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Post by Eliora on Apr 11, 2016 22:58:56 GMT -5
The air was cool and still. The scent of pack was strong on the breeze. All was silent and still except for the large white figure that ran through the pack's territory. The scent of pack was a scent that the wolf had grown accustomed to and one that partially became her own. The large wolf raced along underneath the partial light of Lady Luna as if trying to escape something frightening.
Most nights she couldnt sleep. She often tossed and turned and even fought in her sleep. She was constantly fighting haunting sadness and a relentless ache. While working with Voss and Anthony, Eliora found it easy to forget her constant companions but it was in her private moments that they made themselves known. There were but a few here in Black Ash that she was ok with and those she could easily count on her hand.
She was protective over Lottie. She had an odd friendship with Voss. She still disliked Kia, but she didnt hate her. She tolerated Foxxy and her mate Ka'ron. But most of all, she wasnt trying to kill Anthony at every turn. She found that her hatred for him was lessening with each passing moment she spent with him.She didnt want to forgive him because what he had done was unforgiveable but she found herself doing just that. She fought with herself all the time about it. She felt she was betraying not only herself but also her family.
On nights like tonight, she found herself very restless. It was hard enough as it was trying to go to sleep in the first place. She trotted across their growing territory trying to tire herself out but the more she was out and about, the more her reatlessness grew. The more the ache in her chest grew, the emptiness,the sadness, the longing and of being an outsider grew. The more she was out roaming around the more amplified these things were.
There was something pulling her away from this territory but she fought it thinking that it was the shadow luring her deeper into the darkness. The only thing that kept it at bay was being around the pack. It always stayed quiet and calm giving her a taste of peace. She hadnt been around Antonio and Antwan, which was private blessing because she knew for a fact that she would have tried to kill them at every turn. Anthony may not have been directly responsible but the two of them were.
The overwhelming need to let out her anguish in some form was crushing.She paused in her tracks and looked up at the crescent moon snarling before it turned into a whine. She was so mixed up. She had yet to speak to Voss about her past and all of their parts in it. She hadnt spoken to Foxxy to see what she knew nor did she turn to Lottie.
She was in constant pain but she hid it beneath her silence and off standish behavior. If it were not for Voss and Lottie, she would never truly smile. They were her enemy and she couldnt afford to show them weakness, yet she found her resolve against them actually faltering and she wasnt sure what to make of it. She found herself evious of the love connections of those around her. It made her lonely and it made her weep. They were all surrounded by family and friends and was alone with her fcked up emotions and a voicethat always whispered to her.
She looked at Lottie and thought of Casey. She missed her baby and wanted to wrap her arms around him. She wanted to sit and watch movies with him or listen as he played the piano or hell simply meditate with him. This pack made her miss her friends from boot camp that became lifelong friends, family even. She felt lost and abandoned while surrounded by strangers She was so torn by how she was feeling and she hated it.
She wept inside and when it became overwhelming and uncontainable, she lifted her nose to the skies and let out all of her anguish and pent up emotions. . It was eery and soft and flowed smoothly like a lyrical rollercoaster. She poured everything into her song; sadness, anger, isolation, abandonment, heartache, longing...
It hit her hard. It was soul wrenching and horrid, the darkness that sleeps with her feeding off of the morbid emotions. It sickened her and had her hating herself at times. When she had finished her song she began running again, unable to still her restless body. With each paw that hit the ground she picked up speed until it felt as of she were flying across the land. She paid no heed to where she was going, she simply ran as if trying to get away from those choking emotions but they had their wicked claws burried deep in her flesh.
This was her struggle. These were her demons and constant companions. This was why she wished that she had continued to run away that night she had gotten caught up with Voss's pack. Now she had grown an attachment to them to them that would make it that much harder when the time came for her to go.
She didnt know why or what was pulling her but it hurt her to stay. She couldnt bring herself to speak of it to anyone although the she would actually speak with was Voss. She had no one else that she could turn to.
