature, it would just be a tad bit complicated due to their numbers. Thirty two people holed up in that room. Damn, she should have brought the puppies.
With a sigh, Ivy kneeled down next to the duffel bag and took out her medicine kit. As of now, she was trained enough to be a full healer and that was what she was, a healer in her group. Of course, she also fought on the front lines but primarily she was a healer. Taking out the syringe, Ivy stared at the liquid inside. Then she stuck it in herself and pushed the solution she created inside her system. Next, she braided her dark red hair and wounded it up into a bun and secured it with hair ties. She had already changed her attire, not that it was difficult fighting in heels and a dress but seeing as how she just bought that dress, well she didn't want to get it dirty with blood. So, loose pants and a black shirt were her best friends.
She wrapped her wrists and then checked her supplies that were covering her body. Once that was over, she messaged Clara. Clara was her leader and quite frankly the only one Ivy trusted enough with the truth. Then again, she didn't have a choice. So she sent off a address and a time of pickup before stashing her duffel bag and lighting a cigarette. It helped with cooling the wolf and after she got a few inhales, she turned and took the snipper rifle and started walking. She leaned against a tree, took aim and closed her eyes.
Hearts filled her ears, as well as footsteps and words and smells. She didn't need to see to shoot, already checking the house she knew her bullets would fly past the weak structure. She breathed in the nicotine and pressed the trigger. Her lips lifted up in one corner as chaos occurred in the house. Still, she kept firing, hitting vital areas until she needed to reload. She started running, gun still in her hands as the doors started opening and her traps were released with a deadly hiss of the air. Knives set up in different heights were now embedded deeply into the skin of her enemies.
She shot as she ran, aiming for the back door where people were clustered and where it would take longer for her to get to. She wasn't quite worried about anyone escaping, she set up traps within a five mile radius which was why it took this long and since she knew where they were, she could dance around said traps. Still, she didn't feel like running after lone survivors. Might as well just hit them all now. Which was why she grabbed the grenade that was specially made for it had silver packed alongside the gunpowder.
She threw it with her good arm and slung the rifle around her shoulder, jumping onto the porch, avoiding the next trap and snapping one of the men's neck while using his body as a shield for the shock wave of the grenade. She counted to ten, all while shooting those who were running and then moved throughout the house for any living people. She found some, god their luck was astonishing and then killed them before running the others.
Like she said, it was a matter of hide and seek. She took a few hits, some fights lasted longer than the others, she almost got hit by her own traps thanks to the clumsiness of her enemies but soon she was hunting the man who brought this on himself. Yes, she left Jim for last. Guess one could say she was sentimental.
It wasn't a hard chase, she could have killed him minutes before but she wanted to make the man who threatened her old pack suffer both physically and mentally. But soon she grew tired and it wasn't long until he was grounded to a tree with knives with knives.
"You know what was your mistake? Threatening the New Dawn." Ivy spat out the blood in her mouth and examined her injuries. "You know, it's the first rule in the rule book, don't talk publicly about your damn plans. However it was quite funny hearing your plans. Damn, you wouldn't even have a surviving chance with the New Dawn. You would have been dead ten minutes in."
"Are you one of them?" Jim's voice shook and there was a hint of a hysterical tone that clung to his voice. "How did you know? How did they react so quickly? They can't, they can't even fend for themselves...how did they-"
"Alright honey, let me out a stop to it there. No, I'm not part of the New Dawn but that doesn't mean that they have allies. And that no place is safe for idiots like you to go blabbering on how easy it would be to kill them. As much as it was amusing, it was also irritating. Honestly, if you couldn't handle me, don't think about New Dawn. Anyways, I have this really annoying fallen angel who always wants me home in a certain time limit so I'm going to have to make this short. You're dying. I'm leaving. New Dawn stays safe. Good? Yes, I agree."
"Wait! Why? Why would you care then?" The man was stalling, trying to buy time for someone to help him. Too bad no one else was alive to do so. Still the words hit home and Ivy paused.
Why did she care what happened to the New Dawn. They could take care of themselves. She knew that the most. So why take the time and effort as well as the new wounds just to keep them safe? She wasn't even a part of them anymore. Ivy pressed her bloodied hand to her forehead, feeling a headache coming in and glared at the man who was making her remember more. Angry at herself and at her decisions, she took her anger out on Jim and slashed his throat and then went about disarming the remaining traps so that her mind could dull and be quiet.
By this time, the cleanup came. Ivy wasn't surprised when it was Clara herself. Instead she was thankful, it would be quicker this way and she could go back home and sleep.
"You're hurt."
"Some got lucky."
Clara pursed her lips and then sighed, pressing a hand towards Ivy's stomach to where a gaping wound was and within seconds, her body started to heal. "I'll do the rest later. Wait in the car for me. I'll be done soon." Clara touched Ivy's face gently with a long finger which made Ivy shiver and then do as she was commanded.
Twenty minutes later Clara eased into the passenger side and patted her thighs. Ivy stared but complied as well, not able to deny this woman anything. So she shifted in the drivers seat and then stretched down until her head was in Clara's lap. Soon fingers started to undo the careful bun and braid and then they eased out the tangles in Ivy's red hair which caused Ivy to close her eyes and hum with pleasure.
Warmth shot down from her scalp, those healing powers attacking her wounds and making them heal due to the command of their host. Ivy was lost in that, in the hair stroking and the wounds healing as well as Clara's breathing. Memories clouded her, of a woman who Ivy also couldn't deny doing the same thing to her but as a child. Ivy remembered her mother and how she would stroke her hair while humming. She had still been young when her mother did it. So it brought back those bittersweet memories and made Ivy jolt up from Clara's lap and turn the engine on.
She didn't want to be reminded of the past. But she didn't want her past to be touched either so she knew that if another person talked about her past home she would eliminate them. That was the only thing she could do now.
Protect her past from the shadows.
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Post by Ventia on May 14, 2015 23:55:43 GMT -5
"I could erase your memories."
The words were so sudden and out of nowhere that Ivy froze, her grip on the metal tray loosening and she watched as the tray tipped, the syringes slowly easing down due to gravity and then as the tray completely slipped from her fingers and danced in the air before collapsing against the concrete floor, a beaker scattering and syringes flying out in different directions. Still, she didn't move, even as little shards of the glass from the beaker flew and embedded themselves into Ivy's exposed legs. Even as the liquid from the beaker started to cover the soles of her shoes, Ivy didn't move.
Frankly, she didn't breathe. Her body in shock at just the suggestion of the woman standing behind her. Sweat dripped down from her hairline to the back of her neck, sliding slowly down her spine until it pooled around her shorts. Still, Ivy couldn't shake herself out of it.
All her memories gone? Could Clara really do that? Ivy didn't even know why she questioned that, of course Clara could do it if she said it in the first place. She was a angel for crying out loud. Who knew what that woman could do. But...did Ivy want that? Did she want all her memories to disappear?
She thought of nights. She could barely sleep due to the nightmares that she constantly had of her past. Memories flooded her at night and it was horrible. Waking up in cold sweats all alone, seeing ghosts of her past in her room...it was horrible. It helped with the wolves near but still, every night Ivy had to inject herself with drugs just so that she could sleep.
But with the memories gone? No nightmares. No...her head felt dizzy, a small voice in her mind telling it was because she was still not breathing and now she was getting lightheaded but Ivy couldn't really pay attention to that voice. Memories gone? No more nightmares? No more guilt? No more pain? No more sadness? No more pretending and being sick of the lies that she forged every fucking day?
A warm hand cupped her shoulder, jolting her back into reality and immediately Ivy swallowed a gulp of air and started chocking, her green eyes getting teary due to the sudden transition but soon she was breathing normally-functionally normally.
"How could you ask me that?" Ivy whispered, her voice and body shaking because god knew how much she wanted Clara to ask her that. God knew how much, deep deep down, that Ivy wanted those memories washed away so that she didn't have to always look over her shoulder. Selfish. She wanted to be selfish but there was that stubborn part of her character that forbade her to even think about accepting Clara's beautiful offer.
She stared at the woman in question, finally able to lift her eyes without showing the older woman just how badly she wanted that. What she found was a medium sized woman, curved in all the right places with soft looking light caramel hair with the bluest eyes. Clara looked like the average party girl who was supposed to be young and carefree. Instead, she was a fallen. She sprouted black wings and did all kind of weird stuff. She was passionate for those she cared for and deadly to those who tried hurting those she called her own. She was annoying and pushing and clingy and...and wonderful. And she cared. Which was why she asked. Ivy knew that. She knew Clara was noticing the slight changes in her. She knew Clara was worried...which was why she gave Ivy a easy way out. But Ivy just...couldn't.
"Because you're in pain. You're suffering every day. I thought time would pass but it's already been so long Ivy. You have nightmares everyday. You're not the only supernatural person here. I can hear you. I can see you. You shouldn't need to pump yourself with drugs just to get through the night. It's unhealthy. It's sick. You need to let go. You need to start anew. So yes, I asked if you wanted your memories taken away. I could give them back whenever you want. I could help you Ka-"
"Don't! Don't Clara. Please." Ivy clasped her hands around her shoulders, hugging herself and forcing the sobs that threatened to come out down and trying to ignore that word that was almost spoken.