As she ran the wind snatched at her furas her large frame flew across the ground ,her paws pounding and leaving their mark. Her golden eyes a bit dazed as the need to leave gripped her fiercely. It was to the point where her body was moving of its own accord and allowing the pull to take her.When she came to the edge of the pack's territory. She came to a screeching halt and began to pace back and forth growling like a caaaged beast. The only thing that truly caged her was her mind.
She could cross that invisible and go without anyone being the wiser. If she did then she wouldnt know where to go or if she should follow the pull to fully take her and she would never know what had happened to her. She had come to the conclusion that she had amnesia and that it took ten plus years from her. A lot could have happened within those ten years and she wouldnt know any of it.
So instead of leaving or following the pull, she whined and laid down at the boarder and tried to catch her breath. Sh ecould no longer stand so she laid there staring across the boarder. Once again she had decided to hide out in the midst of Black Ash.
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Post by Eliora on Apr 15, 2016 14:51:52 GMT -5
It was a cool night and once again Eliora could not sleep. She had done her normal traipsing through the territory but still seemed a bit edgy. She had come to the normal spot at the edge of the territory. The need to leave warring with the want to stay. Eliora paced as Voss's words played in her head. "To be honest ...and I hope it doesn't offend you. But you have no reason to remain with the pack"
That should be confirmation that she should leave, shouldn't it? No. It felt as if she were being rejected. His reasoning was sound and she couldn't help but agree though at the same time it stung. She had mulled over those words for days and replayed the entire conversation. She knew she didn't have a reason to remain and have every reason to go but she found herself wanting to stay. She wanted to see what the knew about her. She wanted to see the pack standing strong. She wanted to witness their development and see how far they get as a unit. She had grown an attachment to them even when she knew she shouldn't.
Did Voss truly think that she would harm his pack if she stayed? Did he grow tired of her being there so soon? It shouldn't bother her that he thought that she leave but it did. She didn't follow people blindly. She didn't accept him completely simply because he was the leader of the pack. He actually proved to be someone that she could respect. The title of Alpha meant nothing if you didn't have the appropriate skills it took to actually be one. He'd told her to merely aske and he would tell her all that she wanted to know.
She stopped pacing and dug her claws into the compact dirt beneath her paws until it grew loose and soft. She sat on her haunches and simply looked at the sand. metaphorically she was the sand. She hardened herself against them at first but then with persistence, she had grown soft. When the nerves in her body wouldn't allow her to calm down ,she quickly got to her feet once more and took off. She picked up speed with each step until she was flying across the desert. She ran herself ragged. It seemed the only way for her restlessness to leave her.
Her constant companions always making themselves known and giving her no reprieve. Every night she would sing to the moon, knowing that Lady Luna was deaf to her cries. Every night she was haunted and every night she never truly slept. She had come full circle back to her spot by the edge of the territory. The pull to leave ever present confusing her as to why. Her legs were weak and so she collapsed in her spot and let the exhaustion pull her down into a dreamless slumber.
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Post by Eliora on Aug 10, 2018 16:18:16 GMT -5
Loneliness weighed her down as if she were chained to cement blocks while she drowned in the ocean of sadness.She felt hollow.She constantly tried to keep herself busy, trying to escape the guilt that plagued her. Her thoughts kept her awake no matter how much she tried to tire out her body, her mind would give her no peace. So there she sat in her bed and stared at the wall across the room. Voss... As much as she tried not to, she found herself drawn to him.