Clara's face twisted in pain and she sighed, bending down and plucking the little shards of glass out of Ivy's skin. Once she was done, she tugged Ivy by the hand towards the bed and sat down with her. "Ivy...this needs to stop."
"I'm working on it. I'm getting better. I don't need my past taken from me."
"You're not getting better for crying out loud!" Clara snapped, grabbing Ivy's chin firmly with her fingers and forcing her to look at her. "Look at yourself! Circles under your eyes. Pained expressions. You can't go on like this. Let me help you. Let me help you Ivy."
Ivy snapped her head back from the angels grip and growled. "I'm. Fine. Leave me alone Clara." She started getting up but suddenly the world shifted and she was pressed hard against a cool surface. She struggled, her fingers shifting into claws so that she could claw Clara's grip until she let go but who was she kidding? She couldn't go against Clara. The bitch used magic on her. Fuck.
"Look at yourself Ivy!"
And with a horrified expression, Ivy was forced slightly back from the mirror so that she could look at herself like Clara wanted. She tried forcing her eyes closed but it was no use, they were frozen due to Clara's command. So she watched because there was nothing to do but just get it over with.
There she was, of average height with a slightly tan skin color with long straight red hair that reached past her hips. She wore only a tanktop and so she saw all her tattoos and piercings. She continued to watch, mentally struggling against the magic that compelled her. Brilliant bright green eyes stared back at her and Ivy's breath hitched in the middle of her throat as she watched as that perfect green slowly dissipated. With a unnerving slowness, pale blue flecks started to take over the green until finally her eyes were completely pale blue. Ivy started breathing heavily, mentally begging Clara to just stop!
But she didn't and Ivy watched as the tips of her red hair slowly turned dark brown to the point of being almost black. She watched as her hair changed colors, watched as the dark color flew up her strands until it settled in the roots of her skull. Ivy forced her eyes closed but they wouldn't listen to her so she glared at Clara who was standing behind her with a pained expression. As though she was the one who was hurt and being reminded of her true self. As though she was the one who was being wrong. Ivy wanted to growl. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry.
She watched as her tattoos soon vanished from her skin...all besides one. Ivy stared at the mirror that she was so used to seeing for countless years and yet it's was a shock to her today. She watched her wrist where a single black roman numeral tattoo stayed. Suddenly she was turned, and her head twisted back, her hand lifted up her long mass of hair and she saw the brand mark that she had already disposed of ages ago. Her grip on her hair loosened and soon she was jolted back into her body, having full reins on it.
She turned towards Clara and screamed at her. Tackling her to the ground and straddling her while growling in her face as tears streamed down her face. "Why!" Ivy screamed but as her black hair shadowed Clara's face, Ivy's lost the strength and bent all the way down, hiding her head in Clara's chest and crying into the bitch.
Minutes passed before Ivy opened her eyes and slowly eased from Clara's lap. When she saw her red hair again, she paused and twisted her head to look at the mirror. There she was. Ivy. With red hair, green eyes, tattoos covering her body as well as her piercings and...the sight made Ivy feel weak and she turned to stare back at Clara who was still wearing that damn pained expression.
"I'm sorry. You just needed to see how you've haven't move on. I needed to show that to you."
"You don't get to make decisions for me." Ivy whispered, wiping the wetness that covered her cheeks.
"I can't stand seeing you like this anymore. I can help Ivy."
Ivy stared down at her hands and slowly shook her head. "I...can't. I can't. I'm sorry I'm hurting you. I'm sorry but no matter how much it hurts...not matter how many nightmares I have...I just can't take that away. I can't throw my past away. I can't throw away those memories. My past has made me become whom I am now. Don't worry, I'll get better. I was just shaken up from the last mission. I'll get better."
"The offer will always stand. If you ever change your mind....it'll be done in just a matter of seconds. It'll be better in-"
"Clara, I said no."
"Fine, but like I said, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."
"I won't change my mind." But even as Ivy said it, doubt started to fill her because she wasn't sure if she could go on for much longer with things the way they were. She wasn't sure if her willpower was strong enough to resist the sweet escape that Clara provided.
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Post by Ventia on Jun 24, 2015 17:32:35 GMT -5
"Is she going to make it?" Ivy glanced up at the taller woman and shrugged, turning her gaze back to Fallyn. It had been a few weeks now since Ivy found her on the pack territory. Ivy had sneaked in so that she could leave a congratulation gift to her brother Jareth for getting sponsor. It was then that Ivy found Fallyn splattered against the ground, barely living. She couldnt bring Fallyn to the Pack's Infirmary-not because she was afraid of getting caught by anyone but because she knew all too well that the Infirmary wouldnt be able to save Fallyn. No one could...unless they had a angel on their side.
Which was why Ivy had broken protocol and took Fallyn. It wasnt like she could just leave her there when she knew that there was a chance that with Clara, Ivy could save her. So she took it but now? Ivy wasnt so sure if she could save her. The poor woman was stuck in a coma. Ivy sighed, running her hands through her hair and when hands appeared on her shoulders, Ivy closed her eyes and let the woman massage her.
"How about the baby?"
"Its growing and in stable condition."
"What if shes still in a coma by the time the baby needs to come out?"
"Its been done before Ruby, I'll pull it off." Ivy pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, rolling her shoulders once Ruby finished with her massage. Ivy twisted her head away from the glass window that showed Fallyn connected to various machinery and stared instead at Ruby, who was showing those very rare smiles. Even in this state of distress, it caused a familiar heat to build up in Ivy. She ignored it of course and instead leaned her back against the window and crossed her arms, staring at the taller woman.
"What?"
"Nothing, just thinking how long its been since you've joined us."
"Its only been a few months Rube."
"Feels longer, anyway come with me?"
"Just give me a few minutes, I'll meet you in your room." Ivy turned back around and stared at the glass before moving into the room. She moved around back to the window and shut the blinds in case someone decided to walk into the hallway and see what she was doing. It wasnt ethical what she was doing but it was the only thing that Ivy could do at this point. She took a syringe out of the cabinet and took out the vial from her pocket, filling the syringe with its content and then inserted the needle into Fallyn, watching as the blood entered Fallyn's system. She eased the needle out and disposed of it, staying for a hour or so in the room to make sure that Fallyn didnt have a negative reaction to the blood.
Once she was sure that both of them were stable, Ivy left the room and moved down the hallway until she eased Ruby's door open. Ruby was sitting crossed leg on the bed and Ivy could hear the shower on, meaning that Killian was in. It didnt deter her and Ivy moved deeper into the room until she was sitting on the bed.
"What can I do for you?"
"Clara and you went on that last mission to infiltrate The New Dawn because you were familiar with the packs around that area right?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Theres another pack that I'm interested in, The Nightstar, you know of it?"
Ivy nodded, tucking a stray hair behind her ear, "Why do you want to know about The Nightstar?"
"Personal reasons. How much do you know about it?"
Ivy narrowed her eyes, "That depends on the 'personal reasons'."
Ruby chuckled, running one hand through her dark hair. "Oh relax, I'm not planning on hurting anyone. Theres just some people I'm interested in."
"Like who?"
"Like our family." A deeper voice filled the room and Ivy turned to stare at Killian who only had a towel wrapped around his waist, still dripping water all over the place as he moved with a knowing smirk around the room. "Do you like what you see Ivy baby?" He leaned against the counter, placing his elbows on top of it and crossing his legs, causing the towel to shift and loosen slightly on his tanned hips.
Ivy raised one eyebrow, "I've seen better. Anyways, you have family in the Nightstar?"
"Yup," Killian ignored her first comment and raked a hand through his wet hair, flinging off droplets of water on the floor. "Two brothers and if my sources are correct, I have two nieces as well."
"So what are you planning on doing then?"
"Isnt it obvious?" Killian smirked, his dark russet eyes slowly turning dark yellow as his smirk grew wider.
"We're going to have a family reunion."
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Post by Ventia on Aug 23, 2015 14:46:22 GMT -5
"Mama?"
Ivy stared at the little boy in her arms, could remember all those relentless hours it took for her to get him out safely from his mothers body without harming any of them, and nodded. No longer was Jaimie the defenseless baby who screamed and screamed, no, now he was more of a toddler, crawling everywhere and taking a few steps here and now and falling onto a cushion of wolves who hovered over him wherever he went.
He was a small thing still, with dark red hair and those brilliant bright violet eyes of his. Hell, everyone gushed over him. It annoyed Ivy-seeing as how he was under her care but Jaimie loved the attention. And that was something that Ivy wouldnt take away from him. Not when he already had so much taken away. What she should have done the moment he was born was bring him back. But she couldnt. She was...attached.
It wasnt a surprise. She's been caring for him even before he was born. She gave birth to him in a way. She named him. Hell-he had her real last name. She fed him. Bathe him. Consoled him. She was there every day for him. She loved him as if he were her own and some days she forgot all about Fallyn because hell...she felt like his mother. In every way.