At the thought, she growled in irritation as she balled her hands into fists clutching the blanket that covered her. She didnt want to feel anything for them,she most definitely didnt want to catch feelings for Voss.She had a hard enough time as it were trying to deal with the emotions that drowned her,she assumed, because she lost her memories. She didnt need anymore added to her plate. But even as these thoughts crossed her mind, images of his smile,the sound of his laughter, the way his eyes softened when he looked at Lottie…
She snarled and snatched the blankets off raking her clawed hands across her legs. She stared down at her claws in stark surprise. She hadnt even known that she had shifted her hands. She looked down at her legs and had the overwhelming need to cry. That just made her angry.she went to angrily wipe away her tears when she remember her hands were still claws. The thoughts of Voss caused immense guilt that she had no reason to feel, right? What the fuck! She snarled and leapt off the bed. She could feel something building up inside her and that sickeningly sweet voice of the shadow that haunted her.
“Just let it consume you. Unleash it on these fools.” It said in a singsong voice
“Shut up!” Eliora snarled and raked her claws against the wall where the shadows were darkest and danced merrily.
“Oh come now cher, they have let down their guard. Now is the perfect time to attack and get your revenge. Unless you enjoy being amidst the your enemies?” It asked in a curious tone. When Eliora didnt respond aside from a growl the shadows danced.
“This is priceless. You actually like these people. Despite knowing that they were responsible for the death of your family, still you want to stay? Have you forgotten the massacred mess that was your kin? How they raped your mom, murder your sibling and laughed as your father was ripped apart by a beast?” The shadow laughed mockingly.
Each word it spoke felt like knives cutting deeply into her flesh. “They hold vital information that i need. Why would i strike them down and chance losing it?” Eliora demanded with a snarl and the shadow laughed at her stupidity.
“Are you sure its vital information? How certain are you that they arent merely holding it over your head to keep you here?” It said in its sick singsong voice as it danced like a snake on the wall. “No wait, you trust them to keep their word.” It mocked.
“Voss told me that i could come to him at anytime to get the answers i wanted. He even said that he would not hold me here if i did not wish to stay.” Eliora snapped taking a swipe at the shadow again only to have her claws rake the wall.
“Ohh , wo you stay of your own accord?You have fully turned your back on your family have you?” The shadow laughed and danced around her. “Or mayhaps he was using reverse psychology?” It asked thoughtfully before laughing again. “Or maybe you are simply weak.” It hissed and snaked along the floor to the other side of the room.
“I am not weak.” Eliora said coldly as she kept her eye on the shadow.
“Then why do you stay and not kill them? Who in their right mind would stay among their enemies and call them friend?” It mocked and Eliora growled.Her thoughts turned to Voss and her heart became stricken with guilt and sadness. She was barely able to keep the sob contained. The shadow danced in glee at the sight.
“Oh come now, you owe them no fealty. Kill them and be done with it. You’d be able to get rid of some of your guilt, not to mention the loneliness you fight with because the all rub their relationships in your face.That’s another thing, how come you have never taken a lover?” when eliora blushed the shadow cackled.
“Oh now i see why you stay. Which one is it? Surely not any of those brothers since technically you’ve a;ready slept with each one of them.” It mocked her gleefully loving how the words it spoke brought up memories she’d rather forget. It wanted to pull out those memories and the emotions that they brought with them. She wanted the blasted woman to give in to them so set herself free it would be so much easier for her if she did.
“There is no one!” Eliora snarled and the shadow laughed once more.
“Well seeing as how none cares to be around you, which i find funny by the way, the only males that i can think of would be the beta and the Alpha. Im pretty sure the beta’s mate would try to kill you if you went near him, im assuming it is the Alpha.” At the stricken look on Eliora’s face, the shadow danced even more and wrapped itself around her like a constrictor.
“I am correct, arent I? Is he why you have forsaken the task of avenging your family’s death?” Guilt spread through Eliora like wildfire causing pain wherever it spread.
“So you would forsake your family for some stranger? Hmm,that’s pretty low dont you think? Did your family mean so little to you that you would discard them so callously?” The shadow whispered in her ear. Angry tears fell down Eliora’s face. “That’s not it at all. Things have changed-”
“Of course it has. You would rather fuck your enemy than kill him and ilk disregarding the promise you made to your family to avenge them, or have you forgotten that tid bit of information as well?” The shadow pressed. Eliora fought against the allegations that the shadow was throwing at her but did it’s words have any merit? If not then why was she so angry when the words were spoken? Why did the thought of leaving them cause her such pain? Why did she feel like she was being torn in two different directions?