But she drew the line. She made it known that she wasnt his mother. She told little Jaimie about his mommy and took him out to see her. She even told him about his father. Which wasnt much because Ivy didnt really socilize with anyone at the time that Heathen was admitted to the pack-hell the only reason she knew was because her mother was the Beta and Ventia told Ivy about it. All Ivy could tell little Jaimie was that his daddy's name was Heathen and that he was a very nice lad. Which was really nothing.
But Jaimie was a happy babe and he didnt seem to notice that there was something big missing in his life-his parents.
Ivy watched as the toddler drew out a hand and touched Fallyn's cheek hesitantly with large worried eyes as though he were afraid that if he touched her, something might happen. Ivy caught the flicker of hope in his eyes and her heart clenched at the sight of it burn out, replaced instantly with a look of sadness only to be filled again with happiness.
"Preetyy." He draw'd out, biting his lip to keep from smiling too much. Ivy nodded and brought Jaimie closer, kissing the top of his head.
"Yes, your mommy is very pretty. You have her eyes you know?" Ivy smoothed his hair and watched as he stared at his mother, a swelling of emotion filling his gaze as if he were proud to have something that his mother had.
For the next hour, Ivy watched as Jaimie talked to Fallyn, as he touched her hand and her cheek, or shyly touched her hair...as he hugged her...Ivy was almost relieved when Jaimie turned towards her and crawled on her lap, telling her he was hungry and she clutched at that opening to leave the room. She hated and loved these moments. Loved it because she was happy that Jaimie wanted to see his mother. Hated it because she saw the flicker of disappointment in Jaimie's gaze when Fallyn didnt suddenly open her eyes and smile at her son.
She placed Jaimie on his baby chair and went about the kitchen looking for food, when she turned back she saw that Jaimie was surrounded by her comrades and she stared at him-no longer was there a flash of pain and disappointment in his gaze. No, there was only happiness, joy and excitement. Ivy breathed a sigh of relief and hoped that Jaimie could always be this happy despite the fact that he was missing his true family. No, now he was her family. He was everyone's Jaimie and Ivy swore to herself that she'd make sure that he was always happy.
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Post by Ventia on Aug 24, 2015 5:22:31 GMT -5
It was in the dead of the night, the cold relentless breeze of the Deadlands caused shivers to come out of her body. Oddly enough, she remembered her very first night out in the Deadlands. She had been young, barely fifteen and she had gotten lost. Stupid right? Ivy sighed against the steel bars of the balcony, her legs were dangling over the edge and she wore nothing but a simple shirt and shorts. She didnt know why she couldnt sleep. Jaimie was fast asleep, after having his bottle he stayed asleep up until nine o'clock in the morning so it wasnt because of the baby that she couldnt sleep.
Honestly she didnt know why. Ivy was unsettled. She smiled to herself, thinking of the old days where whenever she was unsettled she would just call Reaver. Or text him. Spam him until he woke up and helped her go to bed. Sometimes she convinced him to video chat with her. She forced the memory out of her head but it was already too late. Her heart hurt. She missed Reaver. She missed the only person who she could really call a friend. He was all she had back then.
It had been almost a year and a half now since she felt with her tail between her legs. She had been young and scared. She had been stupid. Very stupid she concluded only after a few months of being on her own. She was so confused with herself that she paid no heed to anything around her. And she left Reaver when he needed her most. It was the one thing she regretted. Ivy never regretted anything but she regretted leaving Reaver. She should have stayed. She should have faced her fears and met with Reaver and they both could have licked their wounds and suffer together. She should have. But she didnt. And she regretted it with each passing day.
She sighed, running her hands through her red hair. Hell...she missed her pack. Yes, she had adjusted to this group, to being a healer for people and doing favors for Clara but she missed her Pack. She missed hiking. She missed outings. She even missed being fussed over at the Infirmary. She missed her brother. It had been a few months since she sneaked in with the help of Clara to go and give Jareth a congratulating gift for being sponsored and she was always looking on the web for any news of the band but it wasnt the same. She missed him. She missed him writing songs for her. Missed him singing to her and playing the guitar. She missed her brother.
She missed her family. Mom. Jareth. Reaver. The Pack. They were her family and she missed them. Sure, now she had Jaimie and she was taking care of Fallyn and Clara fussed over her but...it wasnt the same. She wanted to come back home and New Dawn was the only place where she considered her home. She wanted Fallyn to wake up and reunite that family. She wanted to build a relationship with her mother again. She wanted to call on Reaver and make sure he was okay, to become best of friends again. Hell, she even wanted to get a bitching from Azalea. She wanted to see Uncle Darian and Aunty Eliora. She wanted to run across the land again and feel Whiskey at the back of her heels, trying to keep up. She wanted to walk around in the Pack House and sit by the fire, with a blanket and a cup of chocolate milk. She missed her home. Her past.
Ivy sighed again, pressing her cool forehead to the bars. It was too late.
A whole year and a half. She was sure that so many things had changed. She was sure that no longer was there a place for her. And she was sure that these people needed her now. Fallyn needed her and Fallyn couldnt be moved. Clara needed her. She had earn a place among her comrades and they depended on her. She couldnt just throw them away because she selfishly wanted to go back to her home. She couldnt. Ivy squeezed her eyes shut, forcing the urge to reach out and take her phone away.
But it was no use. For it was already in her hands. She had broken her phone the day she decided to leave. But that didnt mean she forgot anyone's numbers. Matter of fact, she had already dialed Reavers number and her finger hesitated above the call sign.
"Its not like he even has the same number..." Ivy laughed nervously and closed her phone, pushing it away from her so that she wasnt tempted. No. She couldnt go back. It was far too late. She doubted that anyone was waiting for her back home anymore. No, she just had to suppress her desires. It was easy enough. Because now she had Jaimie. But at nights like these, she just couldnt help remembering all those bittersweet memories. All those cherished memories.
By the time she climb back into her window, she was in need of a hug and the only thing waiting for her was her wolves and her little Jaimie...and she would be content with that.
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Post by Ventia on Apr 10, 2016 0:20:04 GMT -5
She left.
Ivy had been about to do the Trial to officially become a part of the Black Ash Pack but in the end? She couldn't. She just couldn't...take that step. And it had drawn on her that despite the fact that she was trying-trying to start a new life here at Black Ash, trying to open up to Voss and be with him as his lover, and trying to feel like she belonged...in the end? She just couldn't.
She tried-God she tried. Hell if someone looked at her, they would tell right away that she had tried just by appearances alone. When she left New Dawn, she told herself that she would never go back to being Katie. Which was why she dyed her hair and wore colored contacts-even going so far as asking Clara to change her scent so that she didn't smell like she had before. She got tattoos-since it camouflaged the only tattoo New Dawn knew she had-the roman numeral one. She even changed her name and everything about Katie Black had died. But for Voss? Because he had liked her better as Katie, Ivy had tried to changed.
She adopted her normal features-there was nothing she could do about the tattoos and yes, she refused to be called Katie and demanded that he respected her wish to be called Ivy but God dammit, that was a lot on her part. She became the person that she didn't want to see in the mirror anymore-for him. So yes, she tried and if someone knew her-truly knew her-then that would be obvious by her black hair and blue eyes alone.
Yet...it didn't feel like it really mattered to him?
It felt like he didn't see that she was trying to change. Which was another reason that prompt her to go. Because she couldn't be with someone whom made her feel like everything she did wasn't enough. Not to mention, she couldn't be with someone when all they had together was lust. Sure, it lasted a while but in the end? She didn't want that. Hell, she was asexual for the majority of her teen years. Until Voss raped her.
But none of that mattered because in the end? What prompt her the most to leave? Was the fact that it was unfair for Voss to have someone whom was still hesitant. Yes, she was trying but it wasn't working. She didn't think of Black Ash as her home. When she thought of home, she thought of her mother pushing her to her limit during training. She thought of the lake in New Dawn's territory. She thought of the Pack House and her mom's office-of the smell of lavender coming from Jewel as Jewel inspected her during her weekly inspections as a child. She thought of her brother. She thought of blue berries and Whiskey-her fox. She thought of her Alpha and all the childish admiration she held for that woman. She thought of New Dawn. And she knew, that despite everything, New Dawn will always be her home.
And that wasn't fair for Voss. How could she had stayed by his side most probably as Alpha Female of Black Ash and think of New Dawn as her home? As everyone in New Dawn as her packmates when it should have been everyone whom served Voss instead? Ivy couldn't do it. She couldn't take that role and she couldn't just...stay there after that realization.
Because soon Voss would take someone to be his Alpha Female and maybe he'd even find his true mate and Ivy couldn't see that. Did she love Voss? She wasn't sure. She didn't think Voss loved her either-probably loved the idea of her but not her. Not really. But she cared for him? He had been her first lover and at least for her, it meant something. But not enough apparently because she couldn't take that step with him.
He told her she could go. He knew that she was hesitant. That she craved for her true home. And he had told her that she could leave. She had been surprised that this had came from the same man whom raped her all those years back but she had been grateful either way. So she said her goodbye and that was that.