“None of this is true!” She snarled and raked herself with her claws to get the shadow being away from her, although her efforts were for naught. She ignored the blood and the searing pain that burned through her. “I have not forgotten! I have not turned my back on my family! I will get the information i need and be done.”
“Oh? So you are going to kill them then?” The shadow hissed as it raced across the floor.
“I-” She started but couldnt bring the words forth. She didnt want to hurt Lottie and Voss. She will admit that she held some affection for Voss and wasnt sure as to how far that affection for him actually went. She saw Lottie as someone close to her. She reminded her so much of Casey that it actually hurt sometimes to be around her. But the rest? She didnt care for them too much, though she did have a semblance of respect for them albeit reluctant. She was confused about them all and wasnt sure why she felt the way she did.
Before the shadow could speak anymore of its poison, she cut it off and spoke. “I will speak with Voss and leave this place.” She softly as she headed out of her room. She wore nothing but a pink tank top and blue pajama shorts as her hair hung down her back and around her shoulders. She growled when the shadow laughed at her and headed straight for Voss’s room. As she stood there, her heart raced. She was filled with so many conflicting emotions that it was overwhelming. Tears ran freely down her cheeks as she stared at the door. She raised her hand to knock on the it but stopped herself just before she did.
Snarling she turned on her heel and stormed out, the cackling laugh of the shadow following her. Wanting to just run as far as she could in hopes of running away from her thoughts, she shifted and ran as fast and as far as her legs would carry her. When she reached the forest’s edge, she caught the scent of prey and immediately went in search of the poor animal that would meet her fangs.
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Post by Eliora on Aug 10, 2018 16:31:59 GMT -5
**This takes place months after Survival games**
Things had settled down somewhat after the pack's trial and Eliora was more apprehensive than ever. She no longer had a real reason to stay with the pack. She had told herself time and time again that she would find out about the memories that she had lost during that ten-year time frame.The emptiness continued to grow inside her intertwining with her sorrow. It became increasingly difficult to hide her emotional turmoil.
Members of the pack were already weary of her, it didnt help that the murderous bloodlust was always just below the surface ready to be unleashed at the slightest provocation. She had a short temper and violent outbursts from time to time, though she always keep a tight reign around Voss and Lottie.It was her fear of hurting Lottie that really bothered her though.
She constantly heard whispers as her shadow self relentlessly tried to provoke her. Every day it urged her to do the unthinkable. It constantly threw at her that she turned her back on her family, the one's she had promised to protect and avenge, all because she kept the company of their murderers. When darkness falls is the time when she becomes more susceptible to the shadow and its whisper. Her nightly walks doing nothing to ease the restlessness. Even leavening the territory didnt help, it only gave a brief respite before the shadow called for their blood. She would cry herself to sleep many nights and ask for an end to her torment and pain. Her shadow merely laughed callously at her mewling . Nothing helped and she feared that nothing would. Every day it seemed the influence of her shadow self-grew stronger and always brought her back to Black Ash.
She'd told herself that it was only because of the information they had about her and she couldnt leave without knowing what they knew. So here she was in cargo pants and a black tank, heart racing, eyes glowing violet with her white hair braided down her back though there were stray strands that stood out.She looked ready for a fight, part of her was looking for one. Her teeth were elongated in anticipation of ripping into someone's flesh but by the skin of her very teeth she managed to keep herself in check as she knocked on Anthony's door.
The hour was late and the thought that she may have been interrupting anything barely brushed her mind. The only thing that in the forefront of her mind was for her to get the information and go. The sooner she did the better off everybody would be. When she heard footsteps approaching her entire body froze and ready to attack.She gave what she thought was a smile was in fact a baring of teeth as Anthony answered the door.