Clara came-Jaimie was hesitant since he enjoyed his time at Black Ash and Ivy gave him the option. Stay here? Or to leave. He was old enough now to make his own decisions and after leaving for a moment to which she later found out that he had said his goodbye to Lottie, he had come back to her and decided to leave. Clara's people of course followed Clara-some would have stayed if they thought it was possible-but they didn't ask.
It occurred to her after, when she was sitting in a chair in a hotel room with Jaimie sleeping on a long bed with the wolves that once again...she had ran away.
With New Dawn it was because she was still a child-she had witness Cinder getting hurt as well as Lottie and Dom by Voss and it had been her fault. Not to mention she was disgusted at herself at that time. It didn't help that the Pack was having problems and her only friend had been away-and when he was there-she was too disgusted at herself to face him. So she had ran away. Escaped from her problems and threw that life away. She had been a coward. She should have faced the repercautions. Should have held her grown and be mature enough to reap what she sow.
But she hadn't.
Just like today.
Ivy had ran away again. But this time, she liked to think that it was for the best. That this way, things would be better for Voss and for herself. Because, she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She couldn't belong anywhere if it wasn't at New Dawn. But the only thing was that she didn't belong at New Dawn either-at least, not Ivy. Katie belonged there and Katie was a ghost of the past. Which meant that once again, Ivy was stuck. She wanted to go back to New Dawn-craved for her homeland but at the same time, she couldn't. She-Ivy-didn't belong. However, she also didn't belong anywhere else. Which meant that she'll stay away from any pack.
In the end? She was just a rogue who couldn't go home.
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Post by Ventia on Sept 3, 2016 0:15:42 GMT -5
How strange.
When everything in her life was going just the way she wanted and yet she wasn't completely happy? All she ever wanted was for her past to stay just where it was-behind her. And now it finally was. Then she wanted the best for Jaimie because she couldn't stand to see her adopted child becoming just like herself and now? He was in the best mental condition he's ever been and to top it off, he's been in complete control over his ability.
This should have been enough to keep her happy. She shouldn't be too greedy for anything more. She should be counting her blessings that she was getting a larger income than before and that her son was finally emotionally stable, that she was able to provide a roof over his head and food on the table. That with each successful mission, she helped people. That she minimized the amount of pain that went around in the world.
But...no.
She wasn't happy. She was missing something inside of her. It was noticeable more now than ever since she didn't have a child shadowing her every move. No. Jaimie had grown up to become a remarkable man.
She was lonely she realized. Jaimie and Clara were the only two people that were really involved in her life. Both of them were like family to her. But they had their own lives and most days or not, Ivy found herself alone.
She wondered briefly if she should start dating again. But then she thought of Voss and mentally shook her head. She knew that she wouldn't be able to commit to the relationship. That all she really would be doing would be using the person. That if the person were to fall in love with her-she wouldn't be able to reciprocate those feelings. Because in the end, she just used them to get over the emptiness inside of her.
After all, she couldn't take that final step with Voss whom out of everyone besides her first real love..would be the most likely person that she could have taken that step with. So it wouldn't have been fair to the next person.
Thinking of her first love...made a smile come to her face. In all honestly, it was a childish love. She has had more with Voss than with him physically and yet...emotionally she had more with him. She felt more for him. He had been the only true friend she ever had. To this day, she's never found that again. Someone who she could text whenever she couldn't sleep because she was afraid. Or because she was just bored. Or frankly, because she just wanted to. She never knew that she had fallen for him until it was too late.
Until he told her he was leaving.
When she even thought of losing him, her heart hurt so much that she didn't know what to do. Even then, she didn't want to believe it. No. It was because of a bet that opened her eyes; a bet where they went on one date as a couple.
It was the best day of her life.
But that was all. All she had was memories of their time together and a matching tattoo.
All she could do was remember. Maybe that was why she wasn't completely happy. Because she still wasn't allowing herself to fully move on from the past. From New Dawn, her mother, Jareth, Voss, Azalea, and mostly, Reaver.
But she couldn't move forward either because of the past. It wouldn't allow her to. She was forced to suffer in these memories that she had of her old life. She was forced to remember the bliss and happiness of living as Katie Black. God. She tried moving forward. So many times. But she couldn't. The past kept calling her to it.
As a result of that, she felt empty. Lonely. Sad. She felt like she was missing a piece of herself that she could never get back. She felt like she would always be alone. That no one would be able to tear her away from the past. After all? Voss couldn't and he had been so close. So close. But in the end...her past wouldn't allow her to walk forward.
She was stuck.
She didn't know what to do.
Should she confront the past? Seek them out since it seemed like she couldn't get over them? Should she? Ivy didn't know. She always believed that the New Dawn wouldn't take her back. That the relationships that she made with everyone there wouldn't have gone back to normal. But. Maybe she had been wrong this entire time.
Maybe if she showed up again to the past, she'd find it waiting for her with open arms. Maybe even find him again.
Ivy glanced down at the tattoo against her hand and then stretched out that arm towards the sky, wondering if she could really grab everything that used to be hers once again and this time hold it dearly against her. If she could take hold of her home once more.
Maybe. Maybe not. Who knew? Certainly not her.
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Post by Ventia on Feb 22, 2017 16:37:06 GMT -5
"Life has a funny way of doing things, don't you think?"
The question made Ivy pause and glance back at the fallen. She was leaning against the alleyway, long strands of caramel flowing gently against her slender shoulders and she was staring at Ivy. Her baby blue eyes filled with emotions that were usually so guarded when it came to the woman.
Ivy looked away and stared down at the man beneath her, who's life she had just taken. She brushed her fingertips against his hair, ignoring the sight of blood against her pale skin, and moved her hand down to close the man's eyes.
She had done this for too long. How many lives had she taken? How many empty eyes had she closed? How many souls had she bid farewell? She cupped the man's cheek, brushed her thumb against the cooling skin, before gently picking the man up and holding him tight to her chest, before once more facing the fallen.
"Even he has someone who loves him. One day, maybe I'll die by their hand." Ivy stepped forward, the dead weight in her arms nothing compared to the invisible chains that drowned her. She paused by the fallen and breathed in, before continuing on in her path.
Life was funny.
Life had always been funny.
-
He was next to her again and her wrist burned. It was pouring. The sky was almost as dark as her soul and it wept for everything that had slipped through her foolish fingers. Despite that, it was warm. Despite the fact that her clothes were soaked through. Despite the face that the rain was getting in her eyes. Despite the hint of thunderstorms in the background. Despite the unforgiving wind that made her bones shake.
Ivy was warm.
Maybe it had to do with the boy by her side. Ah. He was still a boy. Then again, it had been so long now and her memories could only do so much. It didnt matter. Ivy turned her head, the rain now sliding into her right eye but even rain couldnt ruin this. The rain made his profile seem hazy. He was still tall-she could tell even if he was lying down. Dark brown hair had turned to jet-black in the rain. And he was hugging on to his body as if he were cold.
She wondered what he was thinking about. But she didnt dare speak or move her hand out to touch him. To get his attention so that he too would turn his head and she'd see those eyes once more. She took in the slight curve of his nose and the thin line of his lips, of the smoothness of his cheeks and his ears which were mostly hidden with the slightly longer hair. He had no stubble yet against his chin and her eyes suddenly welled up.
The rain.
Her eyes burned but she didnt want to close them. Didnt want to lose that profile even here. But it was too much. The water covered her gaze and she slowly closed her eyes, watching as the darkness swallowed up the boy. She stared at his blurry face for the last few moments until finally darkness filled her.
She was still warm. It was still raining. She sighed.
Life.
Such a cruel, funny, thing-
Fingers wrapped around hers. Her eyes flew opened and the rain and tears flooded her vision once more. She stared into those eyes. Just as she had once done. His brilliantly bright emerald clashed with the mysterious dark brown and yet, everything clicked.
His fingers squeezed and although she was reluctant to look away from those eyes, she glanced down at her hand. At his. Ah.
She remembered why they had gotten these tattoos in the first place. So when they held hands...the tears followed the rain's path against her cheeks and she glanced back up at those eyes and...smiled.
-
Knight was the one who came to get her. He always was the one. She was curled up under a tree and it was raining. She had fallen asleep in her wolf form and she had woken up to a warm wolf by her side. For a moment, she let the illusion carry on out and she curled herself closer to Knight, hiding her face within his neck and breathing in the deep scent.
A soft whine later and Ivy broke as she howled into his fur and wetness seeped through the wolf's eyes. His gently licks brought her out of the haze so much later and she growled playfully at him before finding her footing on four feet. They went home then, naturally clawing at the door until they opened up, and Ivy made her way to her room, Knight right behind her.
She was still soaking wet when she hopped onto her bed and the wolf didnt seem to care either because Knight joined her. It wasnt long before the rest of the pack came. Dawn came only a few seconds after Knight and then Ryka came just a few more moments later. Dakota and Czar came at the end, together.
It had been a while since they had all crowded her bed, after all, most of the time they were glued to Jaimie. But it was nice and Ivy felt like she could breath again. She was...warm. She closed her eyes as the wolves huddled around her, sometimes they would whine and try to nip at her or lick her, and everything smooth her.
It wasnt long before she drifted back to a dreamless sleep. But she was still smiling. Because it was warm.
Because life was funny.
Because life was warm.
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