The sight of Eliora gave him pause as he stood in his pajama pants with no shirt and his locks hung about his shoulders. His grey eyes clearly showed his confusion though his body was ready for an attack as he filled his doorway blocking any chance of her getting in and going for his mate. It was no secret that the two didnt really get along. "Eliora-" He started to say but he was soon cut off.
"I want you to tell me everything you know about me that I have forgotten. "She demanded of the Beta with a bit of a growl. Anthony gave her a look as if weighing his options and his response to her. He looked over her should for the briefest of moments and knew that with the state Eliora was currently in, he didnt want Kia anywhere near her especially with how protective she was of him. He gave Eliora a reserved look and before giving a soft sigh.
He knew that this was coming, he just hoped she didnt kill him after he gave her the information. That thought gave him pause. Before he wouldnt have cared if she killed him, but he had a new life and a new mate that made him want to live out his life. "Ok fine. I will tell you but not here. I dont want Kia waking up to this conversation." He said and waited for Eliora to move away so that he could step out and close the door.
She did with a low growl as she turned on her heel and walked off. "Fine." Seeing the mated pairs always got under her skin. She'd had her chance at a mate she was just unfortunate in that he was the son of a whacked out murdering bastard. But then again the apple didnt fall far from the tree. Growling she pushed those thoughts from her mind and lead the way towards the edge of pack territory. She'd made up her mind that she was leaving, feeling it was much too dangerous for both her and the pack to be in such close proximity.
Anthony was understandably apprehensive.She was losing it. Her eyes were creepy as hell and her presence alone was enough to cause the hair on the back his neck to stand on end. He had second thoughts about following her but he knew that if it came down to it, he would give his life so that his family could live theirs. He didnt want to go with her but he didnt want her near the pack in her current state. He cursed himself, as he realized he was without a weapon in the middle of the night with a psychotic woman who wanted him dead. Yeah, Kia was going to give him an earful when she found out. He cringed at the thought.
He saw BJ patrolling and signaled for him to be on alert. He didnt know how things were going to pan out with Eliora but he didnt want them to be blindsided by her. BJ was less than thrilled to see them walking off together. Next thing Anthony knew, Falcon was flying overhead. He sighed and continued following Eliora. They came to the very borders of the pack and She began to pace. It was clear by how strong her scent was in the area that this was a place she frequented a lot. He could tell she was beyond restless and it bordered agitation.
"Eliora, what is the matter? Did something happen?" He asked cautiously and she snarled before she caught herself. As a reflex, his hand went to his hip where his gun normal sat. He mentally kicked himself for coming unarmed. Luckily Eliora didnt see the gesture.
"I need to leave but I cant because i need to know what happened. I have tried to leave time and again but something keeps pulling me back. The fact that all of yo unknow things about me that I dont know is really eating me up. Right now I want to rip you apart and bask in your blood. You should be dead. You are their murderer and yet there is still life in your body. Why?" She demanded as her eyes went from violet to blue back to violet.
Anything took a step back and cautiously took a step back and raised his hands slowly to show they were empty. "I thought we had moved past that?" He asked slowly then almost immediately regretting it.
"I didnt move past shit!" She snarled and raked her claws against a nearby tree leaving deep grooves. "I merely suppressed it so that I could have shelter and keep my life." She glared at him and her eyes seemed to dance as they focused on him like he was prey. "I couldnt rightly leave especially when i found out you knew something vitally important concerning me. The only way i could stay was if i promised not to kill anyone of you." Snarled one last time and bared her fangs at him before balling her hands into fists, her claws digging into her palms as her eyes changed from violet to ice blue.
"You dont know how hard it is to be so close to your enemy and being unable to kill them. You dont know how it feels to be pulled in one direction but forced to stay in place. I want to leave. I have to leave but i cant, not without knowing." Eliora said as tears filled her eyes. "I have to get away from you people. I have actually grown an attachment to you all. A fucking attachment." She growled as she angrily wiped her tears away leaving blood streaks on her face. When the violet began to bleed into her eyes once more, Anthony forced himself to stay in place when everything told him to move away. He didnt want to set her off especially when it was so clear that she was trying to stay somewhat calm.
The sad truth was he did know how she felt. He knew exactly how she felt because it is what happened to him. He lived at the side of the very man that he had wanted to kill, forced to serve him instead. "I should have gone to Voss instead." Her soft-spoken words brought him from his fleeting thoughts as he watched her closely. "But telling him good-bye would have hurt. With you it wouldnt be as sentimental which makes it a lot easier." She said and looked at him with blue-violet eyes.
Anthony said nothing as she ranted and spoke. The changes on her eye color fascinated him but he knew it had something to do with her mental state so it also made him weary. He would simply give her the information she needs in order to leave. It was clear to see that it was tormenting her and he had long since lost the enjoyment of hurting her in anyway. He would inform Voss of her departure though he had the feeling that Voss would be somewhat aware already or at least have an idea that she would be leaving. Even as he thought this he kept his eyes on her.
She had confirmed his thoughts with her behavior. He had suspected that she was slowing unwinding. It was bittersweet to find out that he had been right.She was unsteady and dangerous. So if she wanted to leave he was more than happy to let her go.
"Eliora, I have no problem with telling you what you need to know . We were all simply waiting for you to come when you were ready to hear it. Though I warn you,some of the information may be a bit hard for you to handle." He said and motioned for her to take a seat on a nearby boulder. For a moment they stood there staring at one another as her blood dripped. It was a long moment before she finally sat down though her eyes never left him. The way she sat down allowed her to push off if she decided to lunge at him.
He took several deep breaths as he readied himself to tell her what she wanted to know, although in the same breath he was readying himself to die. He wouldnt go down without a fight but his chances of survival if she shifted would be none. He'd have to kill her before she had the chance to. He turned sad storm grey eyes on her and began to tell her everything. From how she was kidnapped and held prisoner, how they kidnapped her son Casey and Benjamin gave him to a vampire,about her other mate, her children, their birth, Benjamin's death, her death, her pack and everything else that he knew that was relevant to her.
He watched her the entire time he spoke but through it all her expression didnt change,it remained neutral. He'd expected her to protest, fume, cry,etc. Hell he expected her to kill him. But what he didnt expect was what she actually did. The color of her eye constantly changing as if she were warring with herself. He was concerned for her but he wouldnt approach her.
She slowly stood to her feet and began to walk towards him. He couldnt read her face and he was genuinely afraid to make any sudden movements. For the briefest of moments, her eyes stayed ice blue and a tear fell. She opened her open to speak but snarled instead. He slowly began to try to inch away from her. She turned from him with another snarl and began to leave. He wanted to stop her and make sure she was ok but he wasnt fucking stupid and knew that she clearly wasnt. Not to mention there was no way in hell he was letting her go back to the pack as she was. As he watched her it seemed as though she was in agony but there was nothing he could do for her. So he watched her and made sure she left.
'BJ, I want snipers at all the checkpoints of the border and extra guards on patrol. Eliora is no longer welcomed back here in her current state, she is too volatile and dangerous. If you see her turning around to come back, kill her on sight. The only reason for her to come back so suddenly would be because she lost the battle with herself and only have one thing on her mind.' He sent out the message not wanting to take any chances that she would turn back around.
'Falcon, Watch her and make sure she leaves the area. If it looks like she is turning around let us know immediately.' He said and Falcon flew off to follow her. He sighed, letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He honestly thought she would kill him but was thankful when she didnt. Though with the way she left it meant that they would be on high alert for a while meaning no sleep for him. Yea he was spared by his enemy only to be killed by his mate. He sighed as he headed back home.
